Due to a recent new health issue, I had to change my diet and exercise causing me to lose some weight and 6+ inches off my hips, 6+ off my waist and unfortunately around my chest also :(. The changes I made were not to lose weight, it is a by product of the needed changes for my health.

This has caused men who would not normally look my way to show interest.

Now, I would be a complete idiot to accept the attention now when I wasn't good enough in their book when I was bigger.

They need to go and find a woman who didn't love and respect herself enough before the weight change to understand that the new found interest is actually an insult to her. I am the same regardless to what the outer shell looks like. And I am awesome.

I am so glad I had already had contact with someone before the weight loss and we finally connected and are seeing each other now because this would be a big barrier to finding someone now. Especially if I knew them before and they are just now showing an interest.

This shallowness is so ugly....

yes I have experienced the same thing and am totally not interested

Glad to see someone else who understands.

right and actually I have a good deal more to lose....I try not to let that be an overwhelming factor but you are right...I sometimes wonder, why now? why not before?

of course those who never knew me before I lost weight I don;t think about it with

for guys who haven't seen me in a long time I am probably still a little bigger than when they remember me from - when I was still running long distance. I was pretty lanky then but I am determined to get back to normal for health reasons

it;s been tough because I have had to gradually work back up to my normal intensity workouts. not there yet. I will be - stubborn like that...lol

glad to hear u have had some success!

I can see where you are coming from. It works both ways, men get the same situation, you are not alone. But its not just weight, you could win the lottery or gain some sort of celebrity and more attention. We (as people) can be very one dimensional and shallow. Try not to paint everyone with the same brush though. You may get more attention now you have lost weight, that has no reflection on you as a person. Weather they find you more physical pleasing now, it is still irrelevant if you don't like the person. I'm happy you have someone (that's stood by you from before) but if things don't work out, would you remain forever single or give one of these (maybe unknowingly) shallow people a try? At the end of the day, we could all look like brad pitt or angilina, its what's in the inside that counts, that's the hook! the bait is superficial. I'm sure you find some individuals attractive over others, you don't stop to think maybe he's just lost weight and therefore is off bounds. Just don't feel less of a beautiful human or less worthy because of a self imposed hurdle. Some of those men will be better people than you expect

hmmmm after I win the lottery I will defintely think about your comments..lol

since I will never be a celeb I don;t worry about that

Hiya Willow.

Your health is so much more important than any of that crap anyway. I hope your health is good now.

My best friend has always been a super hot stud in my book, but women never seemed to notice him. Two "get fit or die trying" years and 50lbs later, he had two women lusting after him that he's had crushes on in the past...but who'd never gave him a second thought before he grew a six pac and big guns.

This leaves him with the fear that he has bad taste in women....cause he really really liked both of those gals.

So he collects phone numbers he never calls.

A human is, for the most part, 90% animal, 10% person. Those of us who do perform some degree of introspection sometimes find ourselves seeing someone who at first glance "doesn't look attractive". For me, extreme embarrassment follows when I learn later on after meeting said person that in reality, they are very attractive. I hate it, and I try my best not to do it, but if I am not actively paying attention, I still do. Shameful, but true.

Yeah. People think I'm thin because I want to be, but that isn't how it is. lol. I keep trying to gain more weight, but because I have a small stomach, it never seems to happen. Give me curves any day. Even if it's just a bit of muscle. I will never want to look like an anorexic barbie doll. There is so much more to me than that?

Oh, and as for Angelina Jolie, I find her to be to into herself. Posing is the only thing she seems to when she has a movie to plug. And Brad? What's so great about him? . People always mention the same old hollywood star's, but are they honestly all that?

Good to hear you achieved your goal in loosing weight improving your health. A change in appearance does have an effect on how others see you, and can have an effect on your relationship.

A long time ago, I had neighbours and friends both early 30s with no children, where the wife went on a diet and lost weight, she went from what you would describe as slightly overweight, to very trim. Within the year she had found another man and had walked out, and her husband told me that he believed it was because she had lost weight. Apparently, they had been childhood sweethearts and she had always been a little overweight, and he believed she was unable to handle all the new attention she received from men that she had never received before, resulting in her going off with another guy. I know his comments were bias, he had lost his wife to another man, but it did seem to me to have a ring of truth because I had known them for a few years and they previously seemed very happy, it came as a shock to me when I learnt she had left him.

Yep, people can be judgemental about weight. I work out and take good care of myself but men still think I am fat. Oh well; don't give a crap either way as if they don't like my age anyways; so being thinner isn't going to make a difference either.

Is attraction or repulsion to physical traits that shallow? We may be sensitive to race or body type, but isn't this more deep than the hobbies we like and the things we do for a living?

Isnt this human attraction just like before our superficial social paradigms popped up.

So , now that you look healthier, men think that you may be healthy enough to be active with them? Is that what you are talking about?

I wish. No. They are now seeing me for the first time. Ignored me before.

I bet you're a christian. Despisers of the body.

Many men are visual and have preferences for thin women. So, it is just a preference. Many women have preferences of not fat men, etc.

That above-quoted comment makes no sense.

Yea that is funny. Pretty far from being christian.

It is shallow regardless. If I wasn't good enough bigger I sure as hell don't have the time of day for ya thinner.

And Christians are not despisers of the body.