I don't know if anyone on here can relate to this problem, but I'm finally putting my foot down. Enough is enough. Both of my parents seem to have what I call "Cinderella Syndrome". They don't want us to grow up into independent adults. It's all too obvious, when they say stuff like "You aren't allowed a boyfriend until I die", and "You AREN'T allowed to move out of this house". I AM allowed to move out, because I'm a grown adult. And I never promised my parents I would be their slave. My dad constantly verbally abuses one of my sisters about her weight. I feel like cutting these parents out of my life. They're always making it up to us by buying us expensive gifts. Well, sorry, but I for one can't be bought. Even if that IS nice of them. Not standing for it any longer. They can live with the darn consequences, because they don't deserve to be parents. Sorry, but they don't. Can I tell the Police at all?

I'm truly sorry to hear this.

My best advice is to confront them and just lay out how you feel... no holding back. You will always be their child, and they your parents, but you have your own life and your own destiny to follow, and that is not always something that may fall into the expectations of a parent or sibling. They can either respect and support your thoughts, dreams and ambitions... or they can step aside and let you pursue them as you see fit.

Fug that !
I don't and won't EVER apologize to my kids for their lives
Mine like to try and blame all their woes off on me or their mother
And we did the best we could
So if you are big enough to bidge about your home life
You are big enough to move on down the road as well
That's just how i see it !
Kids are unappreciative these days and always seem to want to lay the blame off on bad parenting
What about ungrateful kids as well ?
Simple answer ....
Move the hell out !



Maybe your dad just wants your rather plump ? sister to lose some weight
So she can find some kind of a decent guy who actually wants her ?
Why should the parents be obliged to provide what you want and how you want it for the rest of their lives ?

Best wishes ...
Call the cops ?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !

Have you tried to talk to them at all? You are 31 and old enough to be on your own. Do what you think is right. If you want to move out then move out. I have no idea about calling the police.

Hi :) I only wish this WAS just another poor parenting situation, but I just can't let it rest. I hate the fact that my sister is constantly picked on by dad, and at the same time, I don't just want, but need to escape. I feel cornered by my parents. If only it was just some typical situation, but I can't afford to take it lightly.

Thankyou :) I'm glad you understand my point. I questioned how much longer I could put up with it. I decided that "Yes" wasn't an option. I don't get their selfish behaviour. Maybe they're both undiagnosed narcassist's. One can never tell. Just trying to protect myself from emotional harm.

This isn't some joke, but whatever works for you. Next.

Well there's the homeless thing to deal with if I move out. Not sure where or even if I could get a new home. I put myself at risk if I live on the streets. Kinda risky.

My sister is fifteen. Would she be allowed to live in a new place with me? These parents aren't normal. I just know something isn't right about them both. You don't bully your own children. It just isn't normal. I've read other people's experiences about this kind of situation, and many said they felt relieved to finally not have to talk to them ever again. And telling them "Oh you can't do this or that" when they're an adult is just beyond silly. I don't want my sister to hurt anymore. They're like some wicked witch clan. It's time we got well away from them.

Well i did not mean for you to think i am making a joke of this
But i do have grown children who think somehow that i still owe them my everything
lol
If you got something to tell the police ...then by all means do so !
But if you are just using little sis as a reason for hanging onto the free wagon ...BS !
You are 31 years old right ?
Move out,move on...
You have no right to go spewing **** on parents who have supported you and raised you for 31 years
And until your sis is of legal age ...same same
Unless of course she IS being physically harmed or molested...
Sorry heard it too many times to just take the side of a spoiled child either...
{No offense}

I hope your situation will smooth out
Or that you will finally cut the umbilical cord
...sounds like someone needs to ?
Be Blessed young lady...

I'm really not trying to sound harsh without sympathy
Just that there are two sides to every story
And i know what i did when i could no longer cope with my parents..
Life is not always easy or forgiving

First thing you can do is..PLAN.
Find a job on your own if you have none.
Find a place to live when the time comes.

Plan the getaway, save some $$ if you can.
It all starts with that.
Or with someone who would take you in on the sly.
But a job is the key to independence.

it's time to obtain employment and support yourself. 31 is too old to be living at home, especially if things aren't going well. I doubt I'd permit a 31 to live at home unless she/he was employed AND in school

Yep what soufiehere said.

