This fellow was going up to bed, when his wife told him he'd left the light on in the garden shed - she could see it from the bedroom window. He said that he hadn't been in the shed that day. He had a look, and there were people in the shed, stealing things.

He rang the police, but they told him that no-one was in his area, so no-one was available to send out immediately. He said ok, hung up, counted to 30 and rang the police again.

"Hello. I just rang you a minute ago because there were people in my shed? Well you don't have to worry about them now, I've just shot them all."

Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars out the front, an Armed Response unit - the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policeman said to this man "I thought you said you'd shot them?"

He replied "I thought you said there was no-one available?"

I thought the one thing to remember when you have burglars is: "It's your fault for having nice stuff."

That would'nt even bring them in my old neighborhood