When you are in a relationship, do you work to protect it so as to keep your partner feeling 'safe and secure' in your love? If so what would you say or do when insecurity or jealousy raises it's head?

In my experience, I have learned that being honest and up front will work out for the better. Either she will have insecurities that will destroy the relationship, or a solid amount of trust will be built.

The last two ladies I was talking to, I told them up front that it will be rare that I will say "I love you," but you will know how I feel by how I act. Normally, if I feel like we were going somewhere, a good morning / good night text message or going out of my way, simply to spend time with them (they both lived very far away, a half a tank of gas round trip was the minimal) even though I was unemployed.

One of the two always thought I was up to something, but daily I was inviting her to spend time with me and my family, me and my friends, or simply me when I was at home alone. On the days I had band practice, I always offered her to go to practice and get to meet the band, but she never wanted to go to practice, hell, she never wanted to go to church with me, but she always accused me of cheating on her with someone while I was at church.

I know a bit of a rant, but I was trying to paint a picture more than rant. I do apologize if it came off in any other way than I intended.

What will be will be. No need for jealousy or insecurity.


yeah I do feel twinges sometimes but blow it off as jealousy is an emotion of possession, and I don't possess anyone.

You dem right trying to possess someone is stupid human behaviour

I agree with this statement

yes I do. I try to avoid behaviors that would make him jealous. I can't say I go "out of my way," just good manners I guess. I pay attention to him when I am with him on a date (rather than wandering all over the room) and am honest about my feelings...if I am also dating others etc

but if someone tries to limit or end your friendships with others - that is not good - jealousy is a natural emotion - it;s best to talk about it together if it happens

Good communication skills are a must.

When I was with my ex never had to say a word, she always seemed to sense when I had any feelings of jealousy and would be open and honest with me, I rarely felt jealousy with my ex, I suppose she was what one would call a good girl.
I think if you are in a long term relationship,you only need to be honest with one other, if I didn't feel comfortable with any of my ex's male friends or situations we would calmly discuss it.

Eh. Those moments where she is feeling not so secure about Moi's love, I send her some flowers with a card that reads, "Hey baby. These flowers are a reminder that I love you. Oh yeah...you'll be receiving a box from Victoria's Secret. Please be sure to put the gift on and show me how much you love me".

So if an insecure or jealous occasion happens, it is best to talk about it? Discussing boundaries would be good too.

Dude they catch on after awhile. Every time you f!ck up you bring home flowers. Then one time you bring home flowers it sets her off and she beats you over the head with the flowers. That's exactly why I don't ever buy roses. I buy carnations. They don't have thorns..........

The best way to hold a man is in your arms. ~Mae West (and she probably never felt insecure in a relationship)

a degree of jealousy and insecurity are normal emotions for most people and i think a successful relationship depends upon dealing with them. Security comes with experience, confidence and assurance, those couples who develop these things end up together long term.

I suppose if you REALLY enjoy being with someone you will work to ensure jealousy isn't a problem!

Words don't cut it!!

A Lil insecurity and jealousy is indeed normal.

if it gets a bit deeper.....then ya aint doin enough to show them they have no reason to be insecure or jealous.

Its simple.............

If you really wanna be with them......they will know it in your actions.

JMO

I agree. Verbal affirmations are not enough. Actions speak louder than words. But what actions make your partner secure or insecure? I have watched people flirt with the opposite sex just to make their S0 jealous.

well...I'd have to say that behaviour would prove two things.
There is a reason for one to feel insecure.....

And the other does not....deserve the....S.O

again....JMO

True love always seeks the other persons benefit. Most men know how to get a woman but they don't know how to keep her. My pastor taught that you keep a woman by continuing to do what you did to get her in the first place.

Oooh. I like

lol, an opinion or advice would suffice.