I could use a spot of advice. I used to think that I was normal, now I'm not too sure. I, for as long as I can remember, have wanted one woman and one woman only. I've never been into the "party scene" and I have tried to be respectfull to women my entire life (even if they want me to be otherwise). I havn't made the mistake of confusing love with lust, they have always been very clear in my head. I've put a lot of thought into what love is, why relationships fail and what is neccessary to make them work. I recently ran into a huge snag though. I met and subsequently fell in love with a woman that I though for sure was the one. She presented herself as a mature and intelligent woman, someone who had there stuff together. Over the course of the 10 month relationship stories would trickle out about her past (she would usually tell them to me thinking that it would turn me on). It turns out that every male friend she has had she slept with and keeps pictures of. She has tried every form of sexual experimentation (lesbianism, two guys at once, guy and girl at same time, violent bondage, and she had oral with a dog!). These stories leaked out at a rate that gave me time to address the issue with her, get over it, then another would come along, despite my repeated attempts to tell her how sick it made me. I litterally threw up after every meal with her for four months. She kept in contact with a lot of these people as well. She also kept a diary that was graphic (gave dimensions of the guys she was with). I unfortunatly made the very poor decision to look at it after a particularly bad arguement when she refused to get rid of it. I so badly wanted her to let go of her past and regret doing what she did. She coudn't do it, she thought everything was neccessary for her to learn what not to do. Huh? Am I the only person on the planet that believes that you don't have to experience bad things to know it's wrong? The relationship ended about 6 months ago after she confessed about a lie she told me. I was glad she told me but furious that she would lie to me. I attempted to forgive her but found that I couldn't fully trust her. So now I'm left trying to find someone who's past matches mine (I don't need an exact match, just somewhere in the ball park would be nice). Someone who, like me, has a very high sex drive but does not act on it when not in a long term committed relationship. Some one who doesn't think it neccessary to screw your way around untill "love" finds you or you find it. Someone who even if they can't wishes that I could have been there first. I feel like what takes most people untill they are in there 30's to learn about the difference between fun and happiness I have known since birth. It feels inborn. I am so sensitive to all things even casually related to promiscuity, attention whoring, flirting, and basically everything else that is so prevelent in today's society, that I feel like I'm doomed in the world of dating because I havn't met anyone my age who thinks like this. They are all interested in partying and casual relationships. My god, I swear if I meet one more woman that is so clueless about what love is that they think it's possible to fall in love 15 times in one year I'm going to jump in front of a train. How do people go from one relationship to the next in timespans covering a month or less saying that they love those people? I don't get it. I'm sick of people throwing around that love word. I'm sick of people needing to "find themselves" by sleeping around. Most of all my problem is that I am miserable because I have put so much time and energy into being a "good" man and feel like it is impossible to find a woman who has done the same. I know deep down it is not true, but after a while I just start to think that my life would be a lot easier if I just gave up and stopped caring. I'm not going to but it doesn't look promising. It seems that every woman I find that does have morals, when asked why she does the usual response is that Jesus wants it that way. Isn't that the same mentallity as a three year old who doesn't touch the stove because mommy said so? I'm all for freedom of religion but put some thought into it, understand the why's. I have most likely rambled on without any sense of cohesion in an attempt to get how I feel out there but I hope a glimmer of what I'm trying to say has shown through enough for someone to provide me with some words of wisdom.

moreyd
I truely know how you feel and what you are saying...All of 20 yrs I have been looking for a man that is just that a man but I always get dumped on and thats putting it nicely but all of these years I have always wondered why people are like that I was taught to be faithful and loving but there are people that only want one thing and I just do not know why people can't just slow down and really enjoy who they have in thier lives and life in general...
good luck finding what you are looking for

ok here is my version short and sweet.. unless you want to be alone for the rest of your life...DONT GIVE UP..yes there are still some women out there who want everything you are giving..It is just that we have been hurt by the same type of person that you were.. We want forever and everything that comes along with it,sometimes to scared to let anyone get close, because of the past, or what has been done to us..

Some day you will meet this lady who you want...
and when you do... it will be wonderful!
Your not an old soul- just one that still has morels.

Good advice, angee


I would try to let go of the past hurt and look forward to the infinte opportunties the future holds.

All good things

WOW......

well you where with the WRONG chick!!!! totally !!ew!!
you'll find the right one!!!!!!
I dont know where the people with morals hide cause I am in the same boat .....
all we can do is hope the right one ambles along...
today is not a good day for me to seem to positive on the matter but I just wanted to throw in my two cents worth..
Good luck...

(((Hugs Purple)))