Start by making plans to be independent, get a job etc. If you have become dependent on your parents, they have power over you. They will also use that power to try to tell you what to do and how to live your life.

Until your plan is set, and you can support yourself, you probably should do what you can to make them happy. I'm surprised they haven't kicked you out by now if there is so much friction and drama going on. Nobody like to live like that.

Do you have a sensible plan? Don't just walk out with no plan. That is like a little child taking her teddy bear and running away.

It is a hard and dangerous world out there for someone who has never learned how to support them self. Meanwhile, be grateful you have a roof over your head and food to eat.

Hey, there. Sorry to hear of your troubles. I've been through parenting issues, so I may be of some help.

Yes, there are two sides to every story, however, there is never any excuse for verbal or physical abuse. When I was 13, my younger sibling needed to move to my other parent's place because of home conflicts. I wanted to move, too, but it was not possible. I wish it had been, because it would have saved me years of therapy... Anyway, i made a plan and got out when I was 18. The chit hit the fan when I laid out the plan for the parent I lived with, but I needed to do what I needed to do for my own emotional health.

I agree completely with Soufie- make a plan. Not knowing your circumstances, i apologize if my read on the situation is eronious. it is difficult to have an exit strategy if you don't have financial means. I suggest doing some research into any youth emergency services in your area: counselling, shelters, etc. that might be helpful to your sister (and yourself) for coping.

Would your parents be open to information about healthy ways to support your sister? Even taking her to a medical doctor could provide strategies (if she is wanting to lose weight)- this is where I am unclear about your intention. Are Dad's comments unwarranted, or is she desiring to get more fit?- Sometimes a person's fear comes out in negative ways i.e. fear for your sister's health coming out as disparaging comments because he doesn't know of other ways to deal with the situation in a positive way....

You might just be shaking your head at me...That any comments to parents will fall on deaf ears. And I've been there. What you said about narcissism hit a chord with me. If that's the case, then if there is no other advice I give, it is to focus on you and what you can do for yourself. Changing / controlling others is not possible. Be flexible. If one method does not get results, try something else. Also, what was said about parents being a product of their own parents is very true. I now have compassion for my parents, and each of their upbringing experiences, but it took me 22 years, and 15 years of professional support to get there!

I wish you all the best. Feel free to message me directly, if you want.
Be well.

imho, the bolded part is key. across the pond traditions, styles, attitudes, moral compasses, and general way of life is probably different than what you call normal. teaching children to grow up to be functioning, contributing members of society should be the normal thing for parents to do. in america, the age of 18 has been set and accepted as an adult age. until that age, parents are legally responsible for their child(ren), and some parents even face criminal charges if their child(ren) is(are) neglected. thing is, children do not come with an owners manual for parents to use as a guide to know how to raise them. at your age, calling the police would not be considered an option in america if you felt your parents were too controlling. your sister, at fifteen, would not be removed from the home or allowed to leave the home if police were involved. here you could find assistance to move out on your own, but any assistance you qualify for would be very temporary. once your sister turned 18, she could legally move out of your parents home and live with you, because she would be legally responsible for herself

getting yourself independant is probably the best way out of your situation (seems that is the advice most people here are agreeing on), and keeping yourself independant would aid your sister in the future. sorry i cannot give you specific advice on how to solve your problem. godspeed, bulldog

See all my question is really about, is me wondering if I'm allowed to gain custody of my sisters. Surely, if they're getting harrassed by the parents, then the court/social services would grant me that permission? At least it shows I care. Why would I want them to stay in such an environment? And at a young age? Sometimes you just can't sit back and watch stuff happen. Especially if it seems unorthodox. I'll be back later.

in america, you probably would not be able to gain custody of your sisters. if you had a place of your own, and their basic needs would be met there (ie. food, clothing, shelter) they may be able to get emancipated from your parents on their own. really you should be seaking the advice of a legal counselor in your home town. i guarantee i guarantee that you and your sisters have been in the thoughts and prayers of more than one person here on mingle

(bulldog double guarantee - patent pending)