There is a woman I am interested in. I have gone about this backward, though. I can't help it, but I am crazy about her. It has always been very difficult for me to find someone compatible with my beliefs, hobbies, likes and dislikes, etc.
I have talked to her in person several times and she is always pleasant. Sometimes she is chatty and animated, other times, she doesn't do much to sustain the conversation. I need advice...

I know her in person, but I have seen her on five dating sites. She was married for one year to someone completely unlike herself. When she got divorced, she immediately went on all these dating sites looking for someone. That was in 2009, and she is still on some of these sites, including mingle2. All these sites keep matching me with her, some sites use a percentage or score for the match--some say 90 percent match--some say 88 percent. One says 95 percent--not bad I thought! We have everything in common except that she likes golf more than I do. Out hobbies are exactly the same, our morals are the same, our religion is the same. We are crazy about our pets, too. And I fit within the age range she requires.

Problem is, since 2009, she has rejected everyone who has shown an interest in her. I have asked her to have coffee with me a couple of times, but she says she is 'talking to a fellow' and that it would be unfair for her to communicate with me while she is talking to him. It turns out, there never is any fellow.

She says she is looking for someone for a long term relationship or marriage. So am I. I have been trying for 15 years to find someone, but I keep getting rejected because of my moral views. She attends church regularly and wants someone she can go to church with. So do I. She says she doesn't want someone for his money or house--she is satisfied with both. Great! I have never met someone with all the exact same interests, hobbies and personal beliefs as I have.

I am literally grieving over this. It is making me sick. It is all I can think of. She makes me very happy when I am around her. But she keeps rejecting me (and everyone else) before I get a chance to tell her that we have all the same interests and beliefs. She knows nothing about me personally, except that I like to make her laugh and that I am fond of her.

I desperately want to know how to get through to her without upsetting her. Maybe she is kind of shy. I don't know. I don't want to scare her. But I know this may be my last chance to find someone. Like she says, we are getting older and it's harder than ever to find someone.

I shouldn't be, but over the last year, I have becomes so enamoured of her.

Dear God! Can someone offer any advice as to how I can get through to her?!

--Thanks.

i think she is not yet emotionally out of her previous relation.. mentally though she really wants to get out of it.. get friendly with her may be she can tell u the reason why she keeps rejecting u

Love and attraction are those things you cannot beg,
borrow or steal.
It seems you have given her many opportunities to
return your ardor.
And she has not taken them.

I would back away.
Sometimes this can provoke some serious attention
from the other party.
Maybe see you in another light.
Best of luck :-)

This woman has not met, who she really wants to be in a relationship with. She may see You as just a friend. She is still looking, if she is on dating sites and You have known her since 2009.

She sounds confused about why she's still looking, if she really still wants the other guy. Heartbreak can make you do funny things. I get both the feelings that she may still want the other guy, yet she is going on dating sites just incase it doesn't work out, if you get what I mean? This is so confusing. lol. Yet you want her. I'm guessing you feel like she's a rare find. Well that's the sort of vibe I feel from the way you talk so adoringly about her, without any nasty words.

You just can't force someone to have feelings about you no matter how enamored you are with her.

Thanks everyone.

I see I forgot to mention that her ex-husband cheated on her and married the one he was cheating with. I doubt she still wants him back. She hated being called 'fat' by him, too.

But that may not change things much. I guess I will try a little bit longer with her. I need to keep myself strong.

In all her profiles on all these dating sites, this woman I am crazy about writes the nicest things about herself. And it turns out they are true. She loves the little kids she teaches. She loves dogs and cats the way I do. And she especially loves her sister and parents. She always expresses her gratitude toward them. And the worst things happen to her (poor health, etc.),but she still remains cheerful and trusts that the future will be brighter.

I guess That's the major reason I like her so much. It sounds corny saying this, but I think she has the sweetest heart of any woman I have ever met. I have found that to be unusual in a woman who is actually kind of attractive (at least to me).

So--thanks everyone. I think I must try a little longer. If I quit now, I will certainly lose!

--Win

At least you sound a bit more settled about what you're gonna do, today. She sounds like a great catch. Good luck :)

At least you sound a bit more settled about what you're gonna do, today. She sounds like a great catch. Good luck :)

it sounds like she is just not that interested in you

it takes more than having things in common (which I think is the biggest weakness of these dating site matching systems - attraction cannot be quantified)

Having things in common doesn't mean that spark of attraction we call chemistry is going to be there!