I'm always myself...And there are a few people here that can testify to that. Perhaps that is why I'm single? No, probably not, I'm picky and that is why I'm single.

No point in misleading people into believing I'm something that I am not, that and I pride myself on my honesty...It would be dishonest to give anyone the wrong impression of who I am. Luckily, I manage to attract enough interest from people I'm also interested in, so I suppose it might work out eventually.

Or I'll go bat**** crazy...One or the other anyway.

Overwhelming people are responding that they are who they say they are without any conditions on their statement. I'm not sure I buy that. Not only have I experienced people not being who they say they are here, but I have a hard time believing that on-line personas are not being used to stretch things.

I bet I could ask some simple questions here that would challenge the (open book being yourself) statements here.

I'm not trying to be negative, I'm only saying that's it's ok to not be the same to everyone in every situation.

In other words it's not being fake when you have the ability to adapt (and we all do) to situations. Maybe people have a fear of being called fake or something, but do you really think you are the same in all situations? I find that highly unlikely.

Been thinking about this and the times I self edit and just stay off line when I am having a really crummy day come to mind. That isn't necessarily only staying off line sometimes it is just staying alone and not subjecting anyone else to my "bad" mood because the payback for giving people what you sorely wish you could sometimes is just not worth the greif that goes with it. So yea I think sometimes the me I chose to be may not be the "impulsive me" I feel like being sometimes and more the "acceptable" one.

As far as being Thin or thicked skinned it kind of depends on who I am dealling with. If someone has the power to may my day to day life miserable or I really have grown to care about I am sure the cost of doing bussiness is higher than the ones who may just be passing through or periferal. It kind of depends on who is saying it too. Someone I know pops off as matter of habit doesn't usually phase me.

Several on here that saying something/drawing something erotic or shocking is kind of typical and yet I have the impression they are probably the most protective/kind hearted Big Brother type a people I would ever want as a friend. Those people I don't get my panties in a wad about. lol

I think i'm being myself until i find myself in a situation that i've not encountered before, and forces out a side to me that i did not know that i had. Sometimes a facet that i don't like to see, but one that is apparently necessary in order for me to learn and grow from it...welllll...try to anyway.

I dislike reading/hearing anybody say things that they think you want to hear, so try not to do that myself. It defeats the purpose of learning.

Ummm...my sense of humour tends to be tongue in cheek most times, and you either get it or you don't. So it "behooves" me to have to explain myself

Great finding!!

All what you said is what I found correct.It's not really easy to be yourself not only here but almost everywhere in life.sometimes I think most of my life is being spent in the struggle for being what I'm really & for making others aware of my freedom to do so.

well done dude you raised a good question.

Dude....i'm not a dude.

I give up

Since the age of seven I have never compiled to the masses as you say.

It leaves one open to The Attack Hounds...but you puts your head above the parapet and let them do their worst...The Rabid Dogs are just Rabid

No point in misleading people into believing I'm something that I am not, that and I pride myself on my honesty...It would be dishonest to give anyone the wrong impression of who I am.

The art of being yourself…What does it mean, especially on a dating site where the art of being yourself is competing with the art of judging, evaluating, and fitting in with other posters?…I often discover even those who say they are not looking are looking..... What does it mean when the art of being yourself includes a "real" need to second guess some of what you post….Am I going to unintentionally offend someone, will my post cross the line of what is considered acceptable within the framework of site rules, will people misunderstand what I am trying to convey?…When I post, am I angry, am I sad, am I stressed, am I in a hurry, am I tired, am I hungry, am I high, am I sick?…..

EVERY time a person posts, they are being themselves "in that moment"…Why over analyze it?...People are not perfect…..Forum posting is a great ice breaker and a fabulous way to determine if you want to get to know a poster better by moving to something private, one-on-one…I would not even consider joining a dating site that did not offer forums….In my opinion, they save a lot of time and potential heartache and they are a great way to socialize, stay current, and learn new things...That's why married peeps and peeps in committed relationships stick around....Sooooo, MG is right, sometimes people are being true to themselves and sometimes they are not...BUT, who cares, it's always interesting....

We all have multiple facets to our personalities and it's just not possible to show them all at once. Hence the reason it takes time to get to know someone. Over the years I have shown all sides to my personality here. I have been kind, b!tchie, angry, sad, happy, silly, dumb and egotistical at various times.

All of those are really me. So, no one is lying when they say they are themselves just because they haven't shown every aspect of their personality here. Whether they just haven't been here long enough, or they choose to keep parts of their life private. It's genuine and real.

The bottom line is that you need to spend time with someone in real life to really begin to get to know them as a WHOLE person. And, in most cases here, that's not possible due to distance.

I don't think you have to be exactly the same in all situations to be who you say you are here. Being yourself doesn't mean you're always going to be the same.

Well said, Ruth.

Well, since you dissected us...Let's dissect your comment, eh? Only fair, I think.

