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Topic: is sex really necessary in a relationship?
no photo
Fri 04/05/13 06:47 AM

Huh. I've never actually heard the term "dating relationship" until this thread, either. I figured it was just made up, but meant the same thing as dating, which covers a lot. May or may not be exclusive.


That is strange, I have heard it several times, although granted having people just say they are dating is much more common. That being said, a lot of people "dating" do consider themselves in a relationship, and do often abstain from sex for whatever reasons.


This is a personal attack and if you're going to be like that about it then fine and there's not much point in continuing with this.


And "See, this is what women do." is not? You spouted that pretty derogatorily outwards and wonder why you got a negative response?

no photo
Fri 04/05/13 06:53 AM


Huh. I've never actually heard the term "dating relationship" until this thread, either. I figured it was just made up, but meant the same thing as dating, which covers a lot. May or may not be exclusive.


That is strange, I have heard it several times, although granted having people just say they are dating is much more common. That being said, a lot of people "dating" do consider themselves in a relationship, and do often abstain from sex for whatever reasons.


This is a personal attack and if you're going to be like that about it then fine and there's not much point in continuing with this.


And "See, this is what women do." is not? You spouted that pretty derogatorily outwards and wonder why you got a negative response?

ive heard people say they're dating and people say they're in a relation, but never a dating relationship. That's a new term to me. Like I said, though, I just assume it means dating. And it's not something to argue about.

1Cynderella's photo
Fri 04/05/13 07:03 AM

A relationship without sex ?
SURE !
...It's called FRIENDS !
:wink:


There are situations where that is not exactly right. My fiance and i had a healthy sexual relationship for two years before he suffered a medical condition that made sex impossible. Regardless of the sex ban, we continued our relationship for quite a while based on stronger feelings than friendship. Our romantic feelings didn't die away because we couldn't act on them physically.

Looking back, i also recall we both had more than friendly feelings for each other for the 6 months were dated prior to our first time together too.

So, I'm going to suggest that while sex is preferable in any romantic relationship, it is not the only thing that holds the romance together.flowerforyou

no photo
Fri 04/05/13 07:13 AM


Huh. I've never actually heard the term "dating relationship" until this thread, either. I figured it was just made up, but meant the same thing as dating, which covers a lot. May or may not be exclusive.


That is strange, I have heard it several times, although granted having people just say they are dating is much more common. That being said, a lot of people "dating" do consider themselves in a relationship, and do often abstain from sex for whatever reasons.


This is a personal attack and if you're going to be like that about it then fine and there's not much point in continuing with this.


And "See, this is what women do." is not? You spouted that pretty derogatorily outwards and wonder why you got a negative response?




sorry Kart, but I gotta fo with: personal attacks are under no circumstances acceptable - sometimes a negative opinion is expressed but can be done so in a way that does not constitute a personal attack. I know this is a little off topic, and I don't really see anything I'd consider a personal attack until your last statement. The only reason I even mention it is because I have had those personal attacks my way....the attacker then tries to turn the tables to make it sound like I deserved it simply by making a statement he did not like....ummmm....no.

do you think men are less able to accept a negative opinion from a woman without it becoming an ego and power thing?

no photo
Fri 04/05/13 07:31 AM

sorry Kart, but I gotta fo with: personal attacks are under no circumstances acceptable - sometimes a negative opinion is expressed but can be done so in a way that does not constitute a personal attack. I know this is a little off topic, and I don't really see anything I'd consider a personal attack until your last statement. The only reason I even mention it is because I have had those personal attacks my way....the attacker then tries to turn the tables to make it sound like I deserved it simply by making a statement he did not like....ummmm....no.

do you think men are less able to accept a negative opinion from a woman without it becoming an ego and power thing?


I agree that personal attacks are unacceptable in any form, however I also accept that people saying certain things are going to set people off no matter their intent. If you make a generalized sweeping comment or gesture, then you should be prepared for the repressions of such an act. We all have seen the blow ups that happen from time to time when someone inserts their foot into their mouth and people take it the wrong way. I obviously did not feel any offense personally, but my statement stands, that I can understand why someone would feel offended and aggravated at such a sweeping statement and react negatively towards it.

I think each person reacts differently to negative comments, and many a person does let it become an ego or power thing.

oldhippie1952's photo
Fri 04/05/13 07:40 AM
Back to topic:

It depends on what type of relationship. If friends, no, of course not.

If more than friends, it is inevitable. The longing to grow closer.

Jtevans's photo
Fri 04/05/13 07:43 AM
mods are gonna start removing posts.some of y'all need to play nicer indifferent

ViaMusica's photo
Fri 04/05/13 08:28 AM

"relationship" the word, actually has a pretty broad brush. My landlord and I have a relationship - owner and tenant.

All right, now we're getting somewhere. This is "relationship" in the sense I'm using the word -- as an abstract sociological term, a descriptor used by an external party, rather than by the individuals involved to describe their own status. I'd thought that would be obvious from the context of .y post, but I guess I was wrong about that. Mea culpa.

