One of the occupational hazards that I have come across is that after a while you can actually start treating people as human beings. It has a tendency to make one vulnerable. I will be damned if I didn't mess up and call another male aide "hon". One of the female aides had tried to warn me when she was me teaching the profession of my job. I was fortunate that the male aide and his wife have been in the profession for 13 years. It is so strange how it came into effect. I was just doing my job and tried to get to know the people I was taking care of and then one day it hit me that I actually care about these people. It is so strange because it has had an effect with how I relate with people. I was just curious if others have came across this gentling effect.

house is looking for you

report to his office

Aw, heck. I am in trouble, again. Oh, well. What else is new? If you see house before I do tell him I am on my way.

Well, you know, Robin that I have had so many jobs that have dealt with products. You just move as fast as you can to shove it out the door. But with dealing with people is different especially old people. I have found that people can talk back to you but products don't have feelings. The pace is so much slower. It is weird dealing with people because you are doing your job and your job starts talking to you. It is kind of like talking to an android while you are building him and the android asks you if you need help in building him.

i can kinda understand that

now thats scary

Its funny but I was talking to my job and telling my job if it would cooperate that things would go a lot smoother. It works sometimes but at other times my job argues with me. That slows me down and sometimes I have to show my job compassion. Sometimes it is frustrating because I have other jobs to do. Products are so much easier to deal with people sometimes.

i can relate Roy.I work at an assisted living and though not an LNA ,you do grow attached to some of the residents.After all you spend half your day with them and they are as vulnerable as children but with adult minds.My favorite has passed on and there is not a day I don't think of him....RIP Ralph.

It is something, Jax. I have got attached to several. I have found that dealing with grief on a personal level and dealing with grief on a professional level to be somewhat similiar. We just had the grief seminar last month. My friend, Lisa has really helped me to deal with it. She tells me not to get attached but sometimes it can't be helped. Seeing the funeral parlor right across the street from the nursing home really gets to me sometimes. It seems like a processing station. Fighting not to be indifferent is a real battle at times like the movie we saw, "Bathing without a battle". I had spent a lot of time with John. Here he was praying and dealing with dementia. Some go peaceably and others it is different. I have had to rethink what my thoughts are on nice. They are all nice and then the dementia hits. I know that John is not in pain now.

Roy, being 'professional', doesn't that mean, caring for the patient's needs?

Isn't emotion a need?

How can one care for another's needs, without 'seeing' them, as individual people, quirky, and sometimes off the chart?

Having a gentled heart, a softened heart, doesn't take away from your professionalism...it enhances it.

I have felt enhanced, Jess from my dealings with these people. There is my home and there is the nursing home. I have to keep the two terms separate in my mind. Jax was mentioning the childrenlike people with adult minds. I also have to deal with the childrenlike people with childlike minds who are of adult age. It is weird to me when a twentyfive year old nurse helps me to deal with a fourtysix child. She tells me she has a child just like her at home who is five. Or a twentythree year old child who looks like goldilocks. Sometimes I have to go to a lot of meetings with my so called normal friends just to deal with it. Man does have an effect on how you view things.

Knowing of you, Roy and Jax, through almost a year now, I can say with confidence, if I was a patient; within either of the homes that you both work in, I would be blessed...

Just the very thoughts you share here, and the dichotomies you sometimes find yourself in, shows me how much you both 'care' for your patients.

They are blessed, your patients, that you work there.

Thanks, Jess. That is nice coming from you. It is kind of like a magic the effect it can have on you. It makes you a lot more openminded about a lot of things. I have had to reevaluate much.

Hmm...I don't know if this "gentling affect" pertains only to men in "caring professions". I think it's something that happens to all of us as gain wisdom over time. I think we start to realize how fragile life is and how truly interconnected we are with one another. Our hearts start to open and we can't help but love one another in spite of all our flaws and differences. I certainly don't think there's anything wrong with this at all!

Good point, Bay. Been thinking of writing of an article called ,"How I Made It Through Life Without A Cell Phone." Have been experiencing the interaction between a male aide and female charge nurse. Every time he is conversing with her he purposely tries to get her goat. I was even feeling sorry for her. Then I noticed instead of her getting upset about it that she was out to get his goat. Last night I think she was getting to him because his wife was working the floor and she knows all of his idiosyncrasies. His wife is an aide, too. Having lived with him for 13 years she knew him pretty well. The two ladies joined forces against him. So then he says isn't that Roy trying to get me into it to agree with him. He said don't you dare agree with her, the nurse. The nurse said don't you dare agree with him. She wanted it three against one instead of two against two. I am thinking hey don't get me mixed into this because I am just trying to mind my own business. I told the nurse damned if you and damned if you don't. The nurse agreed with me. She said it is like that sometimes. Other nights it is like the nurses and aides are all on the cell phones and it gets real quiet.

yikes

Surprising enough the male aide is helping me to be the build the confidence back in myself. He is a very confident person. The nurse because of him is more confident. The wife has always been impressed by his confidence. What surprised me is when the wife who loves her husband very much just confided in me the other night that she just wished he would show his feelings. She said it would make their marriage better. I think that is why she wanted to take his ego down a notch or two by siding with the nurse instead of siding with him. She is intrigued by the way he reacts to the nurse.

My ex was a NA and she would invite me to have lunch with her at the nursing home she worked at..
many visits there and seeing how ALL the NA's, Nurses and DR.'s treated them older folks,,,was,,,,scary at times..
I hope you will KEEP being "caring" in your professions, because,.
Some "PEOPLE" in these professions act and GET what I call
CALLICED, about the patients,,,ITS AN UN-CARING SENSE ABOUT THEM?? I told my EX that some of these workers NEED to FIND another job,,,because of there I DON'T GIVE A SH_T ATTATUDE...

SOME made me SICK, as they would act as though the patient
wasn't even yelling or even THERE!!!

So to have a gently effect, IS REALLY COOL TO HAVE...

If I ever get into any kind of a care center,,I can ONLY hope and PRAY that the WORKERS THERE, "ALL" carry and FEEL this NICE EFFECT!!!!!!

One of my best trainers was this little four year old girl when she told her mother who is an aide; "Gee, mom there is a grandma is almost every room." It can be easy to get indifferent if the job gets to you. Have to see them as people. I can remember the days when restraints and medications was the way to deal with old folks. A lot of aides buckle under the strain. The movie "Patch Adams" is really revelant to nursing homes. Being callous can seem like the soft and easier way. One does have to deal with one's feelings and I guess different people deal with it in different ways. I have seen what you are mentioning.