Poll Results
© Reuters/Atlantic Wire
About 90 million Americans believe aliens exist. Some 66 million of us think aliens landed at Roswell in 1948. These are the things you learn when there's a lull in political news and pollsters get to ask whatever questions they want.

Public Policy Polling has raised weird polls to an art form. During last year's presidential campaign, the firm earned a bit of a reputation for its unorthodox questions; for example, "If God exists, do you approve of its handling of natural disasters?"

Today PPP released the results of a national survey looking at common conspiracy theories. Broken down by topic and cross-referenced by political preference, the results will not inspire a lot of patriotism. If you need to defend your fellow countrymen, be sure to note that the margin of error is 2.8 percent.

We took the findings and arranged them from most- to least-believed. And, just to inspire additional shame, figured out how many actual Americans that meant must believe in things like the danger of fluoride in water. (28 million, if you're wondering.)

View the full question asked for each conspiracy.

Conspiracy Percent believing Number of Americans believing
JFK was killed by conspiracy 51 percent 160,096,160
Bush intentionally misled on Iraq WMDs 44 percent 138,122,178
Global warming is a hoax 37 percent 116,148,195
Aliens exist 29 percent 91,035,072
New World Order 28 percent 87,895,931
Hussein was involved in 9/11 28 percent 87,895,931
A UFO crashed at Roswell 21 percent 65,921,948
Vaccines are linked to autism 20 percent 62,782,808
The government controls minds with TV 15 percent 47,087,106
Medical industry invents diseases 15 percent 47,087,106
CIA developed crack 14 percent 43,947,966
Bigfoot exists 14 percent 43,947,966
Obama is the Antichrist 13 percent 40,808,825
The government allowed 9/11 11 percent 34,530,544
Fluoride is dangerous 9 percent 28,252,264
The moon landing was faked 7 percent 21,973,983
Bin Laden is alive 6 percent 18,834,842
Airplane contrails are sinister chemicals 5 percent 15,695,702
McCartney died in 1966 5 percent 15,695,702
Lizard people control politics 4 percent 12,556,562

Just to further inspire conversation, PPP broke down belief in each theory by whom the respondent supported in the 2012 election. This yielded some genuinely interesting results.

For example, only three conspiracies were more commonly believed by Obama supporters: that Bush intentionally misled America about Iraq's WMDs (a massive 69 percent of his supporters believe that one), that the CIA launched the crack epidemic, and that the moon landing was faked. There are two theories with equal support among Obama and Romney supporters: that aliens exist and the one about fluoridation. Everything else, from lizard people to vaccines and autism to global warming being a hoax? Believed by more Romney supporters.

No conspiracy was less commonly believed than one suggesting that the government is populated by lizard people. But that's mostly because only 2 percent of Obama supporters believe the theory while 5 percent of Romney supporters do.

OMG,those Reptilians are REAL!
We been told here all the time!
And now THEY are trying to sweep it under the Rug again!

People's Credulity really has no boundaries,has it?

never heard of the "McCartney died in 1966" CT... so who divorced his one legged wife?


and no Elvis?...

it's getting more and more convoluted!

https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Flat_Earth_Society


Becoming a Conspiracy Theorist

Not an easy task. First, not everyone is cut from the right thread to become a conspiracy theorist. A particular mix of rapid analytical ability must combine with a phenominal talent for creative deduction. (See Creativity ).

Second, an aspiring conspiracy theorist must be a vehement individualist. You have to truly know inside that your ideas are inherently more valid than everyone else's. Science, public education, religion, and your teachers telling you that you're a ****ing psycho... all this must be tossed to the side in favor of the truth you know is within you.

It's easiest to start small. Begin with something already established. The Kennedy assassination is a good choice, and an entry-point for the burgeoning conspiracy theorist. Kennedy was a great president. Why would he be shot? The answer is simple. A world leader of his talent might very well have caused world peace to flood o'er the lands. If there was peace, we'd have no-one left to kill. Ah yes, we can easily see that the Kennedy Assassination was a set up.

