Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: Virgins . . . . Yay or Nay ?
wux Joined Wed 07/29/09 Posts: 7426	Tue 09/11/12 04:52 AM
Virgin sex is just bad since you have no idea what you are doing. Experience and not being uptight about sex makes sex that much more enjoyable. However, there are differing opinions on this, among those who prefer when it goes in and up tight. In and up, just nice and tight. Casual promiscuous sex is just bad. Holding out for marriage is also just bad. Everyghing is just bad, bad, bad. Everybody in the world MUST comform to my own personal views and practices of sexual expectations and sexual behaviour. Anything that is not compliant with my views is bad, bad, bad. There are always some people that you aren't compatible with sexually. What a rude awakening that would be when you find out after you are married. Then again, when in the couple both are virgins, nobody is ever going to notice. To know "bad" from "good", "compatible" from "incompatible" is only possible when you have some basis of comparison. Otherwise judging for skill and satisfactory performance is impossible. Would you buy a car and not drive it first? Would you buy a pair of shoes and not try them on first? Would you buy a pair of shoes and then no more ever again for the rest of your life? Conversely, do you buy the car that you test drive? Or do you feel you have the right to choose of a number of cars, which by definition you must drive each, before deciding with one? Similarly, say you test sex with your fiancee. If you find that you are incompatible, do you still go ahead with the marriage, or do you split and look for a more compatible partner? Does that not cheapen the exercise of finding a partner to share your life with? "Sorry, honey, your pecker is too small, I can't possibly have sex with you and you alone only for life, that would be awful." How do you communicate this in the first place? All in all, if you take my advice, you become a hypocrite, you potentially put yoruself to tasks that are impossible to achieve, and you deny yourself the benefit of doubt that virgin marriages provide otherwise. So... in closing... take my advice, because it's bad, bad, bad. I never really thought about sexual chemistry before yes, because chemistry, math and other earth sciences are taught deplorably badly in North American high schools. Even sex education is in its infancy, when compared to sex education in Sweden, Holland, Italy, or Paris.

wux Joined Wed 07/29/09 Posts: 7426	Tue 09/11/12 05:00 AM
Would you buy a car and not drive it first? Would you buy a pair of shoes and not try them on first? It's really not the same thing, or at least shouldn't be regarded as such. I mean, loving someone and appreciating a car or a pair of shoes should be totally different things, but seems now a days more and more people are treating love just as such. And let us all say a few heartfelt prayers of thanks and gratitude to God for granting us the strength to create and use disposable condoms, too, for that very same line of reasoning.

sysy88 Joined Tue 09/11/12 Posts: 5	Wed 09/12/12 06:47 AM
I would certainly love to date a virgin, I know alot of lads would just use women to take there virginity then do one.. unlike me! I would make it that special moment that its supposed to be for the girl!

sweetestgirl11 Joined Fri 09/12/08 Posts: 30087	Wed 09/12/12 06:54 AM
Kinda funny that you think only the FIRST time should be special. Losing your virginity should be no more special then any other time you share your self in the most intimate way with someone else. Just like the first time you do anything. There is a learning curve. Virgin sex is just bad since you have no idea what you are doing. Experience and not being uptight about sex makes sex that much more enjoyable. Practice makes perfect. Casual promiscuous sex is just bad. Holding out for marriage is also just bad. There are just some people that you arent compatible with sexually. What a rude awakening that would be when you find out after you are married. Would you buy a car and not drive it first? Would you buy a pair of shoes and not try them on first? u are the first person I have seen who has this understanding of WHY casual is a BORE. it's like the first time over and over....

Freeexplorer Joined Wed 09/12/12 Posts: 2	Wed 09/12/12 08:32 AM
I think it depends on the age of the boy or girl. I mean.. if the person is 20 and he/she's virgin..is ok, no problem with that (for me neither turn on or turn off). If the person is 30 or 40 and he/she's still virgin...i think there's something wrong, and it definitely turns me off. But it doesn't mean i don't respect the person, indeed, i would become curious to listen his/her story, in order to understand the reason of that.

msmyka Joined Sat 03/22/08 Posts: 17079	Thu 09/13/12 11:05 PM
What do people really think when they find out someone they're interested in (dating) is a virgin? Is it a turn on or turn off? I'm too old to be popping cherries and teaching newbies... I'm just sayin

