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| Topic: You See, We Guys.. | |
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Over 7 hours later... Sorry, I was waiting for you to take control.  
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Some men can be a little passive. Maybe they were raised this way and taught that this is the key to being a gentleman or ?...They seem to think that being "nice" and "pleasing" (and even compliant) is the way to win a woman's heart....I wouldn't want a controlling and dominant man. But I'm not looking for a total "people-pleaser" either...It's great when both partners have strong "selves" of their own (And preferences and interests and ideas etc.)...It's fun to take turns at suggesting activities and making compromises when need be...I don't want to be controlled or told "what to do." And I don't want to be placed in a "controlling role" either...It's more fun to be equals and best-friends. And decide on things together. (When mutual decisions need to be made.) Exactly this and yes A-FLIPPIN-MEN!! My last relationship ultimatley died because as sweet as he was, he was raised by a domineering mother who still controlled him. Yes, he was a perfect gentleman, but to the point where he had no spine, and I had to make every single decision from the minor ones to the major ones. A little lady can only take so much of the load...when I ask for help, I'd like just that...not someone to say "whatever you decide is good for me dear". 
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I can definitely step up and take more control if its warranted. I am also good with asking for an opinion or some balance of equality, but I can make decisions and you'll like them too. ha. I can be nice, but not weak. Adapting within my natural personality seems to fit. Never had a problem with being too passive or too controlling. Im good like that.
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Some men can be a little passive. Maybe they were raised this way and taught that this is the key to being a gentleman or ?...They seem to think that being "nice" and "pleasing" (and even compliant) is the way to win a woman's heart....I wouldn't want a controlling and dominant man. But I'm not looking for a total "people-pleaser" either...It's great when both partners have strong "selves" of their own (And preferences and interests and ideas etc.)...It's fun to take turns at suggesting activities and making compromises when need be...I don't want to be controlled or told "what to do." And I don't want to be placed in a "controlling role" either...It's more fun to be equals and best-friends. And decide on things together. (When mutual decisions need to be made.) Exactly this and yes A-FLIPPIN-MEN!! My last relationship ultimatley died because as sweet as he was, he was raised by a domineering mother who still controlled him. Yes, he was a perfect gentleman, but to the point where he had no spine, and I had to make every single decision from the minor ones to the major ones. A little lady can only take so much of the load...when I ask for help, I'd like just that...not someone to say "whatever you decide is good for me dear". It does seem that mom’s tend, or least try to, raise, a guy to be a gentlemen and treat girls nicely as the role model for the perfect husband and yet those guys seem to be passed over of the bad boy. I’m not talking about the nice guy with no spin but the one that really care about how a girl feels. |
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Edited by
ruth74
on
Wed 03/13/13 05:54 PM
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Some men can be a little passive. Maybe they were raised this way and taught that this is the key to being a gentleman or ?...They seem to think that being "nice" and "pleasing" (and even compliant) is the way to win a woman's heart....I wouldn't want a controlling and dominant man. But I'm not looking for a total "people-pleaser" either...It's great when both partners have strong "selves" of their own (And preferences and interests and ideas etc.)...It's fun to take turns at suggesting activities and making compromises when need be...I don't want to be controlled or told "what to do." And I don't want to be placed in a "controlling role" either...It's more fun to be equals and best-friends. And decide on things together. (When mutual decisions need to be made.) Exactly this and yes A-FLIPPIN-MEN!! My last relationship ultimatley died because as sweet as he was, he was raised by a domineering mother who still controlled him. Yes, he was a perfect gentleman, but to the point where he had no spine, and I had to make every single decision from the minor ones to the major ones. A little lady can only take so much of the load...when I ask for help, I'd like just that...not someone to say "whatever you decide is good for me dear". It does seem that mom’s tend, or least try to, raise, a guy to be a gentlemen and treat girls nicely as the role model for the perfect husband and yet those guys seem to be passed over of the bad boy. I’m not talking about the nice guy with no spin but the one that really care about how a girl feels. It's true!! You often hear "why is such a nice girl attracted to the 'bad boys?'" There's a difference though between a gentleman's firm hand to hold onto and a limp appendage that you have to lead through Wal Mart....sometime a girl wants to be yanked by her boyfriend into an alley for a quick soul drenching kiss as opposed to a hesitant pat on the back. |
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Some men can be a little passive. Maybe they were raised this way and taught that this is the key to being a gentleman or ?...They seem to think that being "nice" and "pleasing" (and even compliant) is the way to win a woman's heart....I wouldn't want a controlling and dominant man. But I'm not looking for a total "people-pleaser" either...It's great when both partners have strong "selves" of their own (And preferences and interests and ideas etc.)...It's fun to take turns at suggesting activities and making compromises when need be...I don't want to be controlled or told "what to do." And I don't want to be placed in a "controlling role" either...It's more fun to be equals and best-friends. And decide on things together. (When mutual decisions need to be made.) Exactly this and yes A-FLIPPIN-MEN!! My last relationship ultimatley died because as sweet as he was, he was raised by a domineering mother who still controlled him. Yes, he was a perfect gentleman, but to the point where he had no spine, and I had to make every single decision from the minor ones to the major ones. A little lady can only take so much of the load...when I ask for help, I'd like just that...not someone to say "whatever you decide is good for me dear". It does seem that mom’s tend, or least try to, raise, a guy to be a gentlemen and treat girls nicely as the role model for the perfect husband and yet those guys seem to be passed over of the bad boy. I’m not talking about the nice guy with no spin but the one that really care about how a girl feels. It's true!! You often hear "why is such a nice girl attracted to the 'bad boys?'" There's a difference though between a gentleman's firm hand to hold onto and a limp appendage that you have to lead through Wal Mart....sometime a girl wants to be yanked by her boyfriend into an alley for a quick soul drenching kiss as opposed to a hesitant pat on the back. bravo I say...very nice indeed. 
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....just never know these days Most of us are WELL aware how strong, dynamic, and absolutely in control modern women are. (history and room for improvement aside) Occasionally I've become aware that "sometimes" women like men to (for lack of better phrasing) "take control". Be darn well sure I'm watching out for you but saying, "and the lady will have" at a restaurant....is probably NOT going to happen. In what ways do you want your man to, "step up"? If you can do nothing right as a man, sexually satisfy my every aching need. Goodbye. |
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Great posts...Sometimes I wonder if the men who try too hard to be "nice" (and gentleman) are the ones who end-up resenting women. (Passive-aggressive behavior.)...First of all what does it mean to be a gentleman? It is about being caring and respectful? Or is it about deferring and "giving-in" to women and becoming a total "go-along?"....My first husband had a Mom who didn't want to let him "go" or "grow-up." On the surface he praised his Mom all the time but I know he secretly resented her. And his "old baggage" with his Mom transferred over to me and all women in general...His Mom "trained" him to be a gentleman and he played the role. But he sought revenge at times in subtle (passive-aggressive) ways. So I can relate to ruth's experiences.
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I believe each person in a relationship should control only theirself. (if the love is real)
Loyal faith requires honest integrity. |
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