Never mind that thousands of people took tens of thousands of pictures, and captured virtually every single angle of the motorcade procession, from every conceivable point. The CIA had already guessed that NOBODY would be looking at that grassy knoll, or the book suppository. Ignore all that "factual evidence" crap. You've seen the movie 13 Days. The Joint Chiefs hated that f**king hippie in the oval office. They set it all up.
Locating Existing Conspiracy Theorists

Conspiracy Theorists are EVERYWHERE! And We are being WATCHED! I tell you it's the CIA! They are watching over us because they see the threat WE present! Or, the threat they present. Yeah, 'cause I'm not a conspiracy theorist. I believe everything that the government tells me, because America is run by good and honest people who only hide important military secrets, and even then, only when absolutely necessary... Yeah...

Conspiracy theorists are notoriously hard to locate. They aren't on Uncyclopedia, that's for sure. If you do a websearch on conspiracy theorists, all you'll find are historic documentation unearthed by government researchers tracking down filthy terrorists...
Places To Look for Conspiracy Theorists
Under a Rock

Oh, like you have a better Idea?
Your Next Door Neighbor's House

They're all in on it. Isn't he married to an Asian Chick? Of course she looks hot in a bikini, that's the way international espionage works. Find a hot chick, train her to be a spy, and her beauty will disarm male espionage agents, making her a more effective weapon. Hell, they probably got assigned to watch over you, and are spying on you right now. Better purchase a handgun or a sword or something. You're going to have to kill them sooner or later, I guaran-f**king-tee it.
Obligatory Quote

“Conspiracy theories aren't real, the government just wants you to think they are so they can steal your thoughts when you aren't looking.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Cocaine

edit Websites

The following websites may be of some help. Don't tell anyone, but if you are questioned about these websites, just reply "Lando Calrissian My A*s". This is our secret code, and will identify you as a trusted source, okay? Okay.

1. http://www.conspiracy.net
2. http://www.zetatalk.com


Under NO circumstances should you ever visit these websites below. All of these are owned/operated/sponsored/monitored by government agencies.

1. White House Jesus, don't even read this one aloud! They probably have a spy satellite looking at me right now as I type this. Oh god, ohgodohgodohgod...
2. Central Intelligence Agency Visiting this website alerts the CIA to your interest, and special teams known as telemarketers will begin contacting you gathering various bits and pieces of information. If you are contacted by anyone over the phone inquiring about bills, just scream Go to hell you CIA bastard (or whore)!
3. National Security Agency This web page sets a national flag to monitor your computer's activity on the interweb, 24-7. You are so ****ed!
4. Slashdot (A Notable propaganda outlet, I must say!)
5. Google The best search engine? Oh yeah, like some punk college student came up with that. And one of them is RUSSIAN! Don't even get me Started on this pack of wolves
6. Wikipedia Wikipedia is a rogue website, and it used to be a very frequent hangout for hackers and other subersives. However, since 1984 it has been taken over by government agencies, and is often used to monitor "undesirable" contributors. Everything you read on Wikipedia is suspect, and has definitely been scrubbed of all undesired information, so that the population can be more easily misled in the future. Come on, a website, for free, devoted to information? Do you think that some Suit is gonna write off his hard-earned stock-options for the good of the whole world? Yeah right!

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Conspiracy_Theorists

The lizard people one is so low because they killed everyone who knew the truth....

and then used their reptilian mind control to make us forget about the killings... the bastards, i hate them...they killed my goldfish, he saw to much, I think...

and Goldfish have such a short Memory-and- Attention-Span!
Imagine what hey would do,say,to an Elephant!

not to mention goldfish can only see about a foot and a half away...

The reptilians covered it up by making a clever movie for TV called 'V'

"clever" ... not so sure there...

i'm not real sure where evolution is going with goldfish... they seem to be a dead end...

if you let it grow big enough,you can eat that Carp!


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goldfish

uh uhh... they started in russia....


http://beforeitsnews.com/beyond-science/2013/04/russian-village-plagued-by-ufo-fleet-say-peasants-demand-un-action-2441582.html

damn peasants... always demanding something....

even Lenin had trouble with them!

This is the stat that surprises me the most. Given the character traits & behaviour of politicians I would have thought the percentages would run the other way, with about 97% believing that almost all politicians were lizard people...I mean "everybody knows" they are, so the general population appears even dumber than I gave them credit for.

I note too that my own pet CT regarding central banks isn't even listed...I guess it must be too easy to prove the conspiracy is real, so "they" are trying to aweep that CT under the rug, hoping nobody notices.