But why does a household nead a head?

Someone needs to be in the leadership role, I believe it should be the Man. Often times, there is only a Woman in the home, so I guess she could be the head then.

it doesn't, but some prefer a traditional role. Really the important thing, I think anyway, is for the roles to be comfortable ones agreed on by the couple. It is for no one to say about what goes on between a man and a woman. If they are happy with their roles that's all that counts.

Clearly women are quite capable to be the head of the household tho

It's funny when you look back at how society placed both men and women into certain "roles". Way back when, women were the homemakers while the men went to their respected jobs. There were women who did work, but the professions they occupied were roles such as a teacher or secretary. Way back when, men had the top careers while women were considered "inferior" to men and thus had to accept roles that society deemed was suited for them. It should also be noted that while men worked long days to provide in income for their family, men also took responsibility in the role of being a father.

Look at today's world. Women are more empowered and have an independent spirit. Women lead fortune 500 companies and have become experts in top fields such as medicine, law and even policy (three areas men used to dominate in). Women are still mothers and take that role with the most importance. But a lot of men do not want to be father's in that they want nothing to do with raising a child. Couples seem to give up too easily on a marriage, and would rather divorce than try to fix things.

In my opinion, I feel most men want the role of "head of the household" which sometimes leads to a man wanting respect at all times. Some guys take this role to mean that they do what a man should do, and not do things beneath them. You'd be amazed at the guys who don't want to do dishes, or take out the trash, or will even want to have a conversation (okay, so maybe you wouldn't be amazed, lol). Being the head of the household means that you take all the responsibility to do the best you can to keep a harmonious house. You have to be a parent and a lover; women seem to understand this while men just can't wrap their minds around it. Their are a lot of men who do this and more than likely they were raised in a good home; which means they saw their father's do it. A single man, dedicated to his career simply wants a woman to fit into his life and not disrupt it. Normally a guy like this will want a woman who is like minded, as both will understand one another.

As for women? I feel women are tired of raising kids and also babysitting an adult kid. In saying this, women also need to realize that they can't make a guy be what they want him to be. And I see this a lot from women (which most of you ladies deny happens, but fact is your actions speak louder here). Women will try to turn a bad boy into a loving husband, and the fact is that the percentage of that happening is very low. Women who don't have kids and have yet to marry (meaning they are focused more on their careers) will want a man who will complement them; these women value their career and they want a man to mesh well with that.

This is just my observation as the roles continue to change. As for what role I take? Well, when I was married I was a team player. My ex wanted me to be the head of the house, and I was. I valued her opinion which lead to discussions about finances, purchases, sex life, etc. It worked well for many years until we grew a part. Still, I believe that a man should lead his home, that both need to take the role of parent more seriously, and they seriously need to communicate. Find a balance in the household duties, and both need to be willing to improvise on the spot. In today's world, no role is standard; You have to multitask.

but if no role is standard and a household requires mutli tasking, doesn't that preclude one or the other of them as being the "head" ?

take household chores and finances as examples. most women now have been managing their money quite well before marrying as wage earners. under this circumstance, she would be foolish to give up control of her finances. With household chores, if both are working they really must be shared....as a team, like u mentioned

Can't a couple co-run their household?

We all bring different skills and assets to a relationship. I think the ideal couples pool their skills and assets to provide a better more rounded life, as a couple, than they could have alone. I don’t see a need for leadership in this. Just my opinion.

I believe gender roles are mostly societal and culturally based with a little innateness mixed in to round off the sharp corners As gender roles in relationships continue to integrate, they also continue to lose significance...Today a healthy relationship for me would be one in which both viewed the responsibilities to maintain the relationship as equal and crossed over gender roles naturally when circumstances dictated...In other words, housekeeping, child care, income, etc would be considered interchangeable and an equal responsibility of both without threat of diminishing the femininity of the woman or the masculinity of the man...Actually I think couples who operate this way are more sexually appealing to each other, not less....

