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Topic: Age-old Marital problem
renee2511 Joined Wed 05/15/13 Posts: 150	Sun 06/16/13 01:40 PM Edited by renee2511 on Sun 06/16/13 01:40 PM
I have recently come across an middle aged woman who is totally dependant on her husband. She had marital problems all through her life. And unfortunately her children have now left her. She is still with her husband and cannot leave him at this age. While talking to her.. I always find that she takes every topic diverted to her husband and the unhappy relationship somehow.. and then explains her unhappy conjugal life/betrayal in love etc etc.. its a kind of very irritating some times.. but sometimes i feel sorry for her. cant suggest her any psychologist because she thinks she is perfectly all right.. psychologist is a doc for mad people lol. but really feel sorry for her. anybody any idea what should be done here other than asking her to move out.. because she cant do that!

soufiehere Joined Sat 10/24/09 Posts: 45349	Sun 06/16/13 01:49 PM
Choices like that are always really about, what do you want more, to live with him, or to live without him? She should make that call, and change her attitude afterwards to fit HER choice. Otherwise the annoyance will build as she does noting and keeps talking about it ad nauseam. I know tis easy from a distance, but she is wholly at the center of it, if she cannot change her circumstances, attitude changes are all that is left.

renee2511 Joined Wed 05/15/13 Posts: 150	Sun 06/16/13 02:05 PM
yah.. that is what i want to kno..how to inspire this lady to change her attitude.. she makes every life impossible around her.. or else the ultimate way is to avoid her like others do..

BettyB Joined Tue 01/29/08 Posts: 31912	Sun 06/16/13 02:21 PM
There is probably nothing you can do. People have to learn how to help themselves rather than whining it about it all the time. Maybe just be honest with her and tell her this getting old and you don't want to hear about it anymore.

Yamin Joined Tue 11/11/08 Posts: 181	Sun 06/16/13 07:44 PM
People will do as they desire when they desire

indiadating Joined Fri 06/14/13 Posts: 6	Mon 06/17/13 04:08 AM
Some marriage life run link this also.

sanjeev009 Joined Fri 01/18/08 Posts: 2115	Mon 06/17/13 04:16 AM
first she meditate herself then ask questions one by one wright or wrong differentiates.....then choose the path to go on it...i think she find answers in herself inner....i think so then try to enjoy life after she one by one correct all the things

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Mon 06/17/13 08:43 PM
I like sanjee's suggestion but I think it must be preceded by her belief that there is a problem that needs to be corrected if she does not perceive a problem than whose problem is it really? if conversing with her does not please you than solve that problem by spending less time doing that. if she inquires explain your issue to her and see if there is any solution she will help you with...such as different topics as suggested by Betty.

sanjeev009 Joined Fri 01/18/08 Posts: 2115	Mon 06/17/13 11:31 PM
start living life forget the worries....choose some another sites and here also to find ur best partner

renee2511 Joined Wed 05/15/13 Posts: 150	Tue 06/18/13 01:49 PM
thnks friends :)

sybariticguy Joined Thu 09/27/12 Posts: 1639	Fri 06/21/13 03:09 PM
Why not focus on what you can do after suggesting she get professional help? Let people have their issues but stay clear if you dont care to enable her more.....Psychologists help people sort out issues and are not about dealing with only insane folks..

Toodygirl5 Joined Fri 10/26/12 Posts: 14586	Fri 06/21/13 05:36 PM
Why not focus on what you can do after suggesting she get professional help? Let people have their issues but stay clear if you dont care to enable her more.....Psychologists help people sort out issues and are not about dealing with only insane folks.. TRUE!

teadipper Joined Wed 10/19/11 Posts: 2732	Fri 06/21/13 07:32 PM
I have recently come across an middle aged woman who is totally dependant on her husband. She had marital problems all through her life. And unfortunately her children have now left her. She is still with her husband and cannot leave him at this age. While talking to her.. I always find that she takes every topic diverted to her husband and the unhappy relationship somehow.. and then explains her unhappy conjugal life/betrayal in love etc etc.. its a kind of very irritating some times.. but sometimes i feel sorry for her. cant suggest her any psychologist because she thinks she is perfectly all right.. psychologist is a doc for mad people lol. but really feel sorry for her. anybody any idea what should be done here other than asking her to move out.. because she cant do that! Maybe you need to play that song for her: IT'S YOUR LIFE! IT'S NOW OR NEVER.

loyalmecca Joined Sat 06/22/13 Posts: 37	Sat 06/22/13 08:33 AM
If I ever get married do me a favor and shoot me in the head!

unsure Joined Wed 08/16/06 Posts: 4886	Thu 06/27/13 01:28 AM
Some people just like to complain about their lives. If you do not want to hear it, just tell them in a nice way that you enjoy spending time with them but you are not going to hear about her problems IF she continues to stay in that situation. Married life is not bad IF you are with the right person. Some people are meant to be married and some are not. I always enjoyed being married but I now enjoy being single. To each their own!!

sanjeev009 Joined Fri 01/18/08 Posts: 2115	Thu 06/27/13 01:44 AM
Some people just like to complain about their lives. If you do not want to hear it, just tell them in a nice way that you enjoy spending time with them but you are not going to hear about her problems IF she continues to stay in that situation. Married life is not bad IF you are with the right person. Some people are meant to be married and some are not. I always enjoyed being married but I now enjoy being single. To each their own!! willing and nature of person u can say!!!