I have been briefly in and out of dating forums over the past ten years.., as I do not go to bars, etc.. Over this time, I have had communication with many women in these sites.. and about 80% of the time (before we get past emails/ phone calls and about to set up a meeting/date).. I have heard the same "final minute confessions"..:

- My pic is not as recent as I said it was.. (sometimes as much as 15 years old)

- My relationship status isn't exactly as I said it was... (married/just separated/etc.)

- I do have children, but I didn't want to bring it up.. (some with 5-6)

- etc/etc/etc..

Therefore..., I have dated very few times, during these years.., because I won't begin a relationship founded on lies..

..And I am pretty sure, from what the platonic ladies in my life have told me, that it happens with men, too.., so this isn't a thread just directed at women..

Why lie..?

You eventually have to meet this person at some future point.., so why start off lying about who you really are..? I'm sure many people get stood up, because they have someone looking for a younger person..

If you aren't confident enough about who you are and what you want in life, by the time you reach 50.., maybe a dating site isn't the best place to begin spending your free time..?

Just a thought... and yours are all welcome, too..

I have met several men from different Cities other than my own. I have only met one guy, who was really overweight and didnt say so. But other than that, they didn't lie. I talk about everything before I meet inperson, so we don't waste each other time even in One date.

It's good you have had positive experiences, Toody... but I have experienced a lot of "internet actors" myself..

If I told you all the stories that I have heard from friends, it would take a few full pages of this thread... I'm not saying that everyone lies.. But.., a lot lie about something.. Even if i seems small, to some people...

I am part Indigenous and follow more of a traditional pathway than a modern one, so I really like people who "walk their talk".. and I tend to "smile and wave" at the others.. LOL! I also spent a lot of my younger years in the music business.. and saw/experienced/dealt with a lot of phony people.., so all that adds to my own reasoning and desire for truth..

The ones who lie are not all that intent or serious on meeting you in person probably. They are playing games. For some reason they probably are not serious about meeting up in person. They are roll playing.

I post recent pictures of myself although I have fun with some photo shopping of me as a judge, or with Russel Crow, or an Alien.... I'm just having fun.

The problem I have with the idea of meeting someone in person is that often they live across the world or across the country. I find it hard to imagine how meeting them in person would even be possible. Who has the time and the money for long distance trips etc.?

I sure don't.

I can dream though....

I pass up men who communication online with me and play games. I am not into just meeting up with Any type man inperson just to have a date. I am meeting a man next month from out of State. My dates are Nice. It takes time to know a man and most men online play.
Mingle moves slow for dating so I dont meet off here.
Imo

I thought that at the beginning.., but after so many local ladies doing it, I actually met up with two of them,too... One even managed to keep her lies hidden for about three weeks.. I only dated a total of two women off of the Internet in that whole time period..

Photoshopping for comedy is totally okay.., but not when it's to alter size/facial lines/etc... It's just another form of lying, to me..

To be honest..., I don't see how a long distance relationship can start, either... You really need to have regular human contact with someone for awhile, to see how you connect... Talking on the phone and/or internet is fine to introduce yourself.., but I don't think that you can get a true feel of what the person is all about, until you spend time together..

I'm not saying that it "can't happen".., though.. But.., I think it's easier for people to be on their best behavior when they are meeting sporadically.., than when it is regular....

I also think that if a person hasn't got the time to do this (meet at least a few times per/week), than she/he doesn't really have the time to start a new relationship.. Again.., just my opinion.. and I'm not trying to insult anyone here.. These are just my own feelings about it.. Not calling anyone right, or wrong.. Everyone has their own pathway... (But, I will usually put my two cents out there.. LOL!)

I just joined up within the last two days..., so I am interested in hearing about experiences in here.., because the three other sites I have tried have not yielded anything but platonic friends.. (not that more good friends aren't a good thing.., but not what I'm really here for..)..

I did a heck of a lot of traveling in my younger years in music.., so I enjoy being in one place, these days..

I totally agree with you. At this point in life you certainly should be able to be up front and honest from the start. Be confident in who you are and if someone doesn't like you for who you are move on. I've run across the same thing people put up pics that aren't even them just to get responses. Know who you are and what you want and don't settle just to have someone.

I totally agree with you. At this point in life you certainly should be able to be up front and honest from the start. Be confident in who you are and if someone doesn't like you for who you are move on. I've run across the same thing people put up pics that aren't even them just to get responses. Know who you are and what you want and don't settle just to have someone.