Exactly...We're all unique individuals! No one should be pushed into a corner or stuffed into a "box!"...To be honest I wasn't allowed to cook or do "house stuff" when I was growing-up. I had to beg to make pudding or mash potatoes once in awhile...My parents expected me to be a "scholar" and focus all my energy on my studies and research etc...Every now and then my Dad let me work on the car with him and taught me plumbing and electrical work...My parents wanted me to have goals and dreams beyond getting married and having kids..I had a different upbringing than most girls probably have...Good that you "expanded your horizons" as you moved through life!...I was fortunate and met and married a non-conformist type of man who didn't want to be stuffed into a "box" either...We were happily married for nearly 25 years until he passed away in 2010...Sad! I sure miss him!

If that works for a couple fine. I gave my Own Opinion here. Most Couples do Not agree on everything and there needs to be a last decision maker. That too me should be the Man. Really, Many couples do not agree on every issue. Some couples do not agree on many things in a household and that is why they have so many problems in that Home. Imo

Not necessarily. My ex was much better at handling the finances than I was. So, she took the role of balancing our checkbook. She and I would discuss our finances, and would discuss the things we wanted to do to the house, or personal things we would like to purchase. She and I were both good planners, but I had more patience than she did. So she relied on me to help keep her on track (she could spend some money, lol). I was better at handling the yard work, gardening and cooked well on the grill. So I handled those areas cause she just sucked at those. I was more detailed oriented than she was, could see the bigger picture (which her lack of patience did not allow her to do), so she typically left the final decision to me. She trusted I knew what was best for us. So, while we were definitely a team, she looked at me as the head of the house. Now, we didn't have kids but we did raise a nephew, so when he came around we had to re-structure our lives. Adapt and improvise. Hahaha.

When I stood back and watched my husband "play chef" and "go to town" in the kitchen he was "super sexy" to me...He invented new recipes on a regular basis for various cookbooks that he planned to publish someday...I got "turned-on" when he played Dixieland Jazz to clean house...He was just so darn cute and had his very own special ways of doing things...I agree with what you wrote in your post. We don't have to play out "stiff" and outdated roles to be sexy and appealing to each other!

I don't as far as I know, I just do whatever it is needs to be done as far as I can tell.

Very nice contribution.

It sounds as if it was a mutual decision that someone, in this case you, take a leading role in the home.

I consider a couple who agree on ANY method of running their home as a partnership.

Very Nice!

Some of my most memorable dates were spent collaborating in the kitchen. And by collaborating, I mean cooking.

Exactly!..I wanted to say something like that to Cynderella...It's not about liking or disliking role playing, it's about taking equal responsibility for maintaining a healthy, happy relationship best way possible...

The way I see it is that a couple both mull things over together.
If a final decision needs being made then you can usually tell who is going to make it.

It will usually go to the person who has the expertise or the one who feels the strongest about the given dilemma/topic.

It has nothing to do with being the head.

For instance, let us say you are deciding where to go on holiday.

You fancy seeing the pyramids in Egypt but your partner really really wants to go to Mexico.

Would you really stop your partner doing something they have their heart set on?

Of course you wouldnt.

well I guess it worked for you guys, at least for awhile. I know I would not go back to a household with combined finances ever again. I also doubt I'd defer peronal descisions to anyone but expect houlsehold ones be shared.

But I can see some circumstances where if something was particularly important to the other person to let them decide. Yanno - if it's "his" or "her" thing....my thinking is very much influenced by my experience in my first marriage where the traditional model did not work, so I doubt I could return to that paradigm. but that's just me. I really do not want a boss.

often after divorce, we live alone for a protracted period (men & women both). That (to me anyway) makes it difficult imagining going back to everything being shared and one person as head of the houisehold. I don't think love requires that. good to see u goof

Men who know how to cook are hawt!!

It may be hard for people who grew-up in traditional homes to imagine not having a definite "head of the household."....Where it's hard for me to imagine the need for having a "head."...I grew-up during the 50's and early 60's but my Dad still cooked and did "house stuff." And my Mom had a lot of mechanical skills...Both my parents had input in decision-making...We didn't really have "one head." And my parents asked for my input and ideas too when it came to some decisions. I wasn't kept out of the "loop" just because I was young...We all pulled together as a "team" and had "brainstorming sessions" as a family to solve problems or make decisions.