seek a relationship you're "needy'
seek only sex you're "horny"
seek neither you're "content"

The difficulty is distinguishing between a need and a want, since they both mean almost the exactly same thing.

You need/want a car!
You need/want a relationship!

Ect.

Everyone has both of these whether your just looking for a one thing or something meaningful.

Right? If you're hungry, you probably need food.

You may want to look at your art topic I placed some info on there for you to ponder.

Thanks, I just posted in there as well.

Maybe a "need" is something that is necessary and vital to our survival. (Like food and water etc.)...And a "want" is something that will make us happy or make our life easier etc. But we can still survive if we don't get our "wants" in life..What do you think?...The Rolling Stones wrote a song about it! They said we don't always get what we want but we get what we need! (Or something like this!)...But some people (and kids) die from starvation or malnutrition across the world. So everyone doesn't always get their "survival needs" met. Sad!

Loneliness can also cause insanity for some as well. Like real insanity.

Every time I walk into my glass mirror I run into exactly such guy.

If a country's population has a large number of very young who die of hunger, then we can safely say that in that country the want to procreate (to satisfy the Horn) is well met, but the need to feed is not well met.

To be quite honest, I am not sure if I am better off here in Canada, being double the weight I ought to be, or I would be better in some hungry place, where people fornicate left right and centre, and put the kids out to pasture.

If I were there, I would envy my fat here. If I were here, which I am, I would be jealous for their finding girlfriends easily.

I think there is no golden middle, other than the bottom of the Atlantic ocean (it's halfway between me and them.)

This is no joke. For me it's the other way around. The longer I go without meeting people, the better balanced I become.

I only became well in the last six years since I first had a heart-attack like something, was when I moved away from my city, left all my friends, relatives and associates there, and came here, where I am almost always alone.

I haven't looked back yet.

Lonely isn t something we should ever grow comfortable with everyone need a connection a touch . the feeling of anticipation.Looking forward to a someone special .I think it gets harder as we go though life to find one person who can fill all our world .Sometimes we need to look outside the box .Cause life too short to wait for that perfect to find us .

I suppose it's way easier for someone like you, who is just looking for sex. As that can easily be found. On a street corner, in nightclubs, parking lots, etc. Everyone has their own wants and needs. Some are willing to be in another true relationship. Then again, we are all different. Some of us are similar. Love can't always be found easily at all. If people want a lover they really click with, then I think they're more than willing to wait for the right person for them.

Yeah I can not be with anyone unless we have mutual interests and we must click on a few levels mentally at the very least if I could ever consider even dating them.

After having a lenghthy conversation with my 40 year old daughter....I have come to the conclusion.....that I am desperate...to meet a partner....and this is why....I am 58...I was retired at 54....with alot of money...my husband was dx with lung and bone cancer...4 months later....so all money went to his medical and there was no chance travel...2 years after his passing I am ..still retired, kids grown, all that's missing is the travel partner, the man to share with.....so desperate ...in a hurry...YES! I want to enjoy the years I have left....and when I'm ready to sit and rock I want someone hand to hold....what do you all think of me doing my profile like this...

Desperate before I am too old to have fun..to meet a partner who also wants to have fun..

ShareAHug, you raise a few interesting points, that lead to other interesting points.

The main thing is to have one's wants and needs met, to feel satisfied or happy. There are other things that make people happy, but on the long run, most people need stability, and either physical and sense's fun (like travelling and going to shows and exibitions and sports events) or have their apparent competitiveness, the appearance of it, be maintained.

Some people have kids and cars and vacations because they enjoy kids and cars and vacations; some have these to keep up with the joneses; some have the same for both reasons, both for keeping their social competitiveness at par, and because they truly enjoy driving, vacations, kids.

Everybody has a stronger than average point, though, that they treasure in their own selves, that they base most of their own human worth on. A girlfriend of my aunt was getting depressed in her old age because she was losing her looks. She still looked dynamite at age 70, but not nearly as good as at age 50.

