Long time member haven't posted in a while, I would like a woman's opinion on this I have finally read the 50 shades of gray book, I know a little late, what prompted me to read said book, I kept hearing so much about it from friends and coworkers,(most of my coworkers are female) seriously ladies is there any truth in this book, are women actually wanting men to be more dominant in western society, do you believe woman's liberation has taken away an essential element in male/female relationships.

Now I was always raised to believe to conduct myself as a gentleman at all times in or out of a relationship,however I do feel that we have lost something over the years as gender rows are becoming more and more confusing, I do find however as far as dating goes most women still expect the male to pay for said date open doors for them and in other words conduct ourselves as gentlemen,also it is still left up to the man to decide where and when on said date.

Do woman really want men to act as cavemen from time to time, by the way I am considered by many to be very alpha on the surface, my occupation requires me to act in this manner, however I consider myself about 30 percent alpha and 70 percent beta, I can be very alpha when it is necessary, some have even told me that I have a very scary look in my eyes when I become that way.

There's a big difference between acting like a cave man and being dominant in the bedroom. Yes, many women do get turned on by dominance in the bedroom. However, I don't think that means they all want men to be dominant at all times, though.

I would think decision making would also be a priority to woman, as to being decisive.

Read most of all 3 of these so called 'grey shades' books; not much different or improvement over The Story of O, written over 50 years ago, immediately branded as very scandalous, disgusting, and degrading to women and males. The publishers were hauled into courts. Today, this extreme masochistic tale is hailed as a 'classic', worthy to stand beside the best writings of the Marquis de Sade.
I'm still waiting for the comic book versions as well as an adult coloring book version....
The 'shades' books can easily also stand with Henry Miller's Tropic Of Cancer or Tropic of Capricorn. Tropic of Cancer ignited 4 attempts to film it; all were profound duds, as was also Candy and Lolita,( 3 times)...really unimaginative directors, producers. If anyone attempts to film the 'shades' books, I daresay, they will also fail. No one has even tried to film The Story of O but they also tried with Immanuel and made 2 sequels, if I recall and weren't half bad; a bit better than any of the Ilsa, The She Wolf of The SS movies...again, I'm still waiting for the comic book and adult colouring book versions; hell, why should kids have all the fun with colouring books!

gender roles have been pretty much demonized and dissolved by modern culture, in my opinion

so you will probably find a much more diverse range of personal tastes amongst women in terms of how they wish/expect a man to carry themeself

I am quite a fan of balance, personally

I believe men are naturally created to be hunters and gatherers, to protect and provide for, and I am attracted to the man who is able to do that, I am also attracted to a man who can cherish their lady and their family,,, as many alpha type males seem to misunderstand their natural traits as license to take for granted and run over/use women strictly for their own pleasure and service

I believe strongly in men being gentlemen as opposed to mere dominant bruts, and women being ladies, as opposed to mindless waifs

but ,, although I believe MANY women feel like I do, I know that MANY prefer that alfa brut bad guy, or that submissive/metrosexual whatever you say honey guy,,,,

its very subjective,,,

I was 50 Shades of Grey before it became cool.

This is true, and he should keep in mind 50 Shades is nothing more than erotic fiction....It is not real life....If bondage, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism is someone's "thing" then they should look for like minded partners...The reason women are talking about 50 Shades is timing, readability, and media hype, not preferences in the bedroom...

To the OP, if you have to ask what women prefer, you're not paying attention during sex...As Sing stated, SOME women like dominance with SOME men SOME of the time...Get it?... it depends on the circumstances and has nothing to do with gender roles or modern culture...For examples see "The Story of O", the Marquis de Sade's "Juliette" and "Justine", Rice's trilogy "The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty" and "Exit to Eden" ..."50 Shades of Grey" is nothing new...

I want a man, who knows how to be dominant, when the time is appropriate. He should also be a equal partner in our "relationship".

Stanley Kubrick, unimaginative director, ...ok... not to mention
Vladimir Nabokov himself wrote the screenplay.

50 Shades? Not worth the paper it's printed on, and in no way to be taken as a guide to actual women.

I think preference in the bedroom can be a reason some women are talking about it. Or that they're at least curious about it. But, there are a lot of books out there along the same lines. The 50 shades books just happened to hit it big at the right time, so those are the popular ones right now.

I suppose it could be preferences in the BR driving the chitchat around the water cooler, but I think it has more to do with timing, just like you said...The real reason women (and some men) are talking about 50 Shades is because it's "the" topic right now ....The books are not even average in terms of good phrasing and they contain nothing new as to story line or sexual acts and preferences..... Besides, men and women have communicated their sexual preferences instinctively in the bedroom and out since the beginning of time....

Bravo!

I think men and woman are already hardwired by nature for one sex to be more dominate and the other more submissive not to mean that a man should run all over a woman, men having a more dominate personality and superior physical strength (and I refer here to the majority, there of coarse are always exceptions to the rules)should temper these aspects with both kindness and wisdom towards are female counterpart.

As Humans we tend to forget at times that we also are part of nature, already predisposed to perform are different roles as men and woman, men for the most part being hunter gathers and woman being the nurturers, a simple truth will always remain between the genders, men can't have babies and therefore are less nurturing then woman, but overall I believe men and woman are more alike then dis-alike, woman just haven't been out in the mainstream long enough to exhibit more of the negative human personality traits, after all we both come from the same.

Miko, you are talking like a teenager!...Dominance and submission has always been debated because there is no precise definition of roles when it comes to sexual activity between men and women!...Physical strength is NEVER a consideration in CONSENSUAL sexual activity...
Dominance and submission is about behaviors, customs, rituals, and most of all CONTROL...It's mental, not physical, and includes things like role play (erotic), pretend resistance or rejection, and slavery...ALL aspects of dominance and submission are NEGOTIATED and INTERCHANGEABLE depending on the couples "preferences" (there's that word again )...
Suggestion, stop discussing sexual activity based on 50 Shades and start reading and basing it on non fiction books about the psychology and physiology of sexual behavior in humans...

Okey-Dokey

Is that teen speak for OK?.....

Oh, I agree. They're not written very well. They're just the popular books at the moment that everyone is discussing.

Go in the kitchen and make me a sandwich your master has spoken

Oooooo, so dominating!