You meet someone who you really connect with intellectually, emotionally, and socially. You have so much in common it’s as if you’ve known each other for years, and can practically read each others minds. However, there are major points where you don’t agree, and as friends, you choose to overlook these differences, while keeping your distance physically.

As time goes by your friendship evolves, and your feelings do too. Before you realize it you become enamored with each other, something starts nagging at you both, and you want to get even closer, but still in the back of your mind, you know how different from each other that you really are.

Do you risk the connection you already have by taking things to the next level, be it deeper communication, via emails, texts, phone calls, eventually a face to face? Or do you listen to your subconscious that keeps warning you this might end badly, and steady the course you’re already on?

Keeping in mind that the chemistry now between you is gaining the upper hand, so if you decide not to take things further, do you think you’ll be able to handle the unchecked intensity, or would it be wiser to break off the relationship at this point, and chalk it up to two ships passing in the night?

Oh dear. . Sorry to hear that. . I'm guessing he took the phrase 'Love Thy Neighbour' a bit TOO literally.

Last year a longtime family friend suddenly grabbed and hugged me and tried to kiss me just out of the blue..He told me that he had feelings for me...I've known this man for years and he knew my husband too. (He's a neighbor.)...My son was struggling with brain tumors last year so my neighbor stopped by to ask about my son once in awhile..I told him many times that I wasn't over losing my husband yet. And I was on the brink of losing my son too...Guess he felt sorry for me. But after he tried to grab and kiss me that day I've kept my distance from him. (Even though we had a "talk" and he seemed to handle things okay.)..It's sad because I liked the neighbor a lot as a friend. He could be caring and sensitive and fun and playful too...Maybe things might have turned out differently if he didn't grab me and try to steal a kiss that day!

Last year a longtime family friend suddenly grabbed and hugged me and tried to kiss me just out of the blue..He told me that he had feelings for me...I've known this man for years and he knew my husband too. (He's a neighbor.)...My son was struggling with brain tumors last year so my neighbor stopped by to ask about my son once in awhile..I told him many times that I wasn't over losing my husband yet. And I was on the brink of losing my son too...Guess he felt sorry for me. But after he tried to grab and kiss me that day I've kept my distance from him. (Even though we had a "talk" and he seemed to handle things okay.)..It's sad because I liked the neighbor a lot as a friend. He could be caring and sensitive and fun and playful too...Maybe things might have turned out differently if he didn't grab me and try to steal a kiss that day!

Jump in with both feet Momma! Life is not worth living without some risks!

I understand how he made you feel by coming on too strong, GreenEyes, you won't be able to see him the same way as before he violated your comfort zone, but after the two of you had a "talk" and he understood his error in judgment you still can no longer be friends either? That is sad... for both of you probably...

With someone else things might have turned out differently...But things have seemed odd and "off" between me and my neighbor since the incident..He seems to be in the "save face" mode or ?...I think his ego and pride may have been "bruised" but he really doesn't want to talk about it any further.

AthenaRose......I wonder if some men (and women too) view friendship as a ladder and stepping-stone to something "more" in the future...Being friends is simply part of the courtship ritual..It's like an investment or putting money in the bank with the expectation of "future returns."...Where other people are content just to be friends and don't have ulterior motives. What do you think?...I think my neighbor and another longtime male friend have always had (secret) ulterior motives..But I'm friends with another male neighbor and he's not in the market for love. I don't pick-up any hidden agendas when I've spent time with him.

AthenaRose...I keep forgetting I'm on a dating site! I just post on the forum...But you're right it's normal for people who make friends here to think in terms of "more" at some point if all goes well...I guess I was referring to male family friends that I know in my personal life...I've told them many times that I'm not ready to date anyone yet...They don't bring up dating and act like it's fine being friends...I don't see any of them very often...Anyway two of the men have ulterior motives. It's obvious to me now but wasn't before.

I have no doubt in my mind that if we are philisophically opposed in a way that is significant to me I would not feel any attraction but friendship would be possible to a point. I could not get particularly close to someone in the cirucmstances you describe so there is no conflict for me in your scenario

nothing escalates where there is nothing

AthenaRose...My husband and I were just friends and "best buddies" for two straight years and had lots of fun together...He never pushed for more and never tried to put the "make" on me...We both fell in love at a later date. It was mutual....When he asked me to marry him he said he would have been content to be my friend forever...He viewed "being in love" as an "added bonus." (Like frosting on a cake.)