Soulman1993 Joined Thu 09/13/12 Posts: 3	Fri 09/14/12 12:27 AM
look im a virgin and yes i have had relationships and i was dogged out by latinas all my life so ladies in new york i am here and i'll give you an ear

yellowrose10 Joined Tue 12/11/07 Posts: 52804	Fri 09/14/12 02:25 AM
Please keep the religious discussions in the religion forums. We have members of all kinds of beliefs here. Please respect that. Kim

Charles1962150 Joined Tue 03/13/12 Posts: 3403	Fri 09/14/12 11:35 PM
So what should one do if they save themselves then after marriage find they are quite incompatible in the sack? At my age I'm not worried about it. But If I were a young man or woman and somebody asked me this, I would have to answer with a question. "Where is the love" You see, I've been down this road twice in my life. I met my first love when she was 20. She was a virgin. I fell very deep in love with this woman. So deep that the first time we had sex I didn't care that she knew not what she was doing. It's a learning curve. If you truly love each other the way you are supposed to the sex will get better as you go. If she hadn't died I would have married her in a heart beat. Two yrs later I met my X wife. She was also a virgin. The sex was awful. But after about three months she knew what to do. Again, We loved each other at the time. I'm 50. Even at 50 I've dated women in their 30's all the way up to my age. These women have been married. Some over 20 yrs. The first time we had sex it wasn't that great. It was not because of inexperience on either ones part. It was because, Well, Straight fact, When you meet someone new and it finally comes down to the point, One fact doesn't change, We are all different. What pleased the one before you may not please the next. Simply put, It takes time to figure out how to please each other. Even if you are both highly experienced. Usually the first time sucks. And this "Try it before you buy it" thing, That's bullshyt. That's what people say who all they really want is sex. Love doesn't matter. If you really love the man or the woman, You truly love each other, You work it out and the sex will get better and the closer you will get to each other. If you are like so many now that base their relationships on sex first, Well, I hate to say it, But it's truth. You will never know what true happiness is in your relationships. You base it on love first and a deep willingness to put the other first, Sex will be great. (Eventually) If you find yourself incompatible in the sack and because of that you will call it quits or stop dating her/him, You didn't love the person to start with. You didn't belong together to start with. You were in lust. You were not in love.

edmguy94 Joined Sat 08/25/12 Posts: 20	Sat 09/15/12 06:42 PM
for me it has always been a turnoff , virgins always remember thier first and i dont wanna be remembered lol i wanna be forgotten lmao

IspeakLOVE Joined Sat 09/15/12 Posts: 58	Sat 09/15/12 10:48 PM
I would say a turn on ;)

red_lace Joined Sat 04/17/10 Posts: 7247	Sun 09/16/12 04:05 AM
So what should one do if they save themselves then after marriage find they are quite incompatible in the sack? At my age I'm not worried about it. But If I were a young man or woman and somebody asked me this, I would have to answer with a question. "Where is the love" You see, I've been down this road twice in my life. I met my first love when she was 20. She was a virgin. I fell very deep in love with this woman. So deep that the first time we had sex I didn't care that she knew not what she was doing. It's a learning curve. If you truly love each other the way you are supposed to the sex will get better as you go. If she hadn't died I would have married her in a heart beat. Two yrs later I met my X wife. She was also a virgin. The sex was awful. But after about three months she knew what to do. Again, We loved each other at the time. I'm 50. Even at 50 I've dated women in their 30's all the way up to my age. These women have been married. Some over 20 yrs. The first time we had sex it wasn't that great. It was not because of inexperience on either ones part. It was because, Well, Straight fact, When you meet someone new and it finally comes down to the point, One fact doesn't change, We are all different. What pleased the one before you may not please the next. Simply put, It takes time to figure out how to please each other. Even if you are both highly experienced. Usually the first time sucks. And this "Try it before you buy it" thing, That's bullshyt. That's what people say who all they really want is sex. Love doesn't matter. If you really love the man or the woman, You truly love each other, You work it out and the sex will get better and the closer you will get to each other. If you are like so many now that base their relationships on sex first, Well, I hate to say it, But it's truth. You will never know what true happiness is in your relationships. You base it on love first and a deep willingness to put the other first, Sex will be great. (Eventually) If you find yourself incompatible in the sack and because of that you will call it quits or stop dating her/him, You didn't love the person to start with. You didn't belong together to start with. You were in lust. You were not in love. Nice answer. :)

