It almost seems like a joke to me, so many of the REALLY attractive women to me I talk to are uninterested in me, already taken, or mothers... sometimes a combination of those three. The mother thing wouldn't bother me if not for two issues: 1. Children are expensive, I am broke and I know me, I'd feel guilty seeing the girl take care of her offspring without help. 2. I am afraid I may not be able to love a child that isn't mine or when it grows up it won't love me... I don't know these things, but it makes me feel uncomfortable.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for friendships, but I AM primarily here to find someone to have a serious relationship with some day, so it gets kinda awkward talking to a girl when there is a promise that she is not for me.

I don't know, maybe I'm just ranting over nothing... again...

when you witha women that has a child its a package deal if you love the one you with you will love her child too... freind ship to me is what starts it all..

I had to get it off my chest, I do feel better already.

After all the glamor, glitter, puppy love phase fades you need to have that friendship base..with out it you have nothing. You're young yet, you have the time to search and find the right one, why the big rush??

Courts will soon be having "new friends" pay for someone else's offspring. Some already have claimed the friend male as a "new father" and have them paying child support because they are "looked upon" as a father, if the children are young. Good luck.

I don't know, I guess it's part of the looking at my life so far and realizing I've accomplished nothing. Seeing other people my age happily married with kids doesn't help with this.

You're right, I DO have my whole life to accomplish my few and simple goals, I don't know why I need to beat myself up over this...

The wisdom of youth often changes as it ages.

Josh, your views will change with age & experience.
Love isn't about YOU, Love is about being willing to give all for someone else. When both do that, NO PROBLEM is impossible.
Kids are a part of your partner, never a bother.

Wisdom often does come with age, that is to be expected.

Like I said before, I think I was going on about nothing. If I love her, I certainly would love them... I know it's not the same because they are still family, but I love my nieces and nephew and of course they aren't mine...

As for Love, I am disappointed in myself. I thought I was more mature than this, you are right of course love is not about just one of the two, but two at once.

Why do you beat yourself up over being human. Dealing with someone elses children leaves questions today. My ex mother in law used to tell the kids, he is not your father, you do not have to listen to him. So there are outside influences that come into play. Just do not overlook the warning signs. Use your head, not your heart.

I'll be honest here, when I was under 25 i wouldn't even date a woman that had been divorced, let alone have kids. I used to say, I didn't want a second hand wife. When I was 30 I would date a divorcee, but not one with children, saying I wasn't ready to raise my own kids let alone someone else's. Now, I will go out with anyone I find interesting. I've spent some time with some lovely women and some lovely kids in the past couple years. Dude your in your early twenties, your views will change as you age, everyone's does, so don't feel selfish about looking for your ideal. When the time comes that you will enjoy kids, they won't be a problem for you any more.

Roaming, those were wise words. Josh you have time, relax and enjoy the moment, they pass all to quickly

aww :(

Josh don t give up. Keep looking and you will find the one.
I am talking to a few on here and am almost ready to make a decision a to whom I want to date. It takes time and a desire to listen to what they say, show them why they are important to you, and how your life couldn t go on without them.

Josh...

Patience...

true

Women feel the same EXACT way

The attractive guys are either taken, gay, fathers, drug dealers or male whores

Same thing!

I agree with Roaming. I kept opening up my 'dating pool' as I got older, but now I am just happy and waiting for a good connection. If that connection happens to come with kids or other "baggage", then I'll deal with it then.

Don't worry, Joshy. It just sounds like you're having a bad dating moment again. Hang in there!

joshy, I don't mean to be insensitive but at least you know what you DON'T want and that's perhaps someone with kids. Go for what is comfortable in your preferences.