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| Topic: Self Sabotage or listening to inner voice? | |
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I think that you should dress up, go out, have a great time and using good judgement, decide afterwards. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders and are aware of the pitfalls. At the very least, you will have a night out that hopefully will be very enjoyable! Have fun and let us know how it turned out  Thank you! I certianly will report back... unless we run off and get married!  Joking!!  
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Ah, you're just talking about players. I can only talk about the women that I've met and I've got to admit that them trying to get into my pants isn't something that worries me that much. I tend to attract a particular type of woman though. I mean, if I don't "get anywhere" with them it's basically because they aren't my type, or I'm not theirs. I'm not an American, or a professional. I don't even have my own transport and nobody takes their car into Edinburgh city centre these days anyway. I was talking to someone about the last girl that I met through the internet recently and I was saying how she just met me off a bus and she was fine about coming round to my home after only chatting for about an hour or two. To me that's "normal". It's these paranoid ones with all of their safety precautions and not trusting you enough to just meet for a simple date that are the weirdos. I'm not going to even get a date with those ones anyway though and it doesn't matter how much of a nice guy that I am because if they lead me to think that they like me I'm probably going to think that they want to do more than just drinking coffee and holding hands. It's a funny thing. When I talk to women on the internet they go on about all these guys that are trying to get into their pants and when I meet them, guess what they want to do with me? Tawt  I'm not sure how to take this? Lol Maybe it's because you aren't American which is why your defenses aren't up when a chick wants to meet after 1 or 2 hours of talking with you? I wouldn't feel safe to do that and those ARE the players ( Serial Daters) the ones quick to meet up. The quickest I will meet anyone is 30 days. If you can keep my interest that long, we can see where it goes on a face to face date! It took me three days of chatting, without even trying, to get a date with my last internet woman. She asked me out and I think that it would have been rude to say no. What sort of homo would go on a dating site and turn a woman down when all that she wants to do is to meet and find out what you're like and how you get on? It's the people that would rather chat that I don't trust. People can tell you anything on the internet and you can't get to know somebody properly that way. If a woman just wanted to meet me and wasn't going to insist on emailing for at least a month I would be absolutely delighted. Yeah, after chatting with that girl for only three days it did all seem a bit fast. A bit fast for me even. I can do more chatting in a couple of hours face to face than I can in a whole month of emailing though. If you can talk them into talking on the phone you're already talking about dating. Why not talk about dating? It's what I'm on here for anyway. I've been told before that I'm actually not as pushy as most guys on here though. I tell them what I think they need to know and if they're still interested I ask them out. That doesn't take a month and I need to know if dating is actually possible. If they're making excuses about why they can't meet you and saying that they want to just keep chatting it's unlikely that you are ever going to get a date with them, or are going to find them that reliable if you do start dating them in my experience. Could be because you're American I suppose but where are you getting these dates from? If it's not someone local but if it is? A month? Wow. If I've got nothing better to do it's just a no brainer. Do you know how hard it is to talk a woman from a dating site into meeting you? Oh yeah, thirty days says that you do. Wow. |
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Ah, you're just talking about players. I can only talk about the women that I've met and I've got to admit that them trying to get into my pants isn't something that worries me that much. I tend to attract a particular type of woman though. I mean, if I don't "get anywhere" with them it's basically because they aren't my type, or I'm not theirs. I'm not an American, or a professional. I don't even have my own transport and nobody takes their car into Edinburgh city centre these days anyway. I was talking to someone about the last girl that I met through the internet recently and I was saying how she just met me off a bus and she was fine about coming round to my home after only chatting for about an hour or two. To me that's "normal". It's these paranoid ones with all of their safety precautions and not trusting you enough to just meet for a simple date that are the weirdos. I'm not going to even get a date with those ones anyway though and it doesn't matter how much of a nice guy that I am because if they lead me to think that they like me I'm probably going to think that they want to do more than just drinking coffee and holding hands. It's a funny thing. When I talk to women on the internet they go on about all these guys