33yrs ago today
st helen blew its top

33yrs ago
i was 16yrs old
having my own issue
i had gotten pg
and the bf i had stood
by my side

i had a abortion
33yrs ago today

i didnt know why for
the longest time
as why i was depressed
and i ran acros something
a few yrs ago
that i was going through
post abortion syndrome
which made a heck alot of sense

i wasent even thinking about it
untill i saw the post on yahoo


and i also realized something else
that i got married to my son dad
may 18 26yrs ago
and been divorced for 24yrs

and the last 2years in may
i was in the hospitol around my moms
birthday both times

with pneumonia
this time im taking
the meds for precaution
so i wont get it
for i refuse to go
back to the hospitol
i already have said
if i get sick
i would rather run and hide


now this freaken depression is kicking in
i wish i didnt see that post

dont link up things with a date.. dont be depressed.. life gives us enough reason to cry for... we still need to stand up and say i m not down.. i wont be

Being depressed is part of life. Giving into it, isn't. You can't change the past. Nor can you forget it. You must learn to deal with it. One evening, I got pretty depressed about my situation. For some reason, I decided to write a fictional story, which is so not me. What I discovered was I could occupy my mind so throughly, that I'd forget about what I was depressed about. It became an ongoing thing with me. Everytime I'd see it coming, I'd sit and write. Judging by what I've written, my guess is that I was plenty depressed. I do it on my Pc, and to date, I've done 2.2 megs of keystrokes.

Now, I don't suggest you do that, but I do suggest that you find something to occupy your mind totally. I think the mind can heal itself, given the opportunity to do so. What you need to do is find that way.

See the doctor queene, if it is bad they will prescribe something for you.

Sorry that you are feeling so down Queene.

i write poems

the doc ask me sometimr back
if i was depressed
well yea with dialyis
but i told no
for i dont want anymore
freaken meds

Yes I thought the same when I saw that date
Still remember where a was standing and later that year the death
Of John Lennon i was just 13 very close to the eruptions
Was raised on south Vancouver island just over the border.
Like yesterday,

Yes that is great advice on the journaling, I myself, have done numerous psychology
Work shops and journaling is definitely high on the list.
Meditations, another good one, its just like addictions, that negetive
Thought process needs to be pushed through immediately,
Never giving chance to entertain these thoughts.
Challange yourself more this time of year, plan out your week comming.
Its all about preparation on having a viable game plan with a back up
and always exit plans. So you see this is helping myself journaling & keeping
my plan in check.
My last girl lost her mom when she was 16, in may infact & she still has a really
hard time with this time of year, but just drinks & dwells on it
I tried with her but it probably cost us our relationship as we split may 27 ? last year
I'm not a fan of these doctor feelgoods...
Its up to you, there's lots of resources available to you.

Very best
Jamie

you need some weed & tacos

NO!!!!! i dont need weed
i quit that **** over 17yrs ago

tacos that sounds good for
midnite munchies

I'm sending hugs to you Queene. This is a tough time of year for me, too. Be kind to yourself.

I'm sending hugs to you Queene. This is a tough time of year for me, too. Be kind to yourself.

Hasn't been the easiest May for me, either. I lost my mom 20 years ago this month, and my dad one year ago.

Been a lot of bad luck among my close circle, too, and taken all together, I feel ya on the depression thing.

I just have to keep forging ahead and believing things will get better. That's what we all have to do.

Well you can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Depression is as much a part of life as anything else. It's a hard road to walk. Everything you see, hear and smell reminds you of past failures, loves lost, friends and family who've passed on, oppurtunities missed or thrown away. I just try to occupy my mind with other things, mostly new experiences so it's something new. Fresh ideas that have mostly nothing to do with the past.
I'm trying to revamp my whole structure, start all over again. Reset everything back to ZERO. Hard as hell, but I'm gradually seeing results.
I suggest something along the same lines for you. Not exactly how I do it, caues we're 2 different people, but more like: just try new things, meet new people.
The key word is "NEW"
It's starting to work for me, after much, much resisting on my part lol hard to let go.
I can only hope it'll work for you.
But you gotta try.
Hope I helped a fellow depressionist, even a lil.
Good luck

shitty bro

sowi,accept my sympathy and God be with you.

I have had depession off and on my whole adult life..Had a breakdown at age 23 and two months pregnant with my 4th child, dr said it was my bodys way of saving my life...Lost my husband and mom within 6 months of each other.. When I get the depression I try to keep busy, if I feel its bad enough, I get help from the dr...I find just taking one day at a time helps..

It's nothing to be ashamed of and get help if you feel you need it..Life has its ups and downs and we all have to go on with our lives, so stay positive, let friends and family help you in those don times...We all need help sometimes...Hugs and have a better day.

Well Queenie if nothing else we can at least be here to listen and offer advice. Sending my thoughts and love your way.

chin up, head high, and cheer up. i'm not good at this. i'll shut up now.