The last batch got such a nice reception, I thought maybe it was time to do another. Again, these are actual snips from actual profiles from other sites, with my own commentary below each one.

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Well hello there! I am almost 22 but going on 35. I'm such an old soul but I'm full of energy. I can enjoy a good (interesting) conversation with a spectacular bottle of wine over dinner.

You can’t count, and you’re so drunk that you talk to bottles. Yeah, that’ll work....

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I HAVE A TWO YEAR OLD SON NAMED LEONARDO. I WORK AS A FULL TIME MAKE UP ARTIST IN LOMBARD. I LOVE MY JOB. I AM LOOKING FOR SOMEONE THAT IS PUT TOGETHER

“Assembly Not Required,” that sort of thing?

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I am a mother of 1. I am looking for someone who does not play games. I am not only looking for someone for me I also have my daughter to think about.

Let her find her own guy.

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i am kinndof stuck in my own ways and am very open minded

They really shouldn’t let politicians use these sites.

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i dont like people that are despirate or act despirate

Or who can spell “desperate”....

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I LOVE TO DANCE HANG OUT SOMETIME LIKE GO TO THE MOVIES GO TO PARTYS SO I WILL LOVE TO MEET A GUY THAT MEETS MY STANDER

I hope Stander is your dog....

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I AM VERY LAID BACK,LOOKING FOR A FRIEND THAT I CANTALK TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH.I LIKE TO COOK READ LISTEN TO MUSIC AND READ GOSSIP MAGAZINES. I AM A FAIRLY ATTRACTIVE WOMAN WHO HAS A VERY VULUMPTIOUS BODY.I AM A NICE PERSON WHO SPEAKS HER MIND WHEN NEEDED.

As long as you’re vulumptious, that’s all that really matters....

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I love to sleep and I can fall alseep anytime anywhere. Of course I have a potty mouth but I know when to control it.

narcolepticdating.com

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I am192 and have a 42d chest looking for couples and girls to have sex i am in chicago. Illinois

I keep telling you, age is only a number.

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i am the color of caramel and mexican yellow put together most people refer to me as a tasty waffle.

That’ll change once you get out of Cannabalism School.

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I'm not realy sure how to go about this.

Call Tech Support.

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I have 200 dogs I love them but they just dont talk back to me.

David Berkowitz can help you with that one.

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iam different and i think god made me these way for a resion, iam ready to start a a new begging an a new life ,by taking chances and i thing beening in a relisionship,but iaming welling to,just because i get my heart broking twice with in the past 2years,but i not one that stays down for long,but once i bounce back to my ownself you would feel in love,i rember when i met these boy just about 3weeks ago and he had so many secerts but thing about was we rush thing and the very next day he told me he love me ,because we click so while but then afert a while he only came around for sex like iwont going to found out.but when i ask him to buy me something to eat he change the sudjects,just then i saw past his charm an saw right throw him.so no matter how slick u think ur iam 10 steps ahead of you.

I think it’s time you went back to your own dimension.

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I am a blond who loves having a good time with friends and family. I really like birds for some reason, I am afraid of slugs and spiders.

Very few spiders on this site; can’t say for sure about the slugs, though.

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I don't like to do that much stuff. Exercise is hard. I like chairs and sitting.

Finally! An honest person!

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I don't know what to say so. I'm a mother that don't want any games. If your gona act like a child i'll treat you like one. I have children so i don't want an adult that acts like one. I like movies,reading, going on walks. I am a mother first no matter what. My children are the world to me. I would like someone that is true to himself. That love kids and respect his mother. I don't care how you look or how much money you make. I am a big woman and if you don't like that you lose. I'm not like big and can't walk just a lot to hold on to big. Well if you like what you see you know what to do.

Yes’m. Can I go out in the back yard and play with my G.I. Joes now?

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I think this is a great way to meet different people I hope it works.

Maybe you should see if it works before you decide it’s a great way to meet people.

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well my name is tracy. i am a school teacher in chicago. and in my spear time i like to fix cars. my friends say i am funny and out going nice to be around and just looking for the right man..

A teacher? You fix cars in your “spear time”? Chicago school system? Ah, that explains it.

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lol
love it

spear?

oh my!!!!

So Lex, what did you get out of all of this by puuting it on here?

I just think it's funny, that's all. It's a commentary on the absurdity of the whole on line dating scenario (as well as one on the state of American literacy). If you have issues with it, no one is forcing you to read it.

That last one was funny...maybe she actually spears cars for practice

lmao lex!!!!
please stay outa my profile!! teeheehee..

izzy LOL

or maybe she is related to britney spares!!

No issues with it. it just shows me where ones mind is actually at.

What wrong Shadow? a person is not allowed to make light of sometimes a rather tough situation huh?

Sorry it is not heavy and sometimes rather boring like yours.

shadow---
i never judge where anyone's mind is at because i am sure mine has been there sometime or another.
no names mentioned--and it is funny.
why? because it is life

whisper, I wouldn't throw stones in a glass house.

Nurjoyce, It was just me being curious. thats all

okay
that i understand
i am sorry

Shadow, regarding the whole "where my mind is at" concept (which you have no way of knowing anything about in the first place), if you really believe you can glean anything meaningful about a person's overall psyche by a small bit of satire, then I think you may be overanalyzing.

Everybody, without exception, who replied to my original batch of Snippets really enjoyed them, and that's why I posted more. Personally, I don't care if you approve or not; the posts violate no rules, and,as I said, everyone else seems to enjoy them.

You're not a censor for the site, as far as I know, and
for you to malign me the way you did, for something that was intended to be simply fun and playful, tells me you have far more serious issues to deal with.

Good ones, Lex. I am still stuck on 200 dogs, wow, wouldn't want that dog food bill, OR to clean that yard, YIKES!!!!

Oh what are you going to do Shadow? bring up my other profile again? Just cause you have nothing else? You say in your profile that you want people to keep it real. Well is this real enough for yea?

R O T F L M A O !!!!



"i am kinndof stuck in my own ways and am very open minded

They really shouldn’t let politicians use these sites. "



Thank you Lex, keep the coming