My guy and I have been together since the beginning of the year. Things have been great- he is amazing and makes me happier than I ever thought possible. It has been a little rough lately because his job has become more demanding and has taken more of his time, so it has been tougher to get time together. In the past few weeks, it has felt to me as if I was getting the brush off to an extent, but I chalked it up to his being busy at work, and having friends in town for the race. When we did finally get to see each other, I mentioned he had been quiet lately (we usually talk/ text a bit throughout the day). He said he had been thinking a lot about the future, and about us. He stated he felt like he needed to evaluate his level of commitment to this relationship, and feels as though we have plateaued and he isn’t sure how to progress from here. He said he cares about me, and enjoys the time we spend together, and he knows how much I care about him, but he doesn’t want to get farther down the road and be getting more serious and then realize this isn’t what he wants. We both want the same things for the future- to get married, have a family. But essentially, he said he’s not sure he sees me in his future. I really don’t even know what to think about all of it. I can fully respect the not being sure part, as I’m not 100% sure that it will work out, but I know I want to try. I can’t help but feel there is something else going on (not like someone else- I know that’s not it) but something with being overly stressed from work maybe. I just don’t understand why if you care about someone, and have fun with them and genuinely enjoy their company, why walk away? Any insight or advice on what to do? I don’t want to lose him, but love him enough to let him go if that’s what he truly wants.

don`t sound to good

all bad hun, as a man he should know that he wants you in the future 100 %!

just be his friend... maybe it will work itself out, or it won't...
either way, you'll be just fine...

Thanks mightmoe- that was kind of my plan. Give him his space and see what happens. The ball isn't in my court anymore.

I believe he has told you exactly how he is feeling.

"He stated he felt like he needed to evaluate his level of commitment to this relationship, and feels as though we have plateaued..." Having "plateaued" means there is nothing that will bring it up a level - it's downhill from here.

Some people have a very difficult time to express themselves and I think he is trying to say goodbye. You said you are not sure either but are willing to try. Perhaps you will find someone who you are not only "willing to try" with, but "can't live without" him and he feels the same way! Just imagine what that feels like!

My opinion - he is wanting to go his own way and you should go yours. Good luck!

When I say I'm not sure I simply mean I have no idea what the future will hold. I dont think anyone is ever 100% sure about how a relationship will work out. I know how I feel and I want him in my life. I can live without anyone and don't "need" anyone to be happy......but I also dont want to have to live without him in my life.

(((beebee)))wish you the best of luck.

well this sounds all to familiar...

between ((mightymoe)) and ((quizee))..my questions were answered as well. (guess I will quit trying).

Sorry beebee, but I think he is saying goodbye.

Hi beebee ;-)

Yeah doll....as a guy I can say with certainty ...time to disconnect the dots and be on your way.

Don't beat yourself up over it. Ya gave it a fair shot.

I know it is no consolation ...suck is suck.

On the upside...this frees you up to find the one who will love you forever.

:)

i hope it works out for you... you both seem very level-headed about it, and that can lower the stress levels a lot...i think your right, give him his space, and hopefully he will decide he wants to be with you more than the other chic he's checking out right now...

oh, i forgot to say i think he's checking out another chic right now... guys are dumb sometimes, we don't always see it when a nice woman loves us...

God....the truth hurts.

I hate to say it but you gotta let him go. Having that conversation isn't easy for anyone, and most wouldn't even think of having it unless they had already made up their mind.

If I had that conversation with a boyfriend, I might suggest that we take a break from one another while we consider where we want to go from here. I think it's hard for someone to really evaluate what they want from the comfort and influence of a relationship.

From there if he decides he wants to go forward, and you're still on board with that idea, you will both know that the decision did not develop out of habit of being together, because you've been apart for a while.

Or if he decides he wants to go a different route, being away from you for a while will give him the room to do so freely. While this may hurt, at least it won't be a shock because you will have had time alone to reflect on a life without him too.

This is not meant to serve as actual advice, but is just an option I thought to throw out there as something I would consider in the same situation.

Patience here is a must. Sometimes a new job and a new routine can be overwhelming and throw someone off balance.Maybe when he gets a chance to come up for air he will realize that he really loves and needs you.

Well said 1cynderella. Nothing will make it hurt less, and I know time away isn't going to change my mind. I'm hoping that he will decide I'm who he wants to be with, but I can't sit around waiting and hoping if it never happens.

Jacktrades that is my thought and hope too. He never said its over or he doesn't want to be with me, just that he needed to evaluate his feelings with everything going on.

First of all....there probably is someone else. Not saying he has cheated. Saying that he possibly has eyes for another woman and wants her. Him saying that he isn't sure you are in his future means that he feels someone else is (or could be). Second....as has been stated...it's time to call it off with him. And lastly....gotta give him props for being honest about how he feels. A lot of dudes won't do that.

I really don't think this is about him seeing someone else or wanting to see someone else. Not going to elaborate on that, but I have gotten word that that isn't the case. I do appreciate his honesty, but feel there's still more I don't know. So for now...he can have his space to figure it out. I will just try to be patient for a while until the time comes to have another heart to heart and figure out who wants what and where to go.