I totally agree with you. At this point in life you certainly should be able to be up front and honest from the start. Be confident in who you are and if someone doesn't like you for who you are move on. I've run across the same thing people put up pics that aren't even them just to get responses. Know who you are and what you want and don't settle just to have someone.


My favorite saying is: "I'd rather be alone, than with the WRONG person"... (but it would still be nice to find the right one.)..

I lived a very fast & busy younger life... I don't need to fulfill any fantasies, because they have all been filled.. in my twenties..

People who lie about themselves don't really love themselves enough, so they settle for someone less than they really want..

If you can't love yourself 100% .. it's pretty hard to love anyone else 100%, isn't it....?

Hi, new to Mingle, "veteran" of other sites, with mixed results.

One woman I met on a site told me she uses a cane. So? She said some guys were put off by it when they saw it. But wait, there's more. She is a very bright, funny woman, and we have a lot of compatible interests (and we were both attracted to each other), and I really thought we had hit it off (lots of email, phone conversations), and then it turns out that her politics and mine were at opposite poles. Additionally, she was the victim of sexual assault many years ago, and never received or sought out assistance in dealing with the crime nor with the emotional damage. As a result, I felt I was dealing with 2 different women, one very forward about sex, the other very damaged. On our first and only date, she said she "really, really liked me," but my religious beliefs weren't compatible with hers. I was left not sure what I should have felt. I didn't feel anger over having driven nearly 2 hours to meet her and have her have lunch with me, see a movie (and hold my hand) and then go into a political diatribe and talk about everything that was wrong with my belief system. I felt bewildered, and sad for her. I only wish she had been more honest with me at the beginning about our political and religious values, even though I really don't factor those in seeking a relationship, at least not on the first date.

I don't lie about my age, height, work, etc. That's juvenile. The pics are current. Why lie about your appearance, when it will be seen on the first meeting, and why lie about things that can be easily verified with a Google search? I did one on my own, and found information that was dead on accurate. A certain website with the initials "LI" can tell you immediately of a person's current job.

Wow!

Hey welcome to Mingle. Here you can get to know people on the forums and make friends, learn about their beliefs and politics and then decide if you are compatible.

Love your pictures and your smile. Let's talk religion and politics!





P.S. Do you like my sexy picture? It is an experiment to see if it will attract more attention than my regular ones.

Read about the experiment here: http://mingle2.com/topic/show/362246

Great post, Quest..! Thanks for sharing so much...

Personally.., I would have no major problem, if the woman I fell for was on a cane, or in a wheelchair..., so I give you congrats...

I think there are very many factors, that affect compatibility.. and you listed some good ones... And although I know it wasn't the greatest date for you, I think you need to look at the positive side.. She could have kept things hidden for months.. and then you would have invested a lot more than one day of your life..

Wishing you a better next one..

Love your pictures and your smile. Let's talk religion and politics!

P.S. Do you like my sexy picture? It is an experiment to see if it will attract more attention than my regular ones.


Speaking of that, I started an Indigenous Spirituality thread, in the "other religions" section.., if anyone is interested..? (even though, it is not a "religion")

Is that your body.., or is one of your friends going to slap you..?

You love your Photoshop, don't you..

It's not my body, but it could be. I'm just too lazy to dress up and pose for pictures in front of my web cam.
Actually, I don't think I have that much in the boob department.

What can I say, I'm an artist.

I'll check out your spirituality thread for sure.

Actually I use Paintshop pro 7, not photo-shop. It is much easier to use.

Oh...! So you are one of those 'dem 'dere aliens, who can take over other people's bodies... LOL!

No, it was just easier to photo-shop a picture than hire a photographer. It would be hard to get a sexy shot with a webcam.

But I'll keep trying. Most of my computer webcam shots look horrible.

Yep! Mine all do, too... This one is terrible... My hair is really fairly blonde, but even after trying to lighten the brightness, it still looks dark.. Pretty cheap camera app, I guess..?

Of course.., I should just be happy that the camera didn't break..

Use this one, I took some of the red out, and lightened it.

I sent you a PM...

I didn't ask you to do this... and you didn't ask me..?

And now it looks actually worse, because it looks like all my sides are grey..

Appreciate your intention, but please remove this.. thanks!