Saw today someone posted some thing about baby daddies and how not to complain about them bc I chose to have a child with them.... Made me sad bc the men I had children with were very abusive to me and wrecked me emotionally! It's hard not to complain or vent or seek advice.... I try so hard! I go to school full time and work two jobs while raising two kids and paying my bills as soooo many people do... Whether your a single mom or a married couple life can really strike u hard financially sometimes! But I guess I'm just really having a hard time with the last post I made bc my kids dad was using and I don't know what to do... The kids miss their dad and it's been months since they've been to his home for a visit. He says he's been clean for a few weeks now but I don't think that's long enough to let my kids go back unsupervised... He's in a very toxic relationship and has no rules when the kids r there... He cusses around them and degrades women and if I had known that he was this way truly I'd maybe have had second thoughts on telling him I was prego 6 years ago... It's horrible to say but he has brought me more stress and emotional hardship to my life than anything else... I pray and talk to friends but it's so hard bc in the mean time I go back and forth trying to decide if I'm doing the right thing or if I'm making this a bigger deal than it is and should let the kids be with him... He WAS a super dad ... Then just wasn't and I wonder if maybe I was pushing to hard by saying don't swear! They have to go to bed at 9! Y don't u send they're clothes back! Why isn't her hair brushed! But it's true! I spend a lot of money on clothes for my kids and their clothes never got sent home and "her" kids would wear them! And my daughters hair was a rat nest by the end of the weekend bc they never made her brush it or brush her teeth! I can't control it but don't know what to do... I'm lost...

parenting is no cake walk

its even harder when parents aren't on the same page with the kids

just always think of what is going to best benefit your children, even if it temporarily pisses you off,,,,,,

try to instill as much of those habits into her that you can and perhaps she will take them with her wherever she is?

I know its not easy, but it comes and goes

how could you have any question in your mind. Absolutely no unsupervised visits, and you should not be the "supervisor" by any means.

In mind my you have two options. Tell the kids he is sick and cannot have visitors or tell him the only way you can visit is to go to a public place like a park or pool or to the movies, but that will only work if he can be trusted to cooperate.

Or your local children's services may have some local resources where visits can take place in a supervised setting. Either way, I think you need to call them. Good luck.

I agree. I would call child protective services and get some support from them. How do you know whether he is using or not? If he is using, something could possibly happen to your children. Please get some help.

Thanks guys... I've already called attorneys and visitation centers and they all say it has to go to court and he has to bring it to court bc right now I am holding all the cards... Just hard to see the kids missing they're dad... But thanks!