I don't understand why I am looking for someone to love and to love me in return. It has always made me physically sick. I mean, when (in the past) I've fallen for someone, I feel as though my body can't contain/support its self. My limbs turn to jelly, my heart races, sight blurs, all my in-sides feel like they are fighting for space up in my chest and I babble nonsense between trying not to throw-up!

Yet, I crave the companionship, the interaction, even the intercourse... I choose to become broken inside. Were are bodies built for happiness!? If so, why every time I'm on its path, it tries to destroy me! Or am I the only one that suffer the why I describe. Should it be different?

sounds like you have been drinking the water in mexico. stick to the k.i.s.s. rule (keep it simple stupid) and just be yourself in every relationship you are in (both male and female). i guarantee i guarantee that if you treat everyone with love and affection, you won't have such a drastic change in character when you find yourself in a committed relationship

(bulldog double guarantee - patent pending)

Thanks bulldog. I guess being from this side of the pond, I struggle expressing much of anything meaningful, so it churns inside, to the point of meltdown... Unless they are shipping in the water... Anyway, advice taken on board :)

That's what it is though!

You are holding everything in1 It's like being on a roller coaster and you've just started to descend. Some people scream and let all the air out of their lungs. You're talking a deep breath in and forgetting to exhale.

Breathe! Just breathe!

you blokes are the same as us partners here in texas. we all get giddy when we are around a woman that strikes our fancy. you'll be fine bro. just be kind to everyone you meet and life will be a box of fluffy ducks. have a pint for me and i'll have a shot of tequila for you

I think its simply because you are young.. When you get older not much excites you cause it usually ends up in the same old bs lol!! Or perhaps maybe its practice then same ole bs in the end? ha ha!!! well good luck to you.

The bulldog is right.

it maybe too.. that you have too much anxiety?

Sounds like you're not at all grounded and sort of have an out-of-body experience which can be very uncomfortable.
This easily happens when people are insecure, low self-esteem etc. etc. as they tend to not be grounded, which increases being insecure. Kind of a vicious circle you need to break.
If you could & would work on becoming more grounded, you wouldn't have that problem anymore.
Can be achieved several ways, i.e. working on the cause of you're insecurities and low self-esteem or learning how to ground yourself. One way is from the outside in and the other from the inside out. Result is the same

So turn off haha!