The following are entries to a contest by The Washington Post, in which respondents had to write a two-line romantic poem...except that the last line had to be as un-romantic as the first line was romantic.

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you because I was pissed.

5. I thought that I could love no other--
that is, until I met your brother.

6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

7. I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

9. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "Go to hell."

11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

vey cute tbg

i must agree they are cute

Hi candycane, welcome to the threads

I ate some cheese, I ate a chip.
I enjoyed my chip with a dab of dip.

Dating you was really great.
That was, until I met your hot friend, Nate.

very good and very funny

I want to smile. I really do.
But I can't. I just stepped in dog doo doo.

sorry, but

I jumped up high then hit the floor.
Now my a** is really sore.

I sway to the left and wiggle to the right.
Got a tingle in my pants and it feels outta sight! LOL

I eat my peas with honey, I've done it all my life.
It makes the peas taste funny, but it keeps them on the knife.

Ding dong Dell p*ssies in the well
We put some disinfectant in cos we can't stand the smell.

Mary had a little lamb. she kept it in a bucket
she also had a little dog that kept on trying to f*ck it.

I must go down to the sea again, to the lonely sea and sky.
I left my shirt and socks there. I wonder if they're dry.

The sun is shining brightly. It's warm upon my back.
I'm feeling kinda hungry now. Could it be a Big Mac attack?

Drake is sailing West lads. Columbus sailing East
While Little Johhny stays in bed, the lazy little beast

Tom

Mary Mary quite contrary how does your garden grow?
Upwards you dumb bastard!