Hawaiigurl makes some of the point I was alluding to, that if you have no money you may have to spend all your time working, which is not good for a relationship.

If two people respect each other and trust each other and manage their funds well together it won't help much if the sum of their funds is 12 cents.

Flip side, since someone asked for that, if someone has tons of money but they have to work all the time to support their lifestyle, then they don't really have that much money in my opinion.

Gypsy are my odds going to improve if I change my name to Mathew? Because I really liked being Michael.

BayAreaGal in another topic someone was suggesting that the way to find a wife was to stand on a street corner and shout to ladies driving by "HEY LADY WILL YOU MARRY ME?" I think that idea is a little earlier in the relationship than you and I.

At this point I'm just covering the hypothetical possibilities. I haven't had a woman in my house in so long I'm not convinced of what advantage there might be in having one. But I'm willing to concede that there might be some advantage.

Maybe I should spend a little more time figuring out the finer details like how a man and woman can put their arms around each other without getting all tangled up, but somehow I think after a little awkward twisting this way and that, they can eventually figure out a way and work it all out.

So that just leaves the technicalities of qualifying the spouse. If I'm in love with a woman, I think it might be convenient if she just happens to have several millions packed away all nice and neat. If I'm in love with a woman and she owes more money than I can afford to spend I am certainly going to have some reservations.

Sometimes your success and your position in life is dependent on the choices you made as you were living. Did you go to school. Did you work steadily at a meaningful career? Did you save your money? Or did you drop out of school, work in a bar part time and spend all your money on drugs and booze?

Sometimes a person's wealth points to an element of their character as well.

the way i look at it - the richer you are the poorer your spouse can be to average it out. thus:

for richer for poorer and vice versa....
for poorer for richer

as long as you can live a little bit. it's ok.
but for richer for richer is not really all that good
and neither is for poorer for poorer....

it's a ying yang thang

Again when you die, that means jack. Nada, zero..

I do agree that there should be a mutual responsibility financially. No I don't want to be with someone who is in debt with horrible spending habits.

However, salary isn't going to be the final determining factor when choosing a mate.

Philosopher: "BayAreaGal in another topic someone was suggesting that the way to find a wife was to stand on a street corner and shout to ladies driving by "HEY LADY WILL YOU MARRY ME?" I think that idea is a little earlier in the relationship than you and I."


Umm...that hasn't stopped other JSHers from doing so!!

the pertinent clause for gypsy is the part where she commits to being obedient

BayAreaGal I imagine guys are hollering out for you to marry them as you pass all the time. I think I may well be the most reserved guy you've encountered for a while. It looks to me like you are polishing up your irony with a soft cloth.

If someone marry's only for money then if times get bad, would THEY not be the first to leave YOU?

If someone marry's for lust only, then when a problem comes along that prevents them from having sex, would that person then not just leave you to..?

If someone marry's you for love, you at least have all the ingreediences of LOVE to slowly fall apart over alot of time, as to just running away for just one of them!!

I can say this... I was involved in a live-in relationship where not only did I bring home the bacon, I fried it up and then cleaned up afterwards. Needless to say, this left me feeling very resentful. I put myself through college and have always been fiscally responsible, but no tightwad. The man I marry doesn't have to be rich, but he does need to have enough self-respect and honor to want to do the very best he can at anything he endeavors, inluding making a living.

They are just eyeing the boat! Ain't nothing special going on in these wind conditions!

Money is overrated. But I'd agree. Even the happiest couples will feel grief if they can't pay their bills. Conflict over money is at the top of the list of reasons that people divorce.

I just notice a difference in the lifestyles for my friends who have money and those who do not. Usually those friends who have money made it the hard way, but some enjoyed a little benefit from their ancestors.

I don't know if making money the hardway is the right way to put it. I think some people are just better disciplined at living below their means than other people.

Dunno...this is a tangent from your original thought 'tho...

I think it is similar, if someone manages their life well they will probably not be in money trouble. As for accumulating wealth, that is another step in a positive direction.

I hear Christians frequently use the expression "similarly yoked" which refers to their commitment to God and church. Its good if people match up in finances and responsibility. As for being yoked by religion, that can be a whole other issue. I don't want to mix that up in this microdiscussion.

Yup. It just comes down to lots and lots of pre-marital communication. I know tons of couples who never even talked about money in enough detail before marriage. Some never really talked much about parenting styles either or other major lifestyle issues.

And yes, Christian values can come into play with all of this, but the details on THIS can be saved for the religion thread!

sLOW.........bETTER MEN HAVE TRIED TO MAKE ME OBEDIENT BUT i FAILED THAT DOG TRAINING CLASS!!!!

Obedience has what to do with anything here? Gypsy succumbing to coercive aggression? I hardly think so. And what's up with those dangling brass snow cones?

Premarital communication. My favorite. I especially like the part where a man and woman sit across the table from one another and he reaches across and takes her hands in his and looks into her eyes and says "I love you with all my heart and I'm so glad you are a part of my life".

Hmmm you seem to say the right things. I know this will cause an issue but, today I DON'T CARE!!!!


IMHO God Provides ALL of us with Money, Jobs, Children, Love and Everything else we may need. God should be the Center of a relationship not an after thought.

Maybe we should ask Him who He choose for us. After all, He has Never Made a Mistake yet...

Just had to get that off my chest...

I've had money and had it all, I've been poor and had nothing...and each relationship in each state of finances never worked..it had nothing to do with money having it or not..I don't give a damn a bout money, and the man I choose will feel the same..its love this time around or nothing at all

I am seeking a woman with a rich mind and heart and poor of greed and selfishness.

There are alot of good feedback on this issue, The most important thing I see to avoid the pitfalls in a marriage is taking the time to get to know the other person, (BEFORE YOU MARRY THEM) someone already mentioned child raising beliefs, money management style ,and other very important scenarios, so for the record, any one on here that cannot take the time to get to know me, and let me get to know them with extremely long e-mails is going to be ouT of the running! It's not about the money!! you can flap that in my face all you want and I will just turn away.

Dale you make a good point when you say you don't care, but as for asking God who they want for you I'll remind you of an Italian general I read about once. The general said, "Prepare for battle by praying as if only the hand of God can deliver victory, then prepare for battle with all your skills as if God did not exist".

It is nice to trust God to make the right choices for you, but I suggest you might spend a bit of time thinking about them yourself.

Cherub, if money doesn't matter at all, isn't it just as easy to fall for a man who has a little as to fall for one who has none? And why should it matter more if you fall for a wealthy man than if you fall for a poor man.

I am seeing a lot of the popular myth that money does not matter. I wonder how that perception started. I imagine you can trace it back to the hippie days of the 60s and 70s anti-establishment movement. Free love and equanimity for all causes.

Suppose you meet a person, dressed nicely, fine clothes, hair combed or brushed, teeth polished, shoes shined. Then suppose you met another in grimy clothes, smells funky because of homelessness and no access to a regular bath, holes in shoes, greasy hair. Now suppose that the difference in the two people all has to do with wealth. One is well off and the other is poverty stricken. The current proper way to think is that these two are equal, they have equal rights and value. But one is managing life well, the other is not, or perhaps the difference in wealth for the two is entirely luck.

Would you not be more interested in the friendship of one than the other?

The futility of that question is that I know the answer given here by many will be that it does not matter. You would like them both the same. If you would take one home for dinner you would take the other just as readily. If you give such an answer I have to wonder about your veracity. Maybe I will wonder why you would feel motivated to prevaricate about the matter as well.

We all make choices in out lives.