that are trying to get into their pants and when I meet them, guess what they want to do with me? Tawt I'm not sure how to take this? Lol Maybe it's because you aren't American which is why your defenses aren't up when a chick wants to meet after 1 or 2 hours of talking with you? I wouldn't feel safe to do that and those ARE the players ( Serial Daters) the ones quick to meet up. The quickest I will meet anyone is 30 days. If you can keep my interest that long, we can see where it goes on a face to face date! It took me three days of chatting, without even trying, to get a date with my last internet woman. She asked me out and I think that it would have been rude to say no. What sort of homo would go on a dating site and turn a woman down when all that she wants to do is to meet and find out what you're like and how you get on? It's the people that would rather chat that I don't trust. People can tell you anything on the internet and you can't get to know somebody properly that way. If a woman just wanted to meet me and wasn't going to insist on emailing for at least a month I would be absolutely delighted. Yeah, after chatting with that girl for only three days it did all seem a bit fast. A bit fast for me even. I can do more chatting in a couple of hours face to face than I can in a whole month of emailing though. If you can talk them into talking on the phone you're already talking about dating. Why not talk about dating? It's what I'm on here for anyway. I've been told before that I'm actually not as pushy as most guys on here though. I tell them what I think they need to know and if they're still interested I ask them out. That doesn't take a month and I need to know if dating is actually possible. If they're making excuses about why they can't meet you and saying that they want to just keep chatting it's unlikely that you are ever going to get a date with them, or are going to find them that reliable if you do start dating them in my experience. Could be because you're American I suppose but where are you getting these dates from? If it's not someone local but if it is? A month? Wow. If I've got nothing better to do it's just a no brainer. Do you know how hard it is to talk a woman from a dating site into meeting you? Oh yeah, thirty days says that you do. Wow. Yup.... 30 full days... in between that time we live our lives and We can talk on the phone. Like I mentioned before... WAY too many Serial daters online , if he is interested in getting to know me... he will know me! If he likes my picture... great. But I want him to like ALL OF ME! Sitting across from him over a dinner table won't enhance that. |
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I havent online dated in years.. however i find it best to not get so spun on someone before you meet them.. and just go as friends.
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Wow..you are waiting until AFTER you agreed to
the date to begin wondering? I like Button's advice, keep it cool until you know more. |
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This is where I'm nervous about being a saboteur!
 He's cool... Been talking to him for a while but finally hanging out I don't want to freak him out by being overly cautious about every little move he makes. Like I said... I have a tendency to psycho analyze:( |
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Just be coool... u knw him bettter than anyone heree... go thinking you r going for dinner... who knows it myt turn into a date
.. else have dinner n be back.... |
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I havent online dated in years.. however i find it best to not get so spun on someone before you meet them.. and just go as friends. Online dating is not that bad either. .. give it a try |
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We're all cereal daters until we meet the right person. Either that or you just give up.
When it doesn't work out it can be for all sorts of reasons and there are two sides to every story. I say that it's because these women have trust issues and you say that you don't really trust men and want to call all of the shots and make them jump through hoops until they somehow prove themselves. Yes, I think that you may well be sabotaging your love life. I've had women giving me all of that crap about how they aren't slappers and that no way would they meet a guy that they had only been chatting with for a month, even though they told me that they liked me and did want to meet me. Last time I had one of them pulling that shite on me do you know what happened? Another girl just came along that didn't play those games and I got a date. Don't kid yourself that actually meeting doesn't make any difference because it does. I might have gone along with that internet tease and even allowed myself to get sucked in so that I had feelings for somebody that I had never even met but that all went right out of the window when I got a date with a real woman that didn't treat me like that. |
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Edited by
Aquadave
on
Tue 12/03/13 07:54 PM
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Don't over think it. I like short encounters for the fist meeting. don't expect anything that way it can only grow or nothing loss no big deal
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tank u ma for all d advice.
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