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| Topic: MAN OR WOMAN,WHO IS MORE JEALOUS? | |
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and ... as a sidebar... many people confuse jealousy with love or jealousy with caring. If you really care about me, you will be jealous ... nonsense!!! no really it is not nonsense. it's a perfectly normal emotion. it's healthier I think to acknowledge the full range of emotions. Where jealousy is destructive is where it exists when ones partner has not behaved in a way that should make you feel jealous. the responsibility we have is to behave in a respectful manner that is not going to cause a healthy individual to feel jealous. so jealousy can occur and be either warranted or unwarranted. but nothing is wrong with jealous twinges when our partner is not making us a prioity in an appropriate manner. it's how we deal with it that is salient. emotions are not right or wrong, good or bad. it's how we deal with them that makes or breaks a relationship Are you saying that love and caring require jealousy? What is jealousy? It is fear and anxiety about losing something. It is a belief that someone else is getting what you want and that somehow you couldn't have it. It is a belief in lack and that there is not enough to go around. It is a need to control. That may be normal in your world but it is not in mine. If I am in a jealous place, I am not living the fullness of me. In a jealous place there is insecurity. In a jealous place their is control. And in a jealous place, I would have to believe that someone has something that I do not or could not have. When I am out with my guy and another woman hits on him, I don't get jealous. I think...yeah he is awesome and cute as hell, I can see why you would want some of that...how lucky am I that he is coming home with me. I have no need to control another nor do I require them to alter who they are so that I can feel secure and whole. We are each responsible for our own emotions, our own fulfillment and our own happiness. Jealousy turns us away from ourselves every time and is a distraction from fully living. thank you but respectfully no need to put words in my mouth or lecture. What I am saying is what has already been said that all emotions are normal and expected and that denial is not healthy. I think I explained it pretty well in my first post. thank you. |
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I vote women. Remember Loreen Bobbit???
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Both. In some instances, no-one is worth fighting over. I noticed in the past, how some men tried to make me and some friends fall out, by telling us all individually, in secret of course, how they wanted to date us. Then when me and the other female friends confronted him, we all found he was telling us all the same bs. Not only that, he had a girlfriend at the time, so not sure if she was in on it herself. I came to the conclusion that the guy was a total loser. I knew I was better than to let any guy get between me and my buddies. I told them if any of them still were playing his little game, then to go ahead, but I will never let a guy break us up. Guys who are into seeing females fall out with each other are sick in the head. They need professional help. Especially if they think a woman wouldn't dare want another guy. Ha. Foiled. I don't play battle games. In fact, I'd rather date most of my female friends than him. What a floozy. Glad I stayed away from him. As for his girlfriend, who knows?
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i wrote
... many people confuse jealousy with love or jealousy with caring. If you really care about me, you will be jealous ... nonsense!!! You responded no really it is not nonsense. it's a perfectly normal emotion. I asked for clarification Are you saying that love and caring require jealousy? You respond no need to put words in my mouth or lecture. Interesting point of view. |
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Edited by
JOHNN111
on
Mon 07/15/13 02:28 PM
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Smart cookie ^^^ 
It's all about Fear, Fear of the unknown, fear of getting duped and Fear of losing someone special. I think there's a way to express our fears but anger is the most common reaction... it gets all weird and controlling when anger sets in.... Toxic! Men & Women... same only if you allow it to become toxic, which usually happens when you do not take a healthy approach at delaing with it. it is also sometimes about knowledge. We haven;t paid much attention here to partners who behave in manner that causes jealousy yet that definitely happens if you are at a party flirting all night with other women, then later, or the next day don;t even try to pretend that you can't understand why your partner feels a little jealous and probably a little devalued also. in a situation where jealousy arises, it is important that BOTH partners examine how they may have contributed irrespective of gender. gender issues are irrelevant There is such a thing as social incompatibility In a healthy relationship, no one flirts all night with the opposite sex without noticing a level of anxiety in their partner. Also, some people go bonkers if their mate talks with someone, flirting excluded, just talking. Levels of jealousy vary. The escalation to anger is ALWAYS toxic... sorry |
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Smart cookie ^^^
It's all about Fear, Fear of the unknown, fear of getting duped and Fear of losing someone special. I think there's a way to express our fears but anger is the most common reaction... it gets all weird and controlling when anger sets in.... Toxic! Men & Women... same only if you allow it to become toxic, which usually happens when you do not take a healthy approach at delaing with it. it is also sometimes about knowledge. We haven;t paid much attention here to partners who behave in manner that causes jealousy yet that definitely happens if you are at a party flirting all night with other women, then later, or the next day don;t even try to pretend that you can't understand why your partner feels a little jealous and probably a little devalued also. in a situation where jealousy arises, it is important that BOTH partners examine how they may have contributed irrespective of gender. gender issues are irrelevant There is such a thing as social incompatibility In a healthy relationship, no one flirts all night with the opposite sex without noticing a level of anxiety in their partner. Some people go bonkers if their mate talks with someone, flirting excluded, just talking. Levels of jealousy vary. The escalation to anger is ALWAYS toxic... sorry true though no one had said anything about escalation to anger, otherwise I agree with you. Do you tend to escalate to anger? Just a little confused because anger had not been part of the discussion till you brought it up. An overabundance of anger or jealousy is defintely a symptom that the relationship is not going well. I agree. I think it is just as often, the offending partner who was "misbehaving" by flirting (or worse) who gets angry, even when their partner calmly & reasonably calls them on it. It needs to be said that our feelings are our instinct. We need to listen to them not dismiss them. There are times when someone needs to be questioned. People should not accept inappropriate behavior from a partner out of fear of being "labled" jealous for questioning the inappropriate behavior. Either way way, right. It is a sign that there is an issue. no wrongs or rights, just an issue. If it can't be resolved in an adult manner or to the satisfaction of both, the relationship probably will not last. |
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Agree with some of the comments. I learnt at a very early age if you just say your jealous out loud it goes away. Strange but it works. Xx
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