Topic: Love and how it means less and less every day?
Ilyan_DarkStrife's photo
Sat 11/03/12 09:27 AM
So I've just been doing a lot of thinking and it pains me that love means less and less every day. Honestly the term I love you seems to be only a means to get into someone's pants these days. I know I am young but I believe I am mature for my age, I've had very few girlfriends in my time mostly because of the fact that I don't want to just date a bunch of random girls I would prefer to have the real thing. Am I the only one that still believes that maybe there is still a chance for real love out there and that people should really start working on bringing it back to be the norm instead of the rarity it is these days?

wux's photo
Sat 11/03/12 09:45 AM

So I've just been doing a lot of thinking and it pains me that love means less and less every day. Honestly the term I love you seems to be only a means to get into someone's pants these days. I know I am young but I believe I am mature for my age, I've had very few girlfriends in my time mostly because of the fact that I don't want to just date a bunch of random girls I would prefer to have the real thing. Am I the only one that still believes that maybe there is still a chance for real love out there and that people should really start working on bringing it back to be the norm instead of the rarity it is these days?


I loved about four or five women in my entire life. I never had sex with any one of them, because fate or their view of me kept us apart.

I had sex with lots of women. I did not love any one of them.

----------

To wit: I never said "I love you" to anyone. Ever. Unless I meant it. It is not an expression I throw about lightly. In fact, every time I said it (which is not many) I was fearing of God's smite, because I feared that maybe I am lying. Is my love for this woman deep and sincere enough to warrant the sentence to be uttered?

The guilt was eating into me each time I said it.

----------

To wit: your choice to only have sex with a woman you love, is your personal choice.

Your choice to say "I love you" to a woman only if you love her is a social choice. It has implications beyond you, so you are wise in deciding to use this phrase only when it applies.

Your choice to have no sex with women unless you love them is again a personal choice, and it's a risky one. Very risky, because out of 100 people only about 2 get married to somebody they love. The other 98 get married because their clocks are ticking (mainly women) and because they don't want to spell their seed on the ground (mainly men). Many marry for money, or for unifying political ties (not international or natioal politics, but little family-feud politics). Many marry for looks, for sex, for money, for the promise of a good life, for ease and convenience for not having to think about it, for family pressures, for fitting in would be impossible without it, for having children without it would be difficult and stigmatized (this should be first in my list, really), for career moves, for religious calling, (go forth and mulitiply is a command, almost), etc. etc.

Two out of a hundred marry because they love each other, and for no other reason.

Even the forty of the hundred who marry maybe for love, are unsure of the love. They know they think they are in love, but when they look deep down inside their own souls, they are in doubt already.

So it's okay to hold out for love before you love, but be careful, coz the math is very much against you.

If you still insist, then I wish you the best of luck, and may please God help you in your quest.

jacktrades's photo
Sat 11/03/12 09:47 AM
Everyone wants true love but its just not going to happen everytime you meet someone. Your young take your time, go out and have some fun.You don't have to be in love with someone to enjoy spending time with them. Then when you find your true love and you will, you will have the skills and expierence to treat her right. Good luck my friend.

wux's photo
Sat 11/03/12 09:52 AM

Everyone wants true love but its just not going to happen everytime you meet someone. Your young take your time, go out and have some fun.You don't have to be in love with someone to enjoy spending time with them. Then when you find your true love and you will, you will have the skills and expierence to treat her right. Good luck my friend.


I very much agree with jacktrades. He is even succinct, beyond beying just wise.

AndyBgood's photo
Sat 11/03/12 09:56 AM
sex is not synonymous with love. I know far too many men who go by this view of life, "pu$$y is pu$$y even if it is hung on a cow." A lot of men and women will sex up just about anything. A surrogate is a surrogate I guess. The fact is humans in general are messed up with sex and a lot of concepts behind it especially pertaining to where sex and love are concerned. I have had sex with a woman who loved me (for the time) and others who didn't and there was one difference between the quality of both... NONE because a woman who does nothing in bed is a bunk lay no matter how I feel for her and if she isn't willing to experiment a little (and I do not mean the extreme weird crap and fetish!) then no matter how much I love her there will be a certain satisfaction missing from my life. I hate the idea of living an unfulfilled lie. I can love another man like a brother but never as a lover. I can love a horse as a friend but as a lover?

sick Some guys think they are satisfying an animal ten times their size...sick All they are doing is satisfying themselves.sick And what guy in his right mind would want ANYTHING to do with a woman capable of...........sick sick sick I am leaving this alone at this point...sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick sick

Sex and love are different person to person. Some MUST have love as a component to sex, others it doesn't matter. Again sex and love are different for each individual much as life itself is a different experience for everyone!

