I suffer with Agoraphobia, so this is why I can hardly find a guy to date when offline. It's not like I can just suddenly go and be social, as I always need someone to go places with. Not always with the same person. Just anyone who will help me get outside again. I still get panic attacks about it. I'm trying my best.

Yes but there's a difference between giving up dating and giving up hope that you can get a date. I would still quite happily meet someone for a date if I could actually find somebody local that would talk to me and I still ocasionally check out profiles and mail people. I stupidly subscribed to another site where you have to pay for the privelage and I contacted someone on there the other day. I got a reply last night and was told that if I wanted to chat to email her offsite. The spammers annoy me. They get your hopes up and dash them again.

I'm not saying that I don't enjoy talking to people on this forum. I think of the internet like television though. It is contact with the outside world but it is also a distraction that I use to avoid getting on with my studies. I am doing a masters degree just now and I just started my second year. Well, the course has started but I'm not really getting on with it and I didn't do any studying to prepare for it during the holidays because I was dating and talking to someone on here every day. I am not very good at disciplining myself properly and organising my time and I'll go on the internet just intending to spend a short time making a post or two and before I know it I've spent all day at it and I haven't done any work.


I live in a very small town... it's my ex's home turf, and my property sits right in the middle of his family's, even though my house is road front land, they surround me on both sides and behind me... here, everybody knows everybody else and all their business too... I'm not from this area, but I'm not going to move away because I don't want to sell, I like the country atmosphere, etc... there's very little chance that I will be able to connect with another man in this type of environment... so I came online to see if I could make friends elsewhere... since joining the dating sites, I've made a few friends that I enjoy talking too, but have never met anyone in person... so I guess I'm the reason I haven't found anyone because I'm limiting my own abilities... but, what about you? why is it that you can't find someone locally? what about when you're at college, the other students... or at church, if you attend... just curious..



Well, it's complicated and it's not something that I'm altogether comfortable talking about on public forums. But okay, you asked and we are supposedly all friends here.

I have a visual impairment. I can't travel to meet people because I have mobility problems. A date in my home town is doable but anything else is impossible. Yes, I am just partially sighted and there are people that are completely blind that seem to cope but i have had no real help apart from from my family and I have been struggling for fifteen years to try to come to terms with it and it is really difficult and frustrating.

I go to public places and I can see people but I can't see them smile or make eye contact. I have no friends to go out with and if I don't go out I can't make friends. If I do go out somewhere I'm just sitting there on my own hoping that people will come over and talk to me. The activities that I can participate in are limited by my disability and I don't like the charities because they were so unhelpful and I don't want to hang about with blind people.

I'm not religious and I don't go to church. I did try to get into the local university but for reasons that are a bit complicated that didn't work out and I am just studying with the Open University. It is a proper university but it is just for people that study on their own at home really and the only interaction with other people on this course is on the internet.

I did have a girlfriend and I really tried to make that work but she was quite nasty and hurtful about my disability and after a while she decided that she "didn't want to get involved" and we were just "friends". That ended badly and we don't talk to each other anymore. I met someone on this site and that built up my confidence and made me feel good about myself again but it didn't work out and now I am alone again with nobody to talk to apart from people on the internet and my mother on the phone.

So, there it is. I live in the city surrounded by thousands of people but I am cut off from society. I've tried lots of things to get out and meet people but none of it has resulted in me making any real friends. I am not comfortable or confident going to new places on my own and I'm a grown man still dependant on his mother. It's pathetic and humiliating. I'm one huge bag of negativity and none of this is going to make me atractive to women, even if I could meet them.

I lived in a small community too where everybody knew everybody else's business. My parents still live there but when this thing happened to my eyesight I decided that I had to get out of there and try to make a new life for myself in the city. I have lost touch with all of my old friends and aquaintances and most days I only go out to walk my dog or go to the local store. The only purpose I have in life is just to continue with my studies and possibly I might still achieve some of my ambitions and build a life for myself but I'm just plodding away at that and a lot of the time it is hard to find the motivation and be enthusiastic about it because I'm just doing it on my own.