A guy I was told about was a successful businessman, and he was utterly depressed coz he could not get it up. He remarried, and he met my friend, to whom he said with incredible sorrow that the situation is the same. The new wife piped up, and blasted the guy for telling about it to someone. For this impotent but good man, life ended when his erections never worked any more.

So I told all these to my shrink, at the time, and he consoled me that people enter old age with envisioning a lifestyle they would like, with one they don't like, and they sort of know which is the one they will get. Once they get the one they don't want, they will go depressed, which is due not to some mental disease, but to their falling short of their own expectations.

Some plan, like hoard money, for retirement. Some others are surprized, and not all of us are surprised negatively.

To the point, I discovered that I need very little. Very little money, very little socially, very little in terms of luxuries. I don't need clothes, but only for their practical value. I need and want food, and good food, and with a little research one can find the hole-in-the-wall restaurants in every town that serve good and cheap food. I want intellectual stimulation, so I go to lectures, and sometimes take a course (if it's free). I used to hang on to my extensive social life, but since I've gone mad and depressed six or seven years ago, I feel solitude is better for me (this is the surprise).

And for the biggest surprise, I find a lot of joy in writing. Luckily I can do it too. I am not a popular writer, because I am either too deep and too much, or too irreverent and too light, and too much that way. But I find writing nevertheless fun and very entertaining, whether I get appreciated for it or not by many.

Yes, I do need a few to show their appreciation, and I do get it on sporadic bases. Luckily it's enough for me to keep going. More would be not good, I would get addicted and need even more than that later, and soon enough I would need even more than that. That's the problem with being a celebrity. I thank my lucky gods I am not a celebrity.

So I feel content, more-or-less, with my life. I am not ecstatic, but I am comfortable, and it's not a pain to keep on going with living. This is the most anyone can say about their lives, it seems.

Can you imagine anyone being constantly happy? Or do you KNOW anyone in your circle of acquaintances who is constantly happy, and never sad or angry?

The big thing is that I accept that I am poor and will never amount to anything.

But here is the BIG question: How much of this acceptance comes from lack of need, denial of need via rationalization, or having learned that there are commonly enjoyed things that people want and need, but I truly don't?

And seeing that i feel sorta happy, is it important on the grander scheme of things that I know which of the above three reasons is thae one truly responsible for my no longer being sick, depressed, angry, or bored?

Is this a case of "end justifies the means", or is this a case of "sour grapes"?

Should I be happy, or should I be sad about it?

Well, at least this is a bit better than being desparate. I am not saying I am "better than to be desparate". Not at all. I am saying, that I don't feel desparate, though many others in my position would.

Furthermore, this I strongly deny: my case is not the case of mind over matter. I did not consciously talk myself out of needed needs, or wanted wants. I just got on without them, and along the way I realized I really did not need the vacation, the car, the kids.

This may be a case of recognizance, via first-hand experience, what makes me happy and what does not. A recognizance, because by my circumstances, by my own doing, I was in a situation for a very long time (in poverty) in which I needed to adapt to not being able to keep up with the jonses, but do other things, and see how they felt as opposed to the car and Caribbean cruises.

Most people are not given this opportunity of experimenting with their lifestyles. They are forced into being in one, from birth, and that happens all over the world. Individual, differentiated lifestyles are severly punished in most places, and punished here in America too, but I don't have to die from the punishment. In fact, I can become happy. But those who are FORCED into the one lifstyle of the land, and fail to maintain it for whatever reason, they become situationally depressed.

And I will be the last to fault them. The same system that giveth, was the same sistem that hath taken away, with little regard to the participatory willingness and compliance to the one lifestyle. A disaster can hit, and a successful person can become unsuccessful. I don't mean celebrities only; I mean everyman. A successful person is a person who played the role of the one lifestyle he could choose from in youth, and never swayed from the role, and all along kept on reaping the ongoing rewards. That's success, in this sense.

And this is where the old psychiatrists advice comes in. He said "it's what you make with your old age when you are there, which will make you happy or unhappy."

That is, when the one lifestyle is unable to sustain your happiness, because its rewards have become no longer constantly available, then you are either out of luck, or you are lucky to have an interest which is conceivably even different from golfing, ball room dancing, or fine dining.

