Topic: Using people for self confidence
Simonedemidova's photo
Mon 09/30/13 09:10 PM
Sometimes it seems like a person say they single for awhile. And when they finally meet someone nice who is interested, it builds their confidence and they go out trying to meet more people. Like I have an ugly friend and she finally got a boyfriend, and then she cheated on him. Some people date other people after they are taken but when they were single no one wanted to date them. Does this make sense?


no photo
Mon 09/30/13 09:16 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyP-7ulafFQ

drinker

markc48's photo
Mon 09/30/13 09:20 PM
Not everything makes sense.

Simonedemidova's photo
Mon 09/30/13 09:21 PM
Thanks just for that I had to update my you tube, re sign into google....sheeze just o be depressed.

Simonedemidova's photo
Mon 09/30/13 09:22 PM
I've dated guys with lower self esteem before and then they got all cocky after I gave them a chance so I dump them. Not everyone is so generous.

sybariticguy's photo
Mon 09/30/13 10:25 PM

Sometimes it seems like a person say they single for awhile. And when they finally meet someone nice who is interested, it builds their confidence and they go out trying to meet more people. Like I have an ugly friend and she finally got a boyfriend, and then she cheated on him. Some people date other people after they are taken but when they were single no one wanted to date them. Does this make sense? Yes people often use others to boost their self esteem as the more interest and desirable they feel the more loved they believe themselves to be and ultimately simply betray all in pursuit of an illusion... Men and women both share this human frailty...



ridewytepony's photo
Mon 09/30/13 10:33 PM
Edited by ridewytepony on Mon 09/30/13 10:44 PM
I can't say I've used woman for self esteem,for sex and sometimes
the company but good sex and the fact that she wants it is a confidence
booster, and you attract what you put off, if you think they will like you, with your conviction, and undeniable confidence in return will attracts a fair percentage thus causing a snowballing affect
One won't likely have the same confidence after a long dry spell.
For me woman can make you or break you in terms of confidence
but if "everything you 'touch'turns to gold" your going to touch everything you can, if I'm not serious about someone that is.
I have had girlfriend that have helped me get over
other girlfriends but that's not why I got with then
but appreciated then for that in the end.

I'm a man, I use for sex and the confidence just follows
and I don't have a problem if a woman that I'm attracted to, wants to use me for the same.:wink:

MariahsFantasy's photo
Mon 09/30/13 11:13 PM
Like a vampire most crave that adoration of being liked/loved like a drug. Hence the withdraws.

dcastelmissy's photo
Tue 10/01/13 04:12 AM
Using people to fulfill any kind of self-deceit issue within yourself in my book is totally wrong no matter what the reason.

kg0626's photo
Tue 10/01/13 05:05 AM
They always try to drag you in their ****... so you lower yours. Being there.

4evababy's photo
Tue 10/01/13 05:55 AM

Sometimes it seems like a person say they single for awhile. And when they finally meet someone nice who is interested, it builds their confidence and they go out trying to meet more people. Like I have an ugly friend and she finally got a boyfriend, and then she cheated on him. Some people date other people after they are taken but when they were single no one wanted to date them. Does this make sense?




Been there was used for an ego boost so he could have the confidence to approach other women

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Tue 10/01/13 08:52 AM
Had a similar thing with my ex.
It wasn't a conscious decision to use me though. It just happened that way: I liked him, thought he was funny, interesting, cute, so quite logical that he started to feel better about himself and started to interact differently with others too. And yes, the result can be that two ppl, who went through that, fall out because of it. But it doesn't mean he meant to use me to boost his ego.
Most of the time ppl get together to learn from each other (goes for friends as well) and sometimes you fall out once the 'lesson' has been learnt.

krupa's photo
Tue 10/01/13 05:56 PM
Ugly people who cheat....is this actually a suprize?

They are ugly.

Beautiful people do beautiful things...they love, they care, they laugh and smile...they try to make life better.

Ugly people b!t*h and gripe...they want everyone to feel as ugly as them.

.They hit Walmart in sweats and Crocs...the last time a brush touched their hair was a week ago....they talk crap like a sailor on leave in Singapore...and their house smells like a cat box that an 800 pound tiger just dripped a deuce.

Of course...the ugly people will never clue into the fact that this thread is actually about them....they ain't that bright.

It is a no win.

Simonedemidova's photo
Tue 10/01/13 07:16 PM

Had a similar thing with my ex.
It wasn't a conscious decision to use me though. It just happened that way: I liked him, thought he was funny, interesting, cute, so quite logical that he started to feel better about himself and started to interact differently with others too. And yes, the result can be that two ppl, who went through that, fall out because of it. But it doesn't mean he meant to use me to boost his ego.
Most of the time ppl get together to learn from each other (goes for friends as well) and sometimes you fall out once the 'lesson' has been learnt.



That's what I'm saying. I dated a guy once who I felt was attractive and kind....but at first he was very shy and after I give him a lot of attention he was like too cool for school all of this sudden. Just like my ugly girlfriend I was shocked when I first she even had a boyfriend in the first place more shocked when I found out they broke up because she cheated on him....noway I was like damn two guys liked her? what

Jester1534's photo
Wed 10/02/13 01:47 PM
Simone some ppl are just tempted by the situation. Look at it from her eyes, you say she's not very good looking and she has two guys interested in her. She doesn't get that often and it was enticing. For once she had the opportunity to be put in that temptation and she took it and was wrong for doing it. We all have temptations in life we just have learn to say no. As for self confidence, when I'm in a relationship I'm more confident, idk why but when I'm I just feel more relaxed.

metalwing's photo
Wed 10/02/13 03:09 PM
It's partially just math. In the real world it is sometimes caused "feast or famine". You will not have the opportunity to meet someone compatible every six points three months if you are ugly or six point three days if you are beautiful. It is just luck given the general same habits.

So if you meet someone there is a good chance you will meet someone else soon ... not wait till the exact moment in the future when you want to meet someone again.

If you are a cheater and you have someone, then meet someone new ...

you cheat.