While talking about relationships in this forum I noticed that I always talk about my past relationship, and sometimes I feel confused if it is because my lesson is learnt or is it because I am holding on to the memories?

What do u think.

One can always learn from past relationships as far as what didn't work & apply those experiences to future ones. I always say it's better to learn from other's mistakes than from your own!

hello

yeah.. thts true.. @journeyman

hello Harshmehra123. welcoming ur views about this topic..

Hi sweetie it's hard to let go of the past and memories. I wish you the best

thanks pam

sounds unbelievable, but time does heal all wounds. thing is, when you are hurting, it feels like time is standing still. it may be that in times like this, we feel like we are the only ones going through it and tend to withdraw from others. it's good to reach out for a helping hand. i guarantee i guarantee we all need somebody to lean on sometimes...

thanks bill
http://youtu.be/QPoTGyWT0Cg

(bulldog double guarantee - patent pending)

I think both. Lessons learned means you know what you are looking in the next person encounter. Memories I hope bring about forgiveness...In many cases it doesn't ...Hopefully so though! Memories help to recognize things you wish not to repeat! That how it's been for me. Without forgiveness you can't move on. I don't think you can separate the two...they go hand and hand(Memories/Lessons).

I do the same thing, for me I think my failures or short comings in this area cut the deepest. I try to learn from my mistakes and move forward.

Clear your heart. As well as your mind.
The mind isn't the only thing that contains memories.
The heart does as well.
For you to find peace and move on you must find acceptance.
Let go of the past and embrace the present.
The future will come with secrets of it's own.

Hi Reene,

I don't know about you. But the only thing that has kept me going are:
- Sense of Humor
- Becoming more mature out of every bad experience
- Reading good stuff
- Talking to an individual who has been there and came out like a champion

I don't know about your experiences and have no idea how much they matter to you. But I guess its ok to talk to someone. If he/she understands they would. Otherwise who cares :P

I believe everybody knows solution to their challenge. Its the acceptance that takes time.

I hope this helps. Honestly, I have never posted anything in any community so please if this offends you in any way. Urge you to let me know through mail. I would back this post with my sincerest apologies.

Take care!

thank u friends

hey chasedbymadgoaats dont worry nothing is offensive.. its forum and sharing ur experience is good

Thanks a ton!! I really believe in not saying a word rather than hurting someone... :)

Wish you TONS of good luck and happy life ahead :)

Take care! :)

But... what happens if you can't forgive your partner for the way they treated you, cheated on you & ignored you with somebody at work? Time took forever to heal my broken heart. She was so cold & callous... not sparing my thoughts or feelings because this other consumed her mind 24/7. I felt like I'd been abandoned... simply set adrift. That pain took a good couple of years to dissipate. It slipped away... gradually. But, upon seeing her - it would expose old wounds that'll only end up re-hurting me - not her. How do you forgive someone for turning your life upside down & inside out?

Sometimes, there are things that are unforgivable. I learned to cope with someone else's unforgivable actions. Forgiveness did not come easy or soon. And really, I've discovered that it is more about letting something in myself relax so that I can get on with my life and not dwell on past events.

Keep breathing. Keep listening to the wind. Find your centre.you cannot change the way others behave. You can only change the way you react.

I have two devastating break ups two years in a row. I dated in-between too. It was really not fair to the guys who were not the two I was in love with because all I did was talk about the two I loved. I think sometimes you just need to give it time. I mean you can numb your pain with meaningless dating but it is not really fair to that person.

I know I am through a mourning process
.
When I think of the person, place, or thing, there is no negative emotional attachment.

The thing that absolutely kills me is that. You learn from your mistakes and you can't worry about the "what ifs" "should of's" "I wish I would of" I am a one woman guy..so right now I'm trying to move on but still hanging on to hope that my ex GF will come back to me when she says "I need time to miss you". It's a "Living Death".

(I have done this in the past too)

We take to much energy thinking about the other person and what we should be doing is taking that energy and putting it on ourselves. We should be telling ourselves how much better we are. We should find what makes us happy and makes us laugh.. hanging with friends, hobbies and focusing on that. Try something new..

It sucks. It really does. But, time doesn't forget, but it does heal.. time will let you move on. Think of your high school break ups.. it was awful.. but, are you still crying or hurt about that... probably not, time has healed you and you moved on. (just an example).

In the end, I think "Why would I want to be with a person who doesn't want to be with me"? I want to be with a person who wants me for who I am. Then I smile, knowing that I am a good person and I should have the 'right' person in my life.