....WHO I MET ON A DATING SITE IF HE WILL HIDE HIS PROFILE? IT'S BEEN 4 WEEKS...NOT TOO LONG, BUT I NEVER DREAMED I'D GO PAST 2 DATES. EVERYTHING IS GOING WELL.

Thanks in advance to all the pros out there (you all)

Did you guys have talk about how "serious" you were at this point? A few dates doesn't mean commitment. You need to have that talk first, and when you do, the profile thing should just be a natural part of that conversation.

Good luck!

THANK YOU BAY AREA GAL!

I didn't feel the need to have the 'serious' talk... I figured, if we joined a dating site to meet someone nice, and we have, what is the point of leaving the profile active? We've gone on about 7-10 dates in 4 weeks (every Saturday night), talk on the phone and email a lot. I'm not looking for marriage or co-habitation. Just wondered if I should keep looking. It shouldn't be complicated.

As a guy, I recently started seeing someone, and we've talked on the phone extensively, and talk every night on the phone, instant messenger or both. We've gone on one date (met last saturday!) and it was great. We've already planned our 2nd and 3rd dates, and I brought up the subject merely by saying how I'm pulling my profiles off the few sites I was on.

On another note, for a guy's perspective, maybe you should have that serious talk. If your checking to see if his profile is up, and it is, either he's so interested in you that he forgot it was there (easy to do if nobody is messaging you), or maybe he doesn't think it's as serious as you do. I learned the hard way recently with someone else I went out with. After 3 dates in 2 weeks, she wasn't looking for anything but someone to go out with. So just a few thoughts, from a guy's perspective.

MANY THANKS TODD! You are very kind.

How did your gal react when you told her you were pulling your profiles?

I doubt ANYONE would 'forget' their profile is active. He has no photo up, but that really doesn't mean deactivation. I'm trying not to dwell on it, but for heaven's sake, he tells me he's crazy about me and treats me like gold, but can't hit the "hide my profile" button? I didn't cancel MY membership; I just hid it. Now what?

MANY THANKS TODD! You are very kind.

How did your gal react when you told her you were pulling your profiles?

I doubt ANYONE would 'forget' their profile is active. He has no photo up, but that really doesn't mean deactivation. I'm trying not to dwell on it, but for heaven's sake, he tells me he's crazy about me and treats me like gold, but can't hit the "hide my profile" button? I didn't cancel MY membership; I just hid it. Now what?

A month is not a very long time dating to determine if you want to be exclusive with each other. 3 or 4 dates is not enough either. better to go slow and easy then rush into something where one or both of you end up hurt

just some advice. pushing this on a guy usually will make him feel like crap and you dont want that, trust him and go with it. wait a while before you bring it up. if he really likes you as much as he says then asking him this in a month or so, he will do it no problem

nu2topcat

Your right to what you say, i do agree

feelingroovy:

Well, I haven't told her yet.... well, I emailed it to her lol, I just pulled them, but she's at work. It's all about how you feel, if you really want to be exclusive then you should pull your profile. I mean how hard is it really to just go and re-create it if it doesn't work out. The big question is, does HE feel it's exclusive. You could either flat out ask him how he feels about being exclusive, or, do what I did, mention you pulled your profile and see what he says. I mean if he's got 1/2 a brain, he'll pick up the hint, and if not, then you may have to be more direct.

Some might say a few dates isn't enough to know, but I generally don't meet someone until I've talked to them for 2 weeks or so, and another 2 weeks or so of phone calls. If you think about it, 4 weeks of talking daily, if you haven't figured out if your interested in them in that time, you have more problems than wether or not a relationship is serious..... Just my opinion though.....

Oh yeah, forgot to mention. For me it says alot about trust by pulling your profile. It sends the message that your not interested in meeting other people. Even if your not exclusive, but you want to go on more dates to see how things go (which is my case), then can you really give it your all, if your still thinking about someone else? Again, these are just my views, feel free to bash them all you want lol

My last serious relationship took HIM over a year to pull his profile. I shoulda known something was up then....He made excuses like 'good for the male ego' and other BS. Wow! I really wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, huh! Hope I've learned something since then....

I sure wouldn't hit the sheets until the profiles are gone for both of you. Esp. if it is a site you have to pay for.

well screw the male ego crap. that is a tad bit long. as i stated earlier a month of dates isnt enough time. but after a couple of months seeing each other that should give you a pretty good idea how that person is. how they react to situtations and stuff. how they react to you. i guess it depends on what your looking for. if you are willing to settle for anything a month is probably alright. but if your looking LTR it is wise to take your time and discover all you can

He said a site like this was 'good for the male ego' *laughs for like two minutes*

BabyDoll1:

The last person I went out with, I wasted my time for about 4 or 5 weeks. Went out 3 times, and when it came time to meet my kids, she canceled at the last minute, all of a sudden she wasn't ready for it. 2 days later I get the "it's not you it's me" and "i'm just not ready for a relationship with anyone right now" (so what are you doing on a dating website!) speech. Less than a week later, she's got a boyfriend she's madly in love with, and he's practically living with her. Everyone will make excuses unless they actually care about your feelings. I was just as blind as you were..... I feel your pain there!

-Todd

Serious or not. I have my friends on here and I don't need to hide or have anyone ask me to. It's all about trust and respect and If you don't have that it don't matter if he hides the profile or not.

personaly i would not ask a woman that question or plan to because i know that that the woman i met and date from here is better than any woman here and if it dont work out then i still have my profile out. and it seems over possesive.

I would say that changing the profile to say looking for "friends" would solve that problem

its dangerous to date someone u met on line sometimes.