100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
Previous
| Topic: Affection | |
|---|---|
|
|
|
Because something I posted on another thread put me in mind of this topic, let me bring it to the collective Mingle2 mind:
How much affection do you feel is necessary for a healthy long-term relationship or marriage? Suppose that you're in a marriage or committed relationship where you live with your partner and have been sexually intimate with them, and neither of you is elderly or infirm to the point of being incapable of engaging in sex or other physical intimacy. Should there come a point where the two of you barely touch each other, don't snuggle or cuddle or make out, and don't engage in sex or other pleasurable physical play? Or do you feel that these things are essential to keeping the attraction and passion - and dare I say love - alive? How about verbal affection? Do you feel it is important to tell your partner that you love them? Do you feel you need to hear those words periodically? If so, how often? And do you think that nice gestures like doing household tasks unasked, running errands especially to make your partner's life happier or easier, or doing other non-verbal and non-physical acts of affection are a substitute for verbal or physical affection? If so, to what extent? I'm just curious to see how the views of others match up with my own. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
How do you suppose that Al Bundy would answer?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
ViaMusica
on
Sun 03/17/13 06:12 PM
|
|
See, that's the thing. Personally, I don't want a relationship like theirs, nor like Archie and Edith Bunker's, etc.
I thrive on affection, both giving and receiving. Verbal and physical, and little gestures as well. Without all three of the above, I feel like a houseplant that isn't getting watered regularly. Also, having affection makes it easier to weather the storms that inevitably come along in life. A couple may disagree and even argue vehemently at times... they may get very angry at each other now and then. But if they also demonstrate affection frequently, that's the glue that helps hold them together when otherwise they might fall apart. At least, that's how it seems to me. For all I know, maybe I'm completely wrong about that. My longest-lasting relationship (ten years) was also the one with the lowest frequency of verbal and physical affection from my partner, but we had other factors holding us together (necessity and sheer cussedness, as well as a genuine pre-existing friendship). In the end, however, I still didn't feel like it was enough without overt affection and tenderness. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
If you are married and are not getting physical affection then you have a right to be unhappy and unsatisfied. I am sure that is in breech of your marital rights.
We have only one life. Please do not waste your time with a man who will not treasure you and relish you. If you think there is a chance he still wants you and that you turn him on, then you need to make that happpen. If he is a dud...then move on. I am sure others will advice otherwise, but time is ticking and you would be surprised how much another man can make you alive. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I invest what is invested into me.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
ViaMusica
on
Sun 03/17/13 06:17 PM
|
|
Julie, my marriage was like that. In the end, like Brenda and Eddie from Billy Joel's Scenes From An Italian Restaurant, we "parted the closest of friends".
Now I'm trying to figure out how my views on what I want from future relationships match up to those held by others. Trying to figure out where I am on the spectrum - whether I'd be considered average or needy or whatever. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I am very affectionate. Especially hugging and kissing and sweet talking. Believe it or not.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Julie, my marriage was like that. In the end, like Brenda and Eddie from Billy Joel's Scenes From An Italian Restaurant, we "parted the closest of friends". Now I'm trying to figure out how my views on what I want from future relationships match up to those held by others. Trying to figure out where I am on the spectrum - whether I'd be considered average or needy or whatever. I would say to be how you feel. If you feel sexy then you are going to be just that. When you are alone and listening to music and identifying with the words...you are who they are singing about. You are who men sing about. A women, needing some sexual love, and running her hands over her body. You are not needy, nor average, you are a sexual woman and you know you are...when you take a deep breath and breathe it in...I can already feel it in you. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I believe it should be a constant thing that comes naturally... Expressed when it's felt and never forced. Of course it's going to calm down a little from the novelty period of the first few years of the relationship, but it should never "stop". If there comes a time that it becomes a rarity that one or both people feel that affection, it'd be critical to assess why that's happening. What's changed, conflicts if any, and what to do to bring the passion back into things. I can't say I speak from experience of having been in any very long term relationship nor a marriage, but that's my view on it regardless.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
HeadnHeart
on
Sun 03/17/13 08:39 PM
|
|
Because something I posted on another thread put me in mind of this topic, let me bring it to the collective Mingle2 mind: How much affection do you feel is necessary for a healthy long-term relationship or marriage? Suppose that you're in a marriage or committed relationship where you live with your partner and have been sexually intimate with them, and neither of you is elderly or infirm to the point of being incapable of engaging in sex or other physical intimacy. Should there come a point where the two of you barely touch each other, don't snuggle or cuddle or make out, and don't engage in sex or other pleasurable physical play? Or do you feel that these things are essential to keeping the attraction and passion - and dare I say love - alive? How about verbal affection? Do you feel it is important to tell your partner that you love them? Do you feel you need to hear those words periodically? If so, how often? And do you think that nice gestures like doing household tasks unasked, running errands especially to make your partner's life happier or easier, or doing other non-verbal and non-physical acts of affection are a substitute for verbal or physical affection? If so, to what extent? I'm just curious to see how the views of others match up with my own. I think physical can be daily, maybe more some days and less others. Possibly min of twice a week or I may be unhappy. It's important to me. Verbal. I say things daily, some simple gestures and other times more poetically or with deeper insight. I would do some errands, tasks chores with the other two things in place. Not a substitute but additional, time permitting of course... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Even though we'd been together for 30 years my husband and I still had tons of affection in our relationship. (And play and fun etc.)...We usually went out dancing once or twice a week. And every so often we'd even dance down the aisle in a supermarket if a song came on that we liked. (And no one was around.)...We held hands and snuck kisses when we went out and had fun playing "teenagers in love!"...The affection and play and fun went on at home too! Neither one of us wanted to act like "old fogeys!" And we said "I love you" to each other a lot too. And gave each other praise and credit and support etc...Both of us had been divorced earlier in life and we didn't want our marriage to become dull or boring or routine. Or lack-luster etc.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Even though we'd been together for 30 years my husband and I still had tons of affection in our relationship. (And play and fun etc.)...We usually went out dancing once or twice a week. And every so often we'd even dance down the aisle in a supermarket if a song came on that we liked. (And no one was around.)...We held hands and snuck kisses when we went out and had fun playing "teenagers in love!"...The affection and play and fun went on at home too! Neither one of us wanted to act like "old fogeys!" And we said "I love you" to each other a lot too. And gave each other praise and credit and support etc...Both of us had been divorced earlier in life and we didn't want our marriage to become dull or boring or routine. Or lack-luster etc. Sounds like a wonderful relationship Claire...You were/are blessed to have experienced a love so grand...  .
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Even though we'd been together for 30 years my husband and I still had tons of affection in our relationship. (And play and fun etc.)...We usually went out dancing once or twice a week. And every so often we'd even dance down the aisle in a supermarket if a song came on that we liked. (And no one was around.)...We held hands and snuck kisses when we went out and had fun playing "teenagers in love!"...The affection and play and fun went on at home too! Neither one of us wanted to act like "old fogeys!" And we said "I love you" to each other a lot too. And gave each other praise and credit and support etc...Both of us had been divorced earlier in life and we didn't want our marriage to become dull or boring or routine. Or lack-luster etc. Sounds like a wonderful relationship Claire...You were/are blessed to have experienced a love so grand... . |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Even though we'd been together for 30 years my husband and I still had tons of affection in our relationship. (And play and fun etc.)...We usually went out dancing once or twice a week. And every so often we'd even dance down the aisle in a supermarket if a song came on that we liked. (And no one was around.)...We held hands and snuck kisses when we went out and had fun playing "teenagers in love!"...The affection and play and fun went on at home too! Neither one of us wanted to act like "old fogeys!" And we said "I love you" to each other a lot too. And gave each other praise and credit and support etc...Both of us had been divorced earlier in life and we didn't want our marriage to become dull or boring or routine. Or lack-luster etc. Sounds like a wonderful relationship Claire...You were/are blessed to have experienced a love so grand... . I have met many women who feel that way...In fact, one is my best friend...She has been alone for many years and she tells me the love they shared was enough to last a lifetime... 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
affection
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
affection (((( J )))) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
(((((((((((((((((L)))))))))))))))))))
  
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Because something I posted on another thread put me in mind of this topic, let me bring it to the collective Mingle2 mind: How much affection do you feel is necessary for a healthy long-term relationship or marriage? Suppose that you're in a marriage or committed relationship where you live with your partner and have been sexually intimate with them, and neither of you is elderly or infirm to the point of being incapable of engaging in sex or other physical intimacy. Should there come a point where the two of you barely touch each other, don't snuggle or cuddle or make out, and don't engage in sex or other pleasurable physical play? Or do you feel that these things are essential to keeping the attraction and passion - and dare I say love - alive? How about verbal affection? Do you feel it is important to tell your partner that you love them? Do you feel you need to hear those words periodically? If so, how often? And do you think that nice gestures like doing household tasks unasked, running errands especially to make your partner's life happier or easier, or doing other non-verbal and non-physical acts of affection are a substitute for verbal or physical affection? If so, to what extent? I'm just curious to see how the views of others match up with my own. If the affection goes away and we are no longer sexually intimate, there's something terribly wrong with the relationship. Same as if we're unable to tell each other how we feel anymore. I'm an affectionate person to begin with. So, it would need to be there for the relationship to go anywhere from the start. If it disappears, the relationship is not going to survive. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I wanna still be doing the bump n grind when I am 70, so affection and all that jazz will be mandatory.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
Toodygirl5
on
Wed 03/20/13 03:31 PM
|
|
Yes, pleasurable physical play are essential to keeping the attraction and passion alive. However, Love is not based on these things.
I need less verbal affection and more physical affection. I live near Missouri.. Show me state!  Nothing is a substitute for physical affection!! Of course, I would never want to pick up, after a grown man, so I would just make sure he is neat and know how to maintain a nice place to live before we ever became a couple. Most Older men I meet are capable of this, they have had much practice being divorced or widower men. |
|
|
|
|
