glad your better... divorce can be very rough...

You're only beautiful young lady.
What I would give to be near your age.
Best to you, darlin'.

I was logging out when I read the last 4 posts...we do come together when needed and that's what the human spirit is about. I lost 2 sons 20 and 24 16 months apart.i can share that now having done the steps needed to heal. And support was key. My point is none of us gets off this marble with out wounds to our souls. So enjoy the good days cause the trick is to have more of them than not on your final tally sheet! :)

You just have to find the right person, I have a daughter who 3 and i know what your talking about. I am just looking for fun freinds!

Wow it is sad that some things don't change all that much over the years! Been in your shoes as a single parent before some of the modern help that is available now existed but even that was not terminal so chin up.

To get different results you have to change your frame of mind, choices, and responses when someone does you dirt.

Your single, you have a kid, so what? That is the norm more than the exception in today's world. Get off the pitty-pot and deal with it. Certainly stop apologizing for having a kid. You have a right to be a parent and weather you made the choice, or it was forced on you, it is a fact of life your single and a parent and it really doesn't matter what age your kid is they are all great in their own way. And an asset in your life; not a liability. Especially if you are the responsible parent that is stepping up and living up to your promises. But keep your kids in the back ground as the icing on the cake not "baby bait". That whole idea is not only creepy but should scare you to death because it is only going to draw the wrong kind of person. This is just as true for single dad's as it is single moms.

It is great that you love your kids but the bottom line is you can't make anyone love you or your kids if they don't want to. If someone in your past didn't then have a good cry about it, write it off as their loss, and move forward. Those people don't deserve your energy or your kid. You will run into people who are not into "family" your whole life but if you take it as a personal shot in the head you are putting the target on your forehead. Stop punishing yourself. And more importantly your kids eventually. My biggest reason for maintaining a high profile about being a parent. You weed out the "never gonna fit in your life" folks. You don't have to smack someone in the face with a dirty diaper but a pic on your key ring or your profile seperates the wheat from the chaf.

But you have to be a dateable PERSON FIRST. Take a good long hard look in the mirror. Do you look like someone else's leftovers or sad sack parent? Can you carry a conversation about anything? If you would not date you why should anyone else? Yea there is only so much polish you can put on a pig but spiffing up a little won't kill you either. Hit the thrift shops and find three date outfits; this means at least one dress or sport jacket. Yea it means a clean shave and a manicure; if summer a pedicure yea even you guys. Read a little news and develop a couple of interests you can share besides your kids. (The kids will be better off for it because you will be a better example as a balanced person.) And you are teaching your kids how to recover from life's left turns rather than be punished for them.

That said you can't demand someone to love you or your kid if it is a miserable experience. If the only reason you want someone is so they can come in and clean up the mess your life is or the fact that you picked a poor choice as a co-parent that is not a great incentive to get to know you or your kid. Sounds harsh but put yourself in the other person's shoes. They want to be liked because you like them. Bring something positive to their life. Yes eventually "family life" can be part of the picture but very few people want to be a substitute hitter. And NOBODY wants to be second class person in a relationship. If you "LIVE FOR YOURE KID"S" you are committing dating/relationship suicide. Yea a few people may attempt to sacrifice themself for a while but eventually they will get enough and hit the bricks. If you get away with it for a while you are teaching your kids to make adults doormats and that is in NO ONE'S best interest. I am not advocating ditching your kids but a couple hours here and there for a date with respectable back up for your kids is not going to kill them. Nor is showing you a little respect when you talk on the phone or eventually have a date around your child. You don't have to introduce your dates as their future parent but you never really know who is in your future so teaching your kids to have a certain modicum of respectful behavior for adults in general is a good habit.

I totally get single parents MUST have help but that is something you wait for a relationship to offer not a demand for a date. Fine if you have to set higher standards to meet your responsibilities; doesn't make sense to waste valuable social time on a deadbeat rerun of what has already made life difficult and yes that does cut out some "fun" people but what is the "goal"? Hopefully balance and end result.

So get a regular sitter set up for some personal time even if you have to barter it out with another single parent. Finding other parents at parent events will be easier if you have some business cards to swap but so can just asking professionals, friends and families for introductions. Having coffee with under parents is every bit as important as play dates or beer buddies. Sitter co-ops are easy to set up and when you know your date nights are covered it is easy to tell a potential date when you are available. Four parents can share what are basically 8 date nights a month and still have people available for "wing" support. I strongly suggest that you make this a guy and gal coop of people who agree to be plutonic friends. You really want honest feed back from people it has to come from various perspectives and if you have a core of parents that on your team AND you on theirs then life gets a LOT easier. Having these plutonic friends to help enjoy some of the "holidays" will make you a lot less desperate to settle for another looser or kick around the "opportunity's you do get. If you have been burned this is easy to do but can be the kiss of death in a dating pool where your reputation will proceed you. Having a few eyes/ears out in the community also helps you see stuff you might not otherwise.

