Topic: What am I doing wrong???
wellscameron22's photo
Sun 11/24/13 01:06 PM
I have joined 3 or 4 dating sites looking for a new special somebody filling out all my profile on most of them but giving enough information to at least post interest but not one person has taken any interest in getting to know me am i just that undesirable or am i doing something wrong all i want is the chance to have love in my life sad2

I welcome any advice thanks everyone.

no photo
Sun 11/24/13 01:10 PM
Welcome to the club. It is impossible to know how realistic this is. For one thing , I get people expressing some interest but they live thousands of K away. How stupid is that?

no photo
Sun 11/24/13 01:16 PM
All your profile says is that you're a nice guy and you want someone special. I'm pretty sure all of the guys on here feel the same way. What makes you unique? Do you have any talents or interests that would make you stand out in a crowd? Maybe a prospective woman would email you if she saw you shared an interest in coffee or movies or music, but the way it is now, it's as if you don't really do anything.

On a site like this, where there are literally hundreds, maybe thousands of people, you have to make your profile interesting. And telling people to email you to ask about you is not a good idea, in my opinion; it would make more sense to give them reasons to talk about what's already on your profile, instead of making up questions to start a conversation.

You also need more photos. Good luck to you.

FLIGHTPHOENIX's photo
Sun 11/24/13 01:19 PM
hello don't take to heart it's that some people are blind to see the good in people it only takes one word to turn them away an a million to try an catch that right fish that likes fart a**ing around lol.

FLIGHTPHOENIX's photo
Sun 11/24/13 01:24 PM

All your profile says is that you're a nice guy and you want someone special. I'm pretty sure all of the guys on here feel the same way. What makes you unique? Do you have any talents or interests that would make you stand out in a crowd? Maybe a prospective woman would email you if she saw you shared an interest in coffee or movies or music, but the way it is now, it's as if you don't really do anything.

On a site like this, where there are literally hundreds, maybe thousands of people, you have to make your profile interesting. And telling people to email you to ask about you is not a good idea, in my opinion; it would make more sense to give them reasons to talk about what's already on your profile, instead of making up questions to start a conversation.

You also need more photos. Good luck to you.
nicely said

wellscameron22's photo
Sun 11/24/13 01:24 PM
well most interests are not that amazing just the normal stuff for most people and i cant really say i have achieved anything i live a pretty regular life any ideas on what i could do to try and make the regular boring me seem more interesting or fun

no photo
Sun 11/24/13 01:34 PM
Even the mundane is better than saying nothing. If you like to sit at home and read, say that on your profile, maybe someone is looking for someone else who enjoys quiet evenings at home with a good book. If you're not into partying the night away, list that on your profile. Anything is better than nothing, in this instance.

My point is, you don't have to wow people, but you have to give them a reason to want to talk to you. I might look at 50 profiles in one day. If 49 of them are just one photo and the direction to email them if I want to know more, and then I stumble upon one that says he likes watch horror movies, can't cook so he eats chips all day, reads Stephen King novels religiously and has a thing for cat memes on Facebook, that's the guy I'm going to email. You don't have to be snazzy, just put something down.

And more pics is always interesting, I love scrolling through people's photos...contrary to what men think, women are visual creatures, too.

wellscameron22's photo
Sun 11/24/13 01:38 PM
ok thanks for all the help :) will probs update my profile to night

no photo
Sun 11/24/13 01:38 PM
Anytime....flowerforyou

wellscameron22's photo
Sun 11/24/13 02:04 PM
I updated my profile let me know if its any better if you have time.

PacificStar48's photo
Sun 11/24/13 02:05 PM
Edited by PacificStar48 on Sun 11/24/13 02:19 PM
If you have been on 3-4 sites and having the same dismal results it makes me wonder if you have actually read and tried to incorporate the wealth of information that exists on writing a successful profile. Would you make a microwave meal without reading the instructions, try to take a test you were not prepared for, or repair a car without the needed skills?