I understand... you sound a lot like me… I am in my own little world too, but I choose to be… in a way, so do you… I think we feel much more comfortable and secure on our own, with our precious dogs as the closest company, and one source of the love that we need, even if our situations are just temporary… I believe though, that when we are really ready to put aside our insecurities, focusing only on how we can change ourselves to attract more of what we secretly desire and need, love will find us… we have to first find our own courage to step out of our comfort zone and chance being rejected until we are finally accepted… after all, I truly believe there is someone for everyone, and it’s just a matter of being in the right place at the right time, with the right attitude… with a willing and open mind… don’t you?

I understand you're anxiety, Sarah... it can be quite debilitating... I suffered with it myself during my late twenties, early thirties... when there was extraordinary issues occurring in my life... do you have dependable sources for company, so you can get out of the house regularly, to go shopping, or to the doctor's, and such...

I live in a very small town... it's my ex's home turf, and my property sits right in the middle of his family's, even though my house is road front land, they surround me on both sides and behind me... here, everybody knows everybody else and all their business too... I'm not from this area, but I'm not going to move away because I don't want to sell, I like the country atmosphere, etc... there's very little chance that I will be able to connect with another man in this type of environment... so I came online to see if I could make friends elsewhere... since joining the dating sites, I've made a few friends that I enjoy talking too, but have never met anyone in person... so I guess I'm the reason I haven't found anyone because I'm limiting my own abilities... but, what about you? why is it that you can't find someone locally? what about when you're at college, the other students... or at church, if you attend... just curious..



Well, it's complicated and it's not something that I'm altogether comfortable talking about on public forums. But okay, you asked and we are supposedly all friends here.

I have a visual impairment. I can't travel to meet people because I have mobility problems. A date in my home town is doable but anything else is impossible. Yes, I am just partially sighted and there are people that are completely blind that seem to cope but i have had no real help apart from from my family and I have been struggling for fifteen years to try to come to terms with it and it is really difficult and frustrating.

I go to public places and I can see people but I can't see them smile or make eye contact. I have no friends to go out with and if I don't go out I can't make friends. If I do go out somewhere I'm just sitting there on my own hoping that people will come over and talk to me. The activities that I can participate in are limited by my disability and I don't like the charities because they were so unhelpful and I don't want to hang about with blind people.

I'm not religious and I don't go to church. I did try to get into the local university but for reasons that are a bit complicated that didn't work out and I am just studying with the Open University. It is a proper university but it is just for people that study on their own at home really and the only interaction with other people on this course is on the internet.

I did have a girlfriend and I really tried to make that work but she was quite nasty and hurtful about my disability and after a while she decided that she "didn't want to get involved" and we were just "friends". That ended badly and we don't talk to each other anymore. I met someone on this site and that built up my confidence and made me feel good about myself again but it didn't work out and now I am alone again with nobody to talk to apart from people on the internet and my mother on the phone.

So, there it is. I live in the city surrounded by thousands of people but I am cut off from society. I've tried lots of things to get out and meet people but none of it has resulted in me making any real friends. I am not comfortable or confident going to new places on my own and I'm a grown man still dependant on his mother. It's pathetic and humiliating. I'm one huge bag of negativity and none of this is going to make me atractive to women, even if I could meet them.

I lived in a small community too where everybody knew everybody else's business. My parents still live there but when this thing happened to my eyesight I decided that I had to get out of there and try to make a new life for myself in the city. I have lost touch with all of my old friends and aquaintances and most days I only go out to walk my dog or go to the local store. The only purpose I have in life is just to continue with my studies and possibly I might still achieve some of my ambitions and build a life for myself but I'm just plodding away at that and a lot of the time it is hard to find the motivation and be enthusiastic about it because I'm just doing it on my own.




I understand... you sound a lot like me… I am in my own little world too, but I choose to be… in a way, so do you… I think we feel much more comfortable and secure on our own, with our precious dogs as the closest company, and one source of the love that we need, even if our situations are just temporary… I believe though, that when we are really ready to put aside our insecurities, focusing only on how we can change ourselves to attract more of what we secretly desire and need, love will find us… we have to first find our own courage to step out of our comfort zone and chance being rejected until we are finally accepted… after all, I truly believe there is someone for everyone, and it’s just a matter of being in the right place at the right time, with the right attitude… with a willing and open mind… don’t you?