BUT; if you are still "walking wounded" from your previous relationship self impose a time out until you can get over it. All the single people in the world will not magically evaporate because you invest some time in getting your act together. If you need help "getting over it" get a professional don't make your date your shrink because you WILL NOT like the result. But don't be so hard on yourself if you are having a hard time because the floor fell out from under your life. Give yourself some time to heal. You did not get in a disaster over night and you won't get out of it overnight. Believe me the best way to be a great couple is getting through some time solo.

The only Prince(ess) Charminging's in life exist in fairy tails so dump the myth of running into someone's arms and life turning into to bliss. Yea if the "One" has showed up in your life it will give you some flutter's but take your time and grow something worth having. Date on line, chat on the phone, do your due diligence to date someone desirable. Then date; build good memories, and intimacy over common interests not just getting "temporary comfort". Or a time out from your misery. Or "parent time". Sorry that is a lifetime thing here on out weather you are on a date or not.

If you have to break the bank to make the first date then you are dating a looser. If you start at the top the only place you have to go is down in flames. Think about how special you really are if every person who gets flowers or gets laid on the first date is? It is a front or a real narcissist that has to be the center of that show. Apply the K.I.S.S. principle ("Keep it simple stupid"). All communities have free events, low cost dining, and public places to do modest things together in everyday clothes. If someone does not like you being yourself well they aren't going to stick around. This doesn't mean going out looking like a slob or necessarily in your work uniform but it does mean not putting on a costume you will be miserable wearing when they expect you to do what you did to catch them to keep them.

Same story for the cheapo look see coffee date. If you don't know enough about someone to know a common interest, like them enough to spend an hour or so with them, then all you are is and escort for someone who is looking to be seen by someone else. Have more self respect than that.

Want to be seen as a contender for dating then make an effort to put up a decent profile and current pictures; and if you are serious about dating rather than just hanging out and chatting on line then keep them updated. Set up a Skype (or other video site) account so someone can see you are who you say you are. People have choices and they just are not going to choose you if it is questionable what they are getting. As parents your dating time/dollars are limited so you really can't afford to waste them.

Marry me

here's your chance ladies, and some guys i guess... no fighting while in line...

My boyfriend of 4 years has just walked out on me and left me with my 2 year old daughter says he's fell out of love with me I don't know many parents who have been through this i don't no how I'm going to get through this alone has anyone got any advise ?

Single dad of 2 and yeh it's real hard to meet someone and when u do and make a date something always unexpected involving the kids pops up and u have to postpone and they think u did it on purpose so there goes that.. And the fact that u need someone who will respect ur responsibilities as a parent so there goes half the fish in the sea lol. I'm sure u will find someone eventually, well I hope I do anyway but yeh it's hard. Do I only date single moms? All I can manage to hook is single moms with 3 kids making the total of kids in the family to 5 and I want more but life is just too expensive these days to have any over 4.. So yeh it's tough and the thought of being lonely for the rest of ur life is always in the back of ur mind.. Anyway I wish all the single moms and dads good luck in there search to find someone suitable for them and their children, I know I need all the luck in the world aswell lol

Well said Edward! It takes a special kind of man/woman to step up to the challenge of taking care of more kids than they already have. Blended families. I always wanted ten kids before I had kids. Lol.

Naw ty :) and yeh same here always wanted 10+ and to stay with the mother forever :/
But then I got realistic lol

Just take your time, focus on finding supportive girlfriends first and build your confidence up or else a new relationship will never work. It doesn't hurt to date around though and get the attention you need, just be careful with your children.

I'm a single dad of 2 thier almost grown now .but when I got divorced I tried to do the right things .I gave her the house we had because I didn't want to displace my kids . I work 2 jobs a full time during the week and a part time on weekends.just to make ends meet and support my kids.the down fall was missing a lot of time with my kids.its a catch 22 work to support myself n kids or not wrk as much be with my kids a lot but not being able to support them .to this day it still hurts inside I've just learned to hide it.but doing what I had to do its hard to find someone who understands or accepts your situation

Hello nice meeting you I'm Deon...tag ur it

Hello nice meeting you I'm Deon...tag ur it

Am Peter. I'm single n longing to meet a mother of one or two kids! She should be caring, loving and charming! holla!

I'm so sorry abt what u going tru.u knw what b cheerful again.am here 4 u.I accept u 4 whom u r.just inbox me if u agree.hw abt ur child?b cheerful dear

So sad i fell for. Yea, am a single mother, if u wanna talk lete know

If you don't mind can we get to know eachother?

Im a single dad and not by choice. My wife passed away from hart problems. My kids are wonderful ages 7 and 10. I am looking for a nice young lady to come into my life. Who will treat me and my kids right. It's ok if you have a child but I would like to have more children. I like the idea of a large family. I have a good stable job and my own place about an hour southeast of Dallas. Is there anyone out there who is willing to talk to me. If you send me a message I will give you my email address or phone number so we can communicate faster. Best wishes to all on your search for love.