Online profiles have a specific purpose and generally a specific target. I am not sure yours OP or your companion's profile is doing that.

Certainly not in a way that is going to engage enthusiasm to communicate with you or eventually date you.

Have either of you said anything particularly offensive? No. And neither are your photos. But the vibe is stand offish and even negative and neither of you make real eye contact which makes you kind of "invisible".

It is hopeful that seeing the problem will motivate you to fix the problem. That does not mean lie about who you are or where you are in life but to present it in marketable format.

Example: Both of you are on opposite ends of the career mellinium. One starting and one soon to retire. When a woman wants to know what you do, plan to do, or did in your profession it is not always to disqualify you but to have a better understanding of your situation, dreams, and day to day reality, or life experiences. God forbid a place to jump off a conversation about what you do with the majority of your waking time.

It is rare that someone is totally with out even a modest hope of employment, or never worked; even if it to be a student. You have a job in life even if it is being a dishwasher for your Granny, self driven study at the public library, or doing sweep jobs at the local pub for a beer lol .

Same goes for someone retiring. Yea you may be wondering what the heck next and your identity at least you have a past to chat about even if it is to joke about what a relief it is to be "free" and which character on TV your old job reminds you off.

Good Luck. Welcome to Mingle.

P.S. Checked your update and it is significantly better. Under profession you can ham it up a bit try "Bill Gates in training."

You have the same issue I have in that when you smile you tend to close your eyes. It will take a few try's but keep doing self snaps different days when you have different outfits on and you by luck of the draw probably get some wider eye shots. Tip look up above about a foot and out about two from the camera lens and Smile. If you have to set a mirror there ok but if it makes you self conscious bag it. What people often forget is for EVERY great award winning picture there are thousands of wanna be's. Thankfully with digital it is cheap and practice does make perfect.

TawtStrat's photo
Sun 11/24/13 02:25 PM

I updated my profile let me know if its any better if you have time.


I've read worse and you sort of get your personality across, which is the main thing I think.

Just my opinion but the bit where you say that you are genuine etc is a bit cheesy and when I've tried that aproach with profiles I didn't really get much in the way of responses either.

no photo
Sun 11/24/13 02:43 PM

I updated my profile let me know if its any better if you have time.


Much better.drinker

Lost_in_reverie's photo
Sun 11/24/13 03:29 PM

well most interests are not that amazing just the normal stuff for most people and i cant really say i have achieved anything i live a pretty regular life any ideas on what i could do to try and make the regular boring me seem more interesting or fun


As Paintecards says, just describe what you do like. Talk about the films or books you enjoy, the types of places you go if you do go out, the music you listen to... If you want to go wild, you could start adding random information like your favourite season (and why), if you have an dreams/ambitions you want to fulfil, where you see yourself being in 5 or 10 years... think outside the box, give people reasons to start a conversation with you (or reply to messages you send).

Believe me, messages that just read "Hi, how are you?" don't really catch a person's attention.

Best of luck!

no photo
Sun 11/24/13 03:46 PM


well most interests are not that amazing just the normal stuff for most people and i cant really say i have achieved anything i live a pretty regular life any ideas on what i could do to try and make the regular boring me seem more interesting or fun


As Paintecards says, just describe what you do like. Talk about the films or books you enjoy, the types of places you go if you do go out, the music you listen to... If you want to go wild, you could start adding random information like your favourite season (and why), if you have an dreams/ambitions you want to fulfil, where you see yourself being in 5 or 10 years... think outside the box, give people reasons to start a conversation with you (or reply to messages you send).

Believe me, messages that just read "Hi, how are you?" don't really catch a person's attention.

Best of luck!


:thumbsup:

jacktrades's photo
Sun 11/24/13 04:15 PM
You seem like a very nice,smart, well rounded young man. If I where you I would take these women's advice and be patient, your young romance will come your way,until then look for work while you study computers because you will need a few dollars for dating.Good luck in your search.