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| Topic: The tangled web we weave | |
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I think being honest is always the best route. Lying, or not letting them know what is going on solves nothing and is very childesh to say the least. Ok, I get that, but those are two different scenarios I posted. So if your only just friends, not flirting or feeling chemistry, and at a far distance, what's there to let them know? I'm a liar, so it seems, my desire, justify everything.... The details aren't always so clear, I do communicate, but have had some major issues in my family with the death of my Mom. Priorities come first, before casual friendships. Maybe I'm just an azz. Judge, what you will. Sorry if you thought I was judging you because I wasn,t. I was only responding to your question about being honest. I still think it is always the best thing to do . |
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I think being honest is always the best route. Lying, or not letting them know what is going on solves nothing and is very childesh to say the least. Ok, I get that, but those are two different scenarios I posted. So if your only just friends, not flirting or feeling chemistry, and at a far distance, what's there to let them know? I'm a liar, so it seems, my desire, justify everything.... The details aren't always so clear, I do communicate, but have had some major issues in my family with the death of my Mom. Priorities come first, before casual friendships. Maybe I'm just an azz. Judge, what you will. Sorry if you thought I was judging you because I wasn,t. I was only responding to your question about being honest. I still think it is always the best thing to do . No problem, It is. Im not bent over it and surely make mistakes like anyone... |
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I think being honest is always the best route. Lying, or not letting them know what is going on solves nothing and is very childesh to say the least. Ok, I get that, but those are two different scenarios I posted. So if your only just friends, not flirting or feeling chemistry, and at a far distance, what's there to let them know? I'm a liar, so it seems, my desire, justify everything.... The details aren't always so clear, I do communicate, but have had some major issues in my family with the death of my Mom. Priorities come first, before casual friendships. Maybe I'm just an azz. Judge, what you will. Sorry if you thought I was judging you because I wasn,t. I was only responding to your question about being honest. I still think it is always the best thing to do . No problem, It is. Im not bent over it and surely make mistakes like anyone... 
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I think being honest is always the best route. Lying, or not letting them know what is going on solves nothing and is very childesh to say the least. Ok, I get that, but those are two different scenarios I posted. So if your only just friends, not flirting or feeling chemistry, and at a far distance, what's there to let them know? I'm a liar, so it seems, my desire, justify everything.... The details aren't always so clear, I do communicate, but have had some major issues in my family with the death of my Mom. Priorities come first, before casual friendships. Maybe I'm just an azz. Judge, what you will. there is nothing wrong with arranging to meet, but I agree that until you have met and know for certain what's what, it is not necessary or wise to impact your personal responsibilities at home. Now if, after meeting, you & she were to fall madly in love and you wanted a commitment, that relationship would have to be prioritized somehow if you really want it to work. and there is nothing wrong with that. but I think if you pursue something long distance you should do so knowing that you might face that decision. if you know NOW that no matter what you are not going to commit to making it work, you should not lead her on....jmho I just always hope personally, to be in a place where I can put love first if I find it  
Yes, makes good sense. She's pretty awesome, so getting to know her has been drawing me in. I didn't think to ever do LDR. The pool of lady's here in OC california, is a large pool, and I don't find it tough to meet or go out and have fun. But sometimes connections can getcha thinking a bit. I liked your last line. Catch 22. We meet and really dig each other? or just leave it alone and stay friends online....What will be, will be. I hold no expectations. It all matters on her too. Just thought this would be an interesting topic....But, I think some here, are afraid of spiders... 
perhaps they should take some time to watch the spiders and learn. no matter how often their webs are destroyed they weave another, precisley, quickly and have a catch usually within a few minutes. I like what you said about connections can get you thinking....what I take that to mean is that you & your LDR possible have some kinda magic that goes above & beyond somehow. I have to congratulate you for not only recognizing it but also understanding the value. the problem I have had on the internet, more than once, is developing that connection that is so keen it makes you think WOW I didn't think I could feel this way....only to have the guy (who also said he felt the connection) not really realize the value in terms of the uniqueness of that kind of connection it can be a difficult choice when it requires travel and relocation though....even with a special connection |
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I think some here, are afraid of spiders...
I'm afraid of spiders 
as to your original post.. part one.. I'd approach it like any other.. take lots of time to get to know the other well enough to see if there COULD be a connection.. friendship is a good base to start at though.. in my opinion.. and discovering how that person reacts to situations that arise is a good gauge to seeing if that person fits with your moral compass AND if she has the qualities you desire in a partner.. for part 2.. I don't think you should discount 'chemistry' without actually meeting face to face with someone.. providing one day you do decide to meet.. I'd suggest meeting somewhere on neutral ground, this way you'll both be on equal footing.. but being up front is important.. not that there has to be expectations, but there does have to be a mutual understanding of your situations.. that said.. good luck & take your time.. there's no rush.. what will be.. will..
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Online, in these forums anyway, you can meet some really cool people. If you do meet someone, and have some interest and chemistry, but they are far away. Knowing you have some responsibility keeping you where your at. Ie. I have two younger daughters that need me around. So I can't just uproot, like I may if things were different. How do YOU approach this? Or you met someone, get along well and but a romantic chemistry doesn't come in to play, do you feel the need to spell it out to them? Is it wrong or right to chat but make no promises for something further? Thoughts? , give it time. that is my advice. since there is chemistry you may want to rush things but, internet chemistry can be false. You have two baby gals so just take it slow. If the woman is pressuring you to meet, then let her travel to you, to a close neutral area. Just be careful...and there is nothing wrong with being direct and assured about these conditions because until you finally do meet, the gal you have chemistry with could be fooling you...and making a fool of you. Excellent; there is no such thing as "internet chemistry" can't be; it's like an oxymoron. The old term "Fool's gold" from the old Gold rush days is still a good term and people who have chased fool's gold' always ended up the fool, be it in mining for real gold or the gold of someone's heart. |
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Online, in these forums anyway, you can meet some really cool people. If you do meet someone, and have some interest and chemistry, but they are far away. Knowing you have some responsibility keeping you where your at. Ie. I have two younger daughters that need me around. So I can't just uproot, like I may if things were different. How do YOU approach this? Or you met someone, get along well and but a romantic chemistry doesn't come in to play, do you feel the need to spell it out to them? Is it wrong or right to chat but make no promises for something further? Thoughts? , give it time. that is my advice. since there is chemistry you may want to rush things but, internet chemistry can be false. You have two baby gals so just take it slow. If the woman is pressuring you to meet, then let her travel to you, to a close neutral area. Just be careful...and there is nothing wrong with being direct and assured about these conditions because until you finally do meet, the gal you have chemistry with could be fooling you...and making a fool of you. Excellent; there is no such thing as "internet chemistry" can't be; it's like an oxymoron. The old term "Fool's gold" from the old Gold rush days is still a good term and people who have chased fool's gold' always ended up the fool, be it in mining for real gold or the gold of someone's heart. You did read it says. Some INTEREST and chemistry. Shared experience, words, inflection and other characteristics and the nature in which two can get along and be associated, if they are becoming/become friends. Through other communication besides these forums. Not all are pretenders, there are some genuine people on here, just so ya know. But I hear your caution... |
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