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Sun 09/16/12 08:54 AM
Kinda funny that you think only the FIRST time should be special. Losing your virginity should be no more special then any other time you share your self in the most intimate way with someone else. Just like the first time you do anything. There is a learning curve. Virgin sex is just bad since you have no idea what you are doing. Experience and not being uptight about sex makes sex that much more enjoyable. Practice makes perfect. Casual promiscuous sex is just bad. Holding out for marriage is also just bad. There are just some people that you arent compatible with sexually. What a rude awakening that would be when you find out after you are married. Would you buy a car and not drive it first? Would you buy a pair of shoes and not try them on first? u are the first person I have seen who has this understanding of WHY casual is a BORE. it's like the first time over and over.... Haven't you ever been with someone for the first time and had it be amazing?

ladyvenus Joined Fri 08/20/10 Posts: 88	Sun 09/16/12 07:41 PM
Would you buy a car and not drive it first? Would you buy a pair of shoes and not try them on first? It's really not the same thing, or at least shouldn't be regarded as such. I mean, loving someone and appreciating a car or a pair of shoes should be totally different things, but seems now a days more and more people are treating love just as such. I agree humans cannot be compared to material things

Charles1962150 Joined Tue 03/13/12 Posts: 3403	Sun 09/16/12 10:57 PM
Would you buy a car and not drive it first? Would you buy a pair of shoes and not try them on first? It's really not the same thing, or at least shouldn't be regarded as such. I mean, loving someone and appreciating a car or a pair of shoes should be totally different things, but seems now a days more and more people are treating love just as such. I agree humans cannot be compared to material things If I knew that a woman I was dating,That I thought a lot of, Was waiting to sleep with me before she would commit to me, I think I would have to make up her mind for her. That would be the end. Because then I would know that she didn't love me, She just wanted sex. I don't mean to step on any ones toes here. But to me, These "Try it before you buy it" people are lowest of the low. They mess with your heart. They play with your feelings. Make you feel like you have a connection with them. They sleep with you and all the while you don't know it,you're in the spot light. While you are giving this person your heart, They are "critiquing" you and your performance in the sack. May as well say,Behind your back. This has never happened to me simply because I will not let it. But I've known several men and women that this has happened to them. They were devastated. There they were. Giving this person there hearts and there bodies only to find out this person used them. They were not good enough. Being like that to another human being is enough to get you hurt. And I mean the, Laying in a ditch beat half to death kinda hurt.

brendi77 Joined Tue 08/09/11 Posts: 2	Sun 09/16/12 11:28 PM
I think that if you wait its a good thing cause sadly not many people in this day and age can say they are virgins at least the people i have met. I am proud to say that im a virgin and that if you want to have sex go for it but take responsiblity for your actions and if you cant afford to have a child then dont have sex cause you never know how safe the sex your having is. thats just what i think.

Charles1962150 Joined Tue 03/13/12 Posts: 3403	Wed 09/19/12 11:29 PM
I think that if you wait its a good thing cause sadly not many people in this day and age can say they are virgins at least the people i have met. I am proud to say that I'm a virgin and that if you want to have sex go for it but take responsibility for your actions and if you cant afford to have a child then don't have sex cause you never know how safe the sex your having is. that's just what i think.

Rawrr_Girl Joined Sun 10/04/09 Posts: 4431	Thu 09/20/12 01:50 AM
if you cant afford to have a child then dont have sex Hell yeah

Rexxiedavie Joined Sun 09/12/10 Posts: 2248	Thu 09/20/12 05:20 AM
Am one and bloody so cos my so old school dad kept us lock n key indoors. That bad i had to escape to play ball with the guys. Ended up i find it hard to speak up to a girl. But i ve come close to touchin a girl sometime ago and a female coleague who knew my status sometime 2010 showed me her boob,and i know theres something electrifying about a woman. Although i dont condemn it,but I bloody hate to be a virgin. By the way,how does kissing feel or taste like? I love the scenes on movies

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Thu 09/20/12 05:57 AM
if you cant afford to have a child then dont have sex Hell yeah Not everyone is having sex solely to make babies. While I get accidents happen, people aren't going to stop having sex if they don't want to have a baby.