Maerz2803's photo
Sat 11/03/12 10:07 AM


So I've just been doing a lot of thinking and it pains me that love means less and less every day. Honestly the term I love you seems to be only a means to get into someone's pants these days. I know I am young but I believe I am mature for my age, I've had very few girlfriends in my time mostly because of the fact that I don't want to just date a bunch of random girls I would prefer to have the real thing. Am I the only one that still believes that maybe there is still a chance for real love out there and that people should really start working on bringing it back to be the norm instead of the rarity it is these days?

#1 Love should not be confused with Like (even if it is a lot of like). Sleeping with someone does not require love, just some attraction.

#2 Real, deep love is out there, but it has to be found first, unfortunately that is not easy. (It's not like your love has a sign on the forehead that says: I am the one) That's where fate comes in.
Wonder if that fickle mistress Fate could be bribed somehow?

#3 How many times in a life time can one love deeply? Some people "love" different people all the time. To me, their love was not deep the begin with.




Your choice to have no sex with women unless you love them is again a personal choice, and it's a risky one. Very risky, because out of 100 people only about 2 get married to somebody they love. The other 98 get married because their clocks are ticking (mainly women) and because they don't want to spell their seed on the ground (mainly men). Many marry for money, or for unifying political ties (not international or natioal politics, but little family-feud politics). Many marry for looks, for sex, for money, for the promise of a good life, for ease and convenience for not having to think about it, for family pressures, for fitting in would be impossible without it, for having children without it would be difficult and stigmatized (this should be first in my list, really), for career moves, for religious calling, (go forth and mulitiply is a command, almost), etc. etc.

Two out of a hundred marry because they love each other, and for no other reason.

Even the forty of the hundred who marry maybe for love, are unsure of the love. They know they think they are in love, but when they look deep down inside their own souls, they are in doubt already.

So it's okay to hold out for love before you love, but be careful, coz the math is very much against you.

If you still insist, then I wish you the best of luck, and may please God help you in your quest.


Wux...where do you get all your statistics from?

Duttoneer's photo
Sat 11/03/12 11:01 AM

So I've just been doing a lot of thinking and it pains me that love means less and less every day. Honestly the term I love you seems to be only a means to get into someone's pants these days. I know I am young but I believe I am mature for my age, I've had very few girlfriends in my time mostly because of the fact that I don't want to just date a bunch of random girls I would prefer to have the real thing. Am I the only one that still believes that maybe there is still a chance for real love out there and that people should really start working on bringing it back to be the norm instead of the rarity it is these days?


No harm in dating a few ladies you find attractive, only ever one at the same time of course, and you would be surprised how sometimes love creeps up on you when you are not looking for it. It is not as rare as you think, there are many couples that have been happily married for decades, you might have to kiss a few frogs before finding your princess but you can be sure she is out there somewhere.

Ilyan_DarkStrife's photo
Sat 11/03/12 01:37 PM
Thanks for all the replies everyone, and I find every bit of it helpful =)

FearandLoathing's photo
Sat 11/03/12 08:53 PM
Doesn't mean any less today than it did many years ago, besides that and placing value on nothing more than words is kind of useless...No?

I'd figure showing is more of it than saying it given it is a played out word that women are probably used to hearing by now.

wux's photo
Tue 11/06/12 02:55 PM
Edited by wux on Tue 11/06/12 02:57 PM

Wux...where do you get all your statistics from?


Where? Why, from where most other statisticians get it from.

It's been statistically proven that 98.4% of all statistics are made up out of thin air.

TBRich's photo
Tue 11/06/12 03:10 PM


Wux...where do you get all your statistics from?


Where? Why, from where most other statisticians get it from.

It's been statistically proven that 98.4% of all statistics are made up out of thin air.


There are three types of lies: lies, damn lies and statistics- Disraeli