I don't know. Like I said, I have tried a lot of things to get out and meet people. I did yoga, I did courses at the university, I got involved with music classes, I tried a singles club and other things. Yeah, I can get to places by taxi and I can get about without bumping into things but when I'm in a large building or a place that I don't know very well I'm basically lost. I was not born like this. I went from being an independant guy that could just get in a car or jump on a motorcycle and go anywhere to someone that can't even go into the city where I was born and grew up in without having to ask strangers for help. I have to plan every outing like a military campaign. How am I going to get there? How am I going to get home? Where's the bar? Where's the toilet? Will there be helpful people there if I do need directions? Then even if I go somewhere I'm sitting on my own, Billy No Mates, just hoping that people will come over and talk to me. The singles club was alright for a while. They introduced me to a few people but after that they just leave you to get on with it. I can't spot someone that I know or feel like saying hi to across a room. I could be sitting there all night with nobody talking to me at all completely bored and just looking and feeling like a sad git

So yeah, I sit here in my cave (as my ex used to say) wanting to go out and do things but I'm not sure what and I really don't know if I want to put myself through all of that. Sometimes I think, "Okay, I could go to a pub I suppose and maybe I'll just be hanging about at the bar all night and maybe nobody will talk to me but I could have a few beers and maybe that would help me to relax and lose inhibitions." People don't go to pubs so much these days though, what with the price of beer and the smoking ban. I'm not a young guy in his twenties anymore that women are likely to talk to. I'm a guy in his mid forties with a disability and most people my age are married or in relationships.

Yeah, I do. I have this therapist who helps me go shopping. Going outside by myself would still be a bit daunting at this point. A good job there are charity organizations to help us with needs.

Neighbours ended up thinking I had died, because they never seen me come out of the house for years.

I've not found them helpful, like I said. They said that they have vollenteers that "befriend" and take people out. I gave it a go. I wanted to go out shopping and to get a haircut. The vollenteer kept grabbing my arm and I told her not to do that because I hate people doing that and I can walk on my own. Then they just refused to take me anywhere. I was also turned down for a guide dog. I hate the social workers as well. The one I had helped a little to start off with but then he said that he was going to have to close the case and I would just have to get on with it. They got me into a flat in a different area from where I am now when I first moved back here. I had a lot of harassment from kids. They were throwing stones at me and everything. I phoned the social worker telling him that I had to get out of there. He wouldn't help and he said that I would just get that anywhere.

I'm still very bitter about all of that and it annoys me when people say how great and helpful the charities are. Whenever I meet blind people they get annoyed with my opinions about that. If it hadn't been for my family helping me I would have been totally screwed but I don't want to be dependant on them and I hate being treated like a child.

Sorry, this is going way off topic and I knew that if I talked about it it was opening up a whole can of worms but at least you lot know now why I can't travel to meet people and why I resorted to internet dating.

Well, it's complicated and it's not something that I'm altogether comfortable talking about on public forums. But okay, you asked and we are supposedly all friends here.

I have a visual impairment. I can't travel to meet people because I have mobility problems. A date in my home town is doable but anything else is impossible. Yes, I am just partially sighted and there are people that are completely blind that seem to cope but i have had no real help apart from from my family and I have been struggling for fifteen years to try to come to terms with it and it is really difficult and frustrating.

I go to public places and I can see people but I can't see them smile or make eye contact. I have no friends to go out with and if I don't go out I can't make friends. If I do go out somewhere I'm just sitting there on my own hoping that people will come over and talk to me. The activities that I can participate in are limited by my disability and I don't like the charities because they were so unhelpful and I don't want to hang about with blind people.

I'm not religious and I don't go to church. I did try to get into the local university but for reasons that are a bit complicated that didn't work out and I am just studying with the Open University. It is a proper university but it is just for people that study on their own at home really and the only interaction with other people on this course is on the internet.

