Ok, here's the problem. I've known him for a few years, he's a nice guy. We go out to dinner and have great conversation, laughs, all in all a good time. He calls me at least once a day, just to chat or ask me to go somewhere with him. I know he has strong feelings for me, and we've discussed this issue. He knows that i feel nothing but friendship for him. He now wants me to take a weekend trip with him. Two different rooms, just spending the days together. I told him that I didn't think that would be a good idea, that he was trying to win me over and that I couldn't help what my heart felt nor could he. He is still persuing the issue and won't let up? How do ya handle something like this when no doesn't seem to work?

It seems to me that you may have to just quit talking to him for alittle bit if he is that persistent. I had someone like that and eventually it was so uncomfortable for me that i just had to totally ignore him. It hurt me but it helped me feel better too. I dont know if that helped you at all but follow your heart. No one can make you do what you dont want to do.
Erika

yeh i agree..he's probably getting the idea that you will end up liking him more than u do now..i would stop hangin out with him or talking..he'll get the hint.

now you know this was going to happen..this guy is to nice for you. so why do you keep leting him do it but you know you just want to be friends? i would just have to tell him the truth you dont want to go on a trip with him tell him that he is trying to hard just relax. i mean there is nothing to say about this because you let this get this far now he wants you but you dont want him..so id just cut of all contact if its really that big of a deal that you cant go.

He is not respecting your feelings, he just wants things his way. You should probably just break if off completely, not even try to be his friend.

She didnt try to let it get that far. I certainly didnt when it happened to me. I was surprised that the person even had those feelings for me. I even felt bad because im not one to lead people on.

BUT one last thing i beg you to do is tell him he cant be being all nice and all..now i dont know anything about him..but tell him the facts so he dont do the same to another woman

I agree with you on that one

Ok here is another approach. Does the guy KNOW you won't ever feel love for him more than a friend? Is the weekend trip something that you both like to do? Then I say to go. Separate rooms, you pay for yours and he for his and just "hang out" (hey you'd do that with one of your female friends wouldnt you?)But be very very clear to him first that its just as friends. I have some male friends that we hang out together and go places and its strictly platonic. As long as the cards are on the table you are doing nothing wrong. If he insists on paying for the trip (ie: hotels etc) and maybe you cant financially afford it, then at least offer to pay half the gas or for the meals or something. Most of all though, make it clear that its just as friends because its something you both like to, or want to do.

Thanks for all the replies...
The thing is I've known him for years, but we started hanging out just recently. I've been up front and honest with him form the start. I told him that If he was looking for more then friends, he needed to move on. He assured me that was all it was. I like him as a friend... we have a lot in common, laugh alot and i truely enjoy his company, but i can't help how my heart feels and it feels nothing but friendship for him. I told him this and he just keeps on. I just didn't want to hurt him, unfortuntly that looks like the only way.

No one ever really wants to hurt someone. You were upfront and honest. Who could ask for anything more.
Good Luck
Erika

if all else fails, there is always the option of restraining order.

If you have made yourself clear, then I say you have to quit hanging out with him. The phone call every day would be a red flag for me, but that's me. I hate it when this happens. Unfortunately you end up losing a good friend, but it obvious he thinks you will eventually have romantic feelings for him. If you are positive you won't, you gotta let him go as a friend.

Sorry. It sucks, I know. Good Luck.

It sounds like he is head over heals in love w/ you so, you need to do the kind thing and do not go on that weekend trip. You don't need to stop talking to him completely, but you should slowly begin to reduce the time spent together and talking on the phone. It should not be more than once a week on average.

He may feel hurt (who wouldn't!), but it is really the kinder thing to do. I strongly suspect that regardless of how many times you tell him that you are not interested in him that way, apart of him will always continue to hope. This will prevent him from finding someone who could love as he deserves.

Good luck to both of you!!!!!!

i know this is a dumb question but why wont u date him

player:

Why should she date him if she doesn't love him????? That cruel beyond belief. Plus, she would get stuck in a relationship for a person she cares for, but does not love! They both deserve better than that!

Brewster....
I was in the exact same situation...it really sucks...but the only thing you can do is cut him off....because if you dont he might throw ..."Im good enough to hang out with ...but not be your boyfriend"....in your face....or something like that...just better to cut the ties....it will hurt both of you but in the end it will save your friendship....hopefully he will eventually figure it out...and accept it...if not its his loss.....any ?? you can email me...

ok--you mentioned one side of it---what's the other side?--lol

just kidding--

The reason i won't date him is because i don't feel anything for him... I mean i care, and it would be a loss if somthing happened to him, but my life would be the same. We talked last night about this and I could see the disappointment in his eyes, but he still calls today to see if i want to go swimming?

I think you should tell him about this site and tell him to find some new friends..... Ha Ha he sounds very persistant. Perhaps not only is he disappointed that you verbaly tell him you will never think of him that way but also the worry that he may lose you as a friend. Do you know if he has many other friends? It may just be that he needs to find someone else to have fun with to get his mind off you