see through swollen eyes
thicker than my grandmother's
biscuit dough -
but no prescription can correct
the nights spent crying
because of the Michigan snow
I've never seen piled on a 1976
Chevrolet windshield.
As if this saline from my baby blues
(that change as often as my
mood swings with the breeze of the
season)
mossy reds can change a thing
a place
a name – but do they still
powder a burnt dream? Lipstick on
splitting skin and
lay them out to rest with
clumped Aqua-net in their mass of curls
the smell of canned beauty makes me
sick.

It's as if my skin is choking me,
rubbing my face in the bathroom mirror,
cut the lines down so I can still
smile in my sleep. With no secrets to keep
I want to take my Venus razor and
bloody my legs -
I scratch with indifference
I itch with the patience of
a saint with nothing to pray to.
My alter was cleared along with
my memory when I was seven.
Cut me down, it's all I know.
My muscles jerk and knot more than
a boy scout,
and I haven't found the strength to scream
in a very long time.

My aperture settings are broken,
my eyes cant focus in the sunlight.
I wish I could tear my seams,
I wish I could fuse hydrogen to
keep myself going but
I can't
I would.
I would.
I would if I remembered how to live, again.
But I can't stop thinking of boxes.
They're heavy and open
and all I need to do is move
them from one carpeted area to
the other
like the symphony that moves within my
brain. But my alpha waves are too scared to
speak.

I scratch my whelped skin
hoping the sickness
of sadness would drain out. Someone
get me a hollow needle and
a basin, please? Rid me of this
slow consuming disease that is
killing my family tree.
Looking termites in the face,
knock my mind free.
A lock and key are all I need
just leave me.
Don't talk to me
Don't talk to me
Don't talk to me
it hurts to play my vocal chords
like harp strings. Like my mind
is two tangled kite strings
cut them off
cut it off
I can see red hair piling on the
bathroom floor - gaping at me from
the piss stained linoleum.

I am a road with no electrical wires
undeveloped film.
Take me where you think I begin,
I won't correct you.
And you will never realize you loved
me
but never knew me.
You could never see the bloody mass within,
how I shake and break over a slight of skin.
You don't know where the cracks sink in.
I am an inkwell.
I stain.
Leave a mark that's pear shaped and
full of veins and hope that
was never there.
You don't know
you don't know
but I didn't show,
what do I expect?

I have a exoskeleton
that's cherry red and
it cracks sometimes
but I'm patching as fast as I can.
My heart is an engine
the pistons are rising and
they're caked with dried blood and
dark clots in the shape of constellations
But
I'm still
stargazing.

heart broken and expressive
Hello kitty
WELCOME !
Nice write

Welcome very nicely written and expressed

Phenomenal imagery and very vulnerable. Thanks for your courage :)

Hi, I really like this poem. The emotion and honesty is so touching, I particularly like the last line. You have a gift for writing, thanks for sharing this.

I immediately wanted to look at your profile when I read this. Your soul seems much older than your physical years. Such haunting sadness and beautiful pain . . . I find myself hoping the person who writes these words, who creates these images, finds happiness in life . . .

Painfully good!...Welcome MissKitty!