I did have a girlfriend and I really tried to make that work but she was quite nasty and hurtful about my disability and after a while she decided that she "didn't want to get involved" and we were just "friends". That ended badly and we don't talk to each other anymore. I met someone on this site and that built up my confidence and made me feel good about myself again but it didn't work out and now I am alone again with nobody to talk to apart from people on the internet and my mother on the phone.

So, there it is. I live in the city surrounded by thousands of people but I am cut off from society. I've tried lots of things to get out and meet people but none of it has resulted in me making any real friends. I am not comfortable or confident going to new places on my own and I'm a grown man still dependant on his mother. It's pathetic and humiliating. I'm one huge bag of negativity and none of this is going to make me atractive to women, even if I could meet them.

I lived in a small community too where everybody knew everybody else's business. My parents still live there but when this thing happened to my eyesight I decided that I had to get out of there and try to make a new life for myself in the city. I have lost touch with all of my old friends and aquaintances and most days I only go out to walk my dog or go to the local store. The only purpose I have in life is just to continue with my studies and possibly I might still achieve some of my ambitions and build a life for myself but I'm just plodding away at that and a lot of the time it is hard to find the motivation and be enthusiastic about it because I'm just doing it on my own.




I understand... you sound a lot like me… I am in my own little world too, but I choose to be… in a way, so do you… I think we feel much more comfortable and secure on our own, with our precious dogs as the closest company, and one source of the love that we need, even if our situations are just temporary… I believe though, that when we are really ready to put aside our insecurities, focusing only on how we can change ourselves to attract more of what we secretly desire and need, love will find us… we have to first find our own courage to step out of our comfort zone and chance being rejected until we are finally accepted… after all, I truly believe there is someone for everyone, and it’s just a matter of being in the right place at the right time, with the right attitude… with a willing and open mind… don’t you?



I don't know. Like I said, I have tried a lot of things to get out and meet people. I did yoga, I did courses at the university, I got involved with music classes, I tried a singles club and other things. Yeah, I can get to places by taxi and I can get about without bumping into things but when I'm in a large building or a place that I don't know very well I'm basically lost. I was not born like this. I went from being an independant guy that could just get in a car or jump on a motorcycle and go anywhere to someone that can't even go into the city where I was born and grew up in without having to ask strangers for help. I have to plan every outing like a military campaign. How am I going to get there? How am I going to get home? Where's the bar? Where's the toilet? Will there be helpful people there if I do need directions? Then even if I go somewhere I'm sitting on my own, Billy No Mates, just hoping that people will come over and talk to me. The singles club was alright for a while. They introduced me to a few people but after that they just leave you to get on with it. I can't spot someone that I know or feel like saying hi to across a room. I could be sitting there all night with nobody talking to me at all completely bored and just looking and feeling like a sad git

So yeah, I sit here in my cave (as my ex used to say) wanting to go out and do things but I'm not sure what and I really don't know if I want to put myself through all of that. Sometimes I think, "Okay, I could go to a pub I suppose and maybe I'll just be hanging about at the bar all night and maybe nobody will talk to me but I could have a few beers and maybe that would help me to relax and lose inhibitions." People don't go to pubs so much these days though, what with the price of beer and the smoking ban. I'm not a young guy in his twenties anymore that women are likely to talk to. I'm a guy in his mid forties with a disability and most people my age are married or in relationships.


you hit the nail on the head in your very last sentence... it gets much harder for people our age to find someone we will be compatible with... and everyone we know is already married or involved... I really do feel for your situation... and wish the best for you...

it's very good to hear that you have various avenues to get help when you need it... I don't know how it is where you live, but here in Alabama, state and federal budget cuts affect the amount of service providers, and what they extend for assistance, including it's quality.

oh no... that is funny...

it's fine... I asked you what's going on because I want to know... it sounds like you have had a very rough go of it... and you are very fortunate that your family is there to stand by you... let's hope that you will be able to utilize the internet dating sites to find your someone special who will understand and love you through the good times and bad...