I feel I was lucky with this writing thing. It happened to me, I did not have to fight to get the inner urge or the apparent talent. It also saved me from boredom, by saving me from not having the strength or the ability, but only the will, to stay contributory in society. Productive. I am not productive, but I am not unhappy. Many retired old people feel not productive, but not happy, either.

So to stay happy through old age one needs to have luck which will help him find some sort of purpose or an activity that will take his mind off of not having a purpose.

Unfortunately a large number of retirees don't have that luck. In fact, they have negative luck, misfortune, by pursuing such life goals that can't be pursued during old age, and yet that's all they know how to do.

It's a bit of a luck of the draw how you feel about your life in retirement; it's also a bit of an exercise in your ability to practice rationalization to alleviate the pain of cognitive dissonance; and it's also a bit of an exercise in having developed hobbies and other skills that may or may not sustain your interest in your old age.

Some depend all their lives on their beauty, like that lady friend of my aunt, to stay happy, and when it's gone, there is nothing left. Some depend on a lifestyle of travel, parties, cruises, luxury vacations. Good for them, like I said, but when the money runs out, what then. Some depend on a lifestyle of screwing, and when that goes, what's left.

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This was prompted by ShareAHug's post, but I wrote it for someone else. The person I wrote it for is Spicy Exel. You, SE, complained about the "jokers" on this site, and were unhappy why we, jokers, can't be serious.

This is what I read like when I am serious.

I am funny for a different reason. For a number of different reasons.

For one, humour is not illegal, and the rules of this website do not rule out fun.

For two, I am old enough to say what I feel like, and not have to say what some random guy says everyone should be saying, or how they should be saying it.

For three, I enjoy my sense of humour. I appreciate that not everyone does. In fact, I'd be lucky to be able to say honestly, that one out of each ten who reads my funny posts finds them funny. The main thing for me is that I, *I* find them funny.

For four, it is not in good form to say "my style and preferences are obviously superior to yours." You say all the serious stuff you want, SpicyExel, and I say all the stuff that I want.

I appreciate that reading my so-called "humorous" posts which are not funny, are a pain. I find it a pain to read "serious" posts that contain nothing serious that would make me want to read them.

So this is when I want to be serious, the above article. I don't become serious on command. it's the topic or the mood I am in that brings the humour and the seriousness out of me. Wild horses can't drag me from humour mood to serious mood. And wild horses are sorta VERY serious when they drag you.

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On other sites Yes I have encountered men like that. I am new here and have not yet met any man desperate Yet. lol

WOW Wux and I got all that so here it is...I am not needy ..I want.....I am also not desperate but if people want to think I sound like I am that's their opinion and privilege....

I retired at 54 ...husband dx with cancer 4 months later..I became an instant nurse and lived in a world of hell, pain, medicine, hospitals, love, tears, fear....for 3 1/2 years...I did everything in my power to make his life as easy and comfortable as I could...my life was put on hold ....2 years after his passing and my grief...I am in the same place I was...I am still retired...my kids are still grown...I am still living alone....and I am still ready to go .go...go....but although my life is full and happy...the partner to share with is gone....and that's what I want....yes..atravel partner....even to the grocery store....a lover.....someone to snuggle with on a rainy day and watch a movie....someone to love and who will love me...that not being needy or desperate...it's being human...my life is right where it was the day my husband was dx...only difference is I'm alone now...I still have the same wants and dreams....and all I'm trying to do is fill my bucket to the brim again...not replace my husband...I have room in my heart for others...and just want to share my life with someone...if that is so wrong..then so be it....

I think most of us would love to have a partner to sit and relax with as we grow old. I also don't want to wait until I am 50 to find that partner. I want it to be someone I have stored up memories with, however my ex turned out to be a total criminal. Now I am almost 40. In a rush, no. Have a desire, yes. Giving up, no. Willing to be open, yes. Rushing can only cause a derailment. IMO.

BRAVO, Wux!

Why oh why is there no applause smiley?