I was looking for a new place to go out and my friends told me about a bar they like but they have never been their on the day I went. Well needless to say it was swingers night and they called me "Vanilla" which is a guy who doesn't swing. I was approached by married men asking me if I was interested in their wife and tell you the truth it took me by surprise because I would never want to share the women I was with. But at the same time it was an interesting concept as they where all really nice people and seemed to have very healthy companionship with their partner and friends.

So I guess my question is, "Has anyone ever been or known a swinger and how safe is it really?"

William

I
only know one, and that's one of my friend's mother. It does seem
unsafe from a certain p.o.v, although I never get involved. It was all
her idea. I think you should just protect yourself, and keep your eyes
open if anything seems untoward. Seeing as you quite like it, I take it
you're gonna get involved, so, just be careful of known sexual diseases. What's the worst that could happen?

I knew two different married couples back in the 80's. They would go out to eat as teams, go to the bar, do things and switched partners in the bedroom. Then they got divorced, married the other partners spouses, exchanged in switching again. Then they divorced again, switched again and the rest is history. They were quite happy though.


Hey whatever turns you on. For real this happend, for real. Cause one of the guys was a buddy of mine.

Ironic that you mention that as I watched a movie called Zebra Lounge. It was about a couple that decided to try being swingers and got hooked up with a physco couple that killed people and threatened their family. I have never been interested in swinging but even though that movie was just a Hollywood production; in this crazy messed up world; you never know what kind of whackos you will meet.

Actually..I dated someone who was into swinging. He was an aggressive businessman type so it didn't really "surprise" me when he told me. I was a little offended that he approached me about it!
When I voiced this offense..he said that swingers are like everyone else! They can be good people or not good people. This is just one area of their life and shouldn't be judged by it.

I broke up with guy... but he still had a valid point about someone's sexual preference.

I'm stingy, I don't share.

On the contrary, the guy you broke up with can be judged by his chosen sexual behavior; he just doesn't want to be.

Theoretically it could be okay, if it happened naturally and as a result of two people being honest with each other about their attraction to someone else instead of 'cheating' (lying) about an affair.... but more often, in a deliberate swingers environment, you will meet some weirdo's who are simply obsessed with sex or bored with their current partners.

I believe in being honest, (not lying or cheating) but deliberately searching for someone to trade your partner with would not be my cup of tea.

in his case..the swinging was the most endearing thing about him
Dodged THAT bullet !

But you find out when it's too late. Honesty is gone..

Well, I don't swing. If you are my woman, then you are my only women.

What I have heard/seen about this is that rarely do emotionally healthy people do this. Usually one or both sides of the couple have major "issues" and true consent is often questionable. Victims of either gender are often groomed and manipulated for years. Often crime is a line that gets danced across often and with little regard to innocents from children, to parents, to current or future partners of anyone they have contact with because the counter-culture nature of this behavior gives these people power over other's.
If that is the kind of saftey you are, IMHO should be, concerned about then no I would not consider it safe.

Since EVERY single person I know of that I later had any ongoing information about; ended up with one or more chronic incurable STD based complications incontinence not being the least of problems and kidney failure a slow painful death anotherI don't see a great future after this choice. If playing without rules is worth those kinds of problems then by all means pick your poison.

Thank you so much for all the feed back...I have never been interested in swinging myself as I can't see myself sharing a women I cared about. But as I am single and other couples are interested in me joining them. It did catch my attention but I still don't think I want to get involved sexually because I get attached to the ones I have sex with...and I have a rule not to have sex with someone unless I can see myself having kids with them. So I might dive in a bit for something different but I think that's as far as I would like to go.

William

You don't have sex unless you can see yourself haveing kids with them??? Really?

You know... um.. Sexx can be fun too Just sayin'

If a couple has a very healthy companionship, they wouldn't have to Swing. I never wanted too.

Wow, I'm so naive! I was asked by a couple if I "swinged" and I said yes, because I thought it was dancing! lol..

The potential for fallout in many different areas of your life would be very high.

I prefer "vanilla".

He means he won't have sex unless he's committed to that person... lol