But as far as describing your dating relationship as a "relationship" that implies commitment

Well, again, let me reiterate that I'm using the term in the context of a third-party descriptor. Obviously, before someone self-identifies as being "in a relationship" they should have a talk with their putative partne (or partners in the case of poly relationships). I will additionally point out, however, that it entirely possible to have a relationship, even a sexually exclusive one, without what most might regard as 'commitment'. Not my personally preferred cup of tea, but that doesn't mean there aren't people who do it.

But I agree with Tawt in that people who have simply gone out a couple of times should not go running around saying they are in a relationship UNLESS that has been verbally agreed upon by each partner.

I agree with this as well, and never meant to imply otherwise. Again, third-party descriptor rather than first-party, etc.

I tend to approach this type of discussion from what is essentially an academic point of view, but sometimes I forget to clarify that to other participants, trusting too much to context which may in fact be invisible to those who were not expecting such an approach. Again, mea culpa.

krupa's photo
Fri 04/05/13 08:37 AM
Sex got zero to do with how much I love.

My love is the absolute loyalty and passion I hold in my heart, mind and soul.

Sex is push ups using my penis.

TawtStrat's photo
Fri 04/05/13 10:25 AM


Huh. I've never actually heard the term "dating relationship" until this thread, either. I figured it was just made up, but meant the same thing as dating, which covers a lot. May or may not be exclusive.


That is strange, I have heard it several times, although granted having people just say they are dating is much more common. That being said, a lot of people "dating" do consider themselves in a relationship, and do often abstain from sex for whatever reasons.


This is a personal attack and if you're going to be like that about it then fine and there's not much point in continuing with this.


And "See, this is what women do." is not? You spouted that pretty derogatorily outwards and wonder why you got a negative response?



Well, I commented on something that I've noticed women doing and if the lady wants to take it personally and as my blaming women for something then I'm just saying that that's getting a bit personal. I am happy enough to respond to "men are just after sex" posts, so why can't I explore that a bit and ask questions about why women blur the lines between friendships and "relationships"?

I just find the whole thing confusing and as far as I can gather, it seems to rest on a verbal agreement and that is apparently like a contract. What I guess I would like to know is whether men do it as well, or if it's just something that men go along with or if it really is about trying to impress women. I don't really expect to get an answer to that question but it does seem like a bit of a game to me.


no photo
Fri 04/05/13 10:25 AM
hello are you der?

no photo
Fri 04/05/13 03:46 PM
Yeah .I am fully agree with you.

vivian77's photo
Fri 04/05/13 03:59 PM
Let me tell you how i see sex. To me sex is like a cooking salt. Some people can't eat salt because of medical reason but does that mean that those people still don't enjoy home cook meal. Of course they do, the same thing with sex in a relationship. Without it a strong relationship should stand and if sex in involved it will make it even better. That's how i see sex.

vivian77's photo
Fri 04/05/13 04:04 PM
are you talking to me?

liquidlesbian's photo
Sat 04/06/13 06:59 AM
Depends on the humans involved.

MrMomDave's photo
Sat 04/06/13 07:29 AM
It depends on the people involved, and how the two individuals communicate their love. Read about love the 5love languages, and it will make more sense. For me, the physical part of the relationship is super important. That includes everything from holding hands to sex, and holding each other. Some people feel love when their partner says thank you, or helps around the house.

madmim's photo
Sat 04/06/13 08:55 AM
I'm assuming that this question is geared toward the "dating relationship" everyone is talking about or a marriage.

I agree that it definitely depends on the people involved. I'm actually a little shocked and amazed at some of the responses to this question; I feel like a horrible person for my own thoughts on the topic.

As an older woman I have friends who have used sex as a "weapon" in their relationships, I have friends who admit they haven't had sex with their spouse (or significant other) in over a year, and I have friends who have a very healthy sexual rlationship with their partner. Not all are happy...obviously. As a divorced woman, I can honestly say that sex is an important factor in a relationship, at least for me. You also have to consider the sexual compatibility of your partner.

Now,you might have a relationship where the sex is incredible, but your partner is a complete jerk when it comes to everything else...in which case the relationship will fail. The same can be said for a relationship where your partner is the most understanding, helpful, respectful, caring, etc. individual around, but the sex is awful...again the relationship will fail. In both cases, someone will NOT be happy in the relationship. I guess sex is not the "defining" factor in a relationship, but it is VERY important.

rindamin666's photo
Sat 04/06/13 11:31 AM

:/

Might not necesary if the both person dnt want to do that. But if one wants to do then the other should let it coz it may give the mind satisfaction to that person which is necesary for a relationship.

no photo
Sat 04/06/13 12:14 PM
:smile: u r so sexy

jomacia's photo
Sun 04/07/13 11:23 AM
You got that rightflowerforyou

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