Well, if this is as profound as it gets, you're in big trouble.

This "white light" thing happened to me twice in life.

Once when I was still under anaesthetic, in hospital, it felt like I had literally been dropped from high up, onto my bed, because I felt my body drop onto it. I felt my eye's go into the back of my head, but it didn't hurt. You could just feel it. I felt a floating sensation, and felt my body disconnect from itself, and felt I was both in my body, and out of my body, both at the same time. One of me was literally watching the other me who was asleep on the bed. This has also happened at home once before, too. Gotta admit, although it was scary, I also found it fascinating.


Oh, and I've had quite a few abdominal hernia's, over the last few years. I thought I'd been stabbed in my left side at first. It just hurt so much. You don't notice it coming on, either, but then the pain just gets worse, and you feel nauseus, then your breathing gets laboured. If a pain like that, doesn't humble you, then hell, because I'm not sure anything much else could. I was honestly crying like a baby. You'll definitely know you have one if you get one. And people wonder why I look pale

When I was 13, riding in the car with my Dad,
my older, bothersome sister in the back seat,
Daddy said, 'What do you girls want from Santa
this year?'

My sister piped up, 'You might as well tell her
now that there IS no Santa.'

I laughed, what a dummy she was.
Everyone knew that if you did not believe in Santa,
there were no presents from him on Christmas morning.

'Tell her, Daddy', I suggested confidently.

Extended pause here.

'Daddy? TELL her!'

And I knew.
It had simply never occurred to me there
was no Santa Claus.

What kind of world would allow you to pretend that
there was someone who granted all your wishes,
consistently, all through your childhood..he was
the MAN! Fake?

It was the moment I suddenly felt..older.
Devastated, losing trust, perception versus reality.
It was like a death.
I mourn him still.

My horrid sister started to say something about
the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny as we exited
the car, but I closed my ears.
That was all I could take in funeral mode.

Yes, every day!