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| Topic: when should i tell a guy my children are inter racial? | |
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Edited by
alnewman
on
Sat 12/28/13 05:37 PM
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I wouldn't do it before the first date (why blow the chance for night out and a bit of pampering?) So a little dishonesty goes a long way, why would I expect anything different? there is nothing dishonest about finding appropriate times for appropriate conversation,,,, Really? Nothing dishonest about getting something for free first. Odumboite all the way. |
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How do you know it's because of the color of their skin? If they actually say that, then you don't want to be around someone like that anyway. As for when to bring it up ? Never ? It's 2013...why is this even an issue ? Because it might be 2013 but there are still some raging racists in the world and they do NOT always wear a sign around their neck saying so. If you get yourself in a situation they decide to act on their bigotry it can not only be unpleasant it can be dangerous. Hate crimes can and do occur even in some of the most progressive communities. The idea of trying to pull a fast one and keeping that information from a bigot thinking it would be just punishment is absolute lunacy besides living down to their worst stereo types and making it harder for others. Even having retribution taken out on her children. |
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Gm, well I don't show pic or kids until we have gotten to know each other because sometimes the friendship / relationship may not last and not good for the kids to meet them even tho WE LOVE OUR BABIES / mine r grown but I still wait / and sometimes men r still playing games.
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Edited by
msharmony
on
Sun 12/29/13 07:57 AM
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I wouldn't do it before the first date (why blow the chance for night out and a bit of pampering?) So a little dishonesty goes a long way, why would I expect anything different? there is nothing dishonest about finding appropriate times for appropriate conversation,,,, Really? Nothing dishonest about getting something for free first. Odumboite all the way. nothing dishonest about going on a DATE And getting a chance to enjoy oneself without having to present an auto biography first,,,IT should suffice knowing that I am a mother,,if they need to know their skin color , eye color , etc,,, that's their problem, not mine,,, drama king much? |
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Ive thought about this more, and honestly speaking, I have never even considered the need to talk about my kids race,,,, but my first child is African American as one would expect to be the natural race of my child, whatever race my date however, being that my second child is biracial, I think if I dated someone I still wouldn't think it was relevant enough to bring up,,, its an interesting consideration,,,,,, I am inclined to agree more with this...it isn't even a topic that needs discussed. I think it might be a good idea to just let guys you chat to know that you don;t like bigotry of any kind. Then you are more likely to get people contacting you who are not prejudiced. I also would not feel any obligation to disclose the race of my famikly members ...WTF????? 
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I wouldn't do it before the first date (why blow the chance for night out and a bit of pampering?) So a little dishonesty goes a long way, why would I expect anything different? there is nothing dishonest about finding appropriate times for appropriate conversation,,,, Really? Nothing dishonest about getting something for free first. Odumboite all the way. nothing dishonest about going on a DATE And getting a chance to enjoy oneself without having to present an auto biography first,,,IT should suffice knowing that I am a mother,,if they need to know their skin color , eye color , etc,,, that's their problem, not mine,,, drama king much? and who said anything about who pays??? ONE date is not a marriage commitment 
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You shouldn't have to tell them anything, the right guy wont care.
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If you are anything like I am, you do not bring
men around your children until you know it is going somewhere. It is really none of their business about your children unless you think it is going to be a committed relationship. IF they can not accept your children for something so small as the color of their skin, do you really want them any way? There are a lot of people that are still stuck back in the days when racism was still going strong. You can not change people so you just have to keep dating until you find the right person that will love you and your children. NEVER allow anyone to treat your children different just because they are a different race. One of my good friends has a daughter and she is also bi-racial, my boys always told her how beautiful her tan was. Finally my friend asked me when am I going to tell them that she is a different color, I said never..why should I. My kids do not judge people for the color of their skin, they like people for the way they treat them. I actually told Rose that if she wanted them to know that she would be the one telling them. So we all sit down and she explained that her daughter's Dad was a black man and that was why she was tan. My boys said OH ok can we go play now. I do think that the parents make a bigger deal out of it then the kids do. Children are willing to accept others by the way they treat them, IF they are taught the right way. Good Luck and I hope you figure out how you want to handle things. I myself would wait until I thought we were going to be a serious couple. You have to use your own judgement. |
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