First off; ask your simple questions...I'm interested and you kind of left me hanging here. Second thing is that no one can say how they are in every situation because some of us may not know and others of us may not want to share, I put it up to there as there isn't much point in knowing how I react to every situation if you and me are never going to meet, and considering I'm sure we will never meet there really isn't any point for you to know how I will react to every situation. Third thing is that my personality doesn't change, my actions/words may change pending a situation, but my personality is pretty straight-forward.

Maybe people do have the fear of being called fake, or maybe people are really just who they say they are. Hell if I know and quite honestly for the most part, hell if I care...Do you know what I find highly unlikely? That you can speak for anyone here, that I find highly unlikely, moreso that you can make a determination on character based on text.

I'm not being negative here, realistic yes, negative no. You have your own thoughts and personal reflections on the topic...Me? I just know myself better than you ever will.

Im sure by my completely inappropriate behavior on here,

you can tell that I only know how to be one thing,

and thats ME.

Take it or leave it, this is what you get.

I say what I mean, and I mean what I say,

and who ever doesnt like it,

ya dont have to read it.

Keep in mind however,

that since I am bi-polar,

if you dont like me,

wait 5 minutes, and then decide.

I think it is best to be yourself. If people can't accept you for who you are then its time to say goodbye.

Didn't mean to leave you hanging just been quite busy. I think this thread is very interesting and think there is a lot to learn from it. One of the things I learn on mingle and the internet in general is how when people say things the interpretation always comes down to the individual reader and not the writer necessarily. It also shows personality traits that are internet based and may not be what the person is like at all.

For example: if you and I were talking about this topic in person would we be saying the same words in person that we are saying on the net?

While we were talking, if there were children around would we use the same language or topics as opposed to person to person with only adults around?

When we are with the same sex, do we talk the same as if we were with the opposite sex? This is something I see men change up on big time.

Where we are in the presence of peaceful people are we the same as when in a lynch mob type crowd?

Do we tell people face to face when we disagree with them or talk behind their back? The internet is not face to face BTW. It's easy to be bold on the net but when you are face to face it is a totally different circumstance.

Are we the same person when in a good mood as opposed to a bad mood?

Are you racial? Again easy to say you are not when on the web.

When in work mode are you the same person as non-work mode?

When at church are you a different person as the ride home from church?

Are you more vocal on a forum than in person?

Do you judge people on a forum more than you would if you were actually across the table from them?

________________________

Personally I think that kahurangi has started another great topic (even though she's a dude "JK") and gives us a chance to show pieces of us so we can all see how different we are and maybe how much we have in common.

I do find it funny that you used the word dissected. See I never would have thought that unless you said something. It makes me wonder if in person you would find me to be that way at all. And what's also interesting is you were the furthest person from my mind when I was making any of my comments yet you felt in some way I was making an assumption about you. Your correct, how could I possibly know you beyond these threads. In fact I don't even remember us ever having contact or discussion on any thread. But I do know a little about you now.

Sure, people may be different in different situations, but that does not mean they're not being themselves.

Sure, I'd use the same words to talk to you on here as in person. As I would whether I were talking to men or women.

I don't change into a different person when I'm at different places. They're all me.

You seem to be thinking that being yourself means you're exactly the same all the time. I don't think that's possible for anyone.

I'm not sure I said they are not being themselves at any time did I? I think that people are being themselves even though they seem different from one time to another depending on the situation, which was my original point. I don't think I know anyone personally that doesn't change per situation.

Maybe people feel like they are the same at all times but I deal with real people involved in real life. And real people deal with a lot of info running through their brains. Doesn't make us good or bad, it's just reality.

There is so much to read on the subject of our minds being in reactive mode and how we have fixed vs changeable thinking that it blows my mind. We are thinking, reacting, adapting creatures. Our minds whether we want them to or not are always looking for an angle. We think on multiple levels and are constantly in situation mode.

Sometimes on mingle I think we complicate things when all we really have to do is take a course or read on line about topics to gain an understanding. In this case from what I have read and seen of course we put on different faces depending on the situation that we find ourselves in.

LOL, I actually wrote a bunch of references from journals about this topic to share, but then erase them lol. There I go being my mingle self. Would I even have this conversation with someone outside of being on-line? Doubtful. So what, I'm I just bored to death when I come here? Maybe, that has something to do with it, but in reality this gives my mind another chapter to explore. It makes me put things in writing. It makes me react in writing. So, maybe it's not boredom as much as wanting to interact in writing in a way that I have no time to do in my normal life. Maybe mingle has become a part of my norm in some way. Do I do anything like this in my life? Yes, in business but it is nothing like the things I read or talk about here.

So, if for those who wish to have an answer, for me at least. Yes, this is another face than I have anywhere else. Is it me? Yes, but different than the me I know in my other situations. It's like a life outside of my usual life. It's words, no voices, no visual streaming, no touch, no real time responses. It's far different than a call, or live talk in person. Sometimes it seems a little more cat and mouse-ish, a little he said she said-ish, a little club-ish, and very much mingle-ish. Sorry if this doesn't meet anyones standards, but I'm being honest. Not fake, just different lol.

Sir, I like the way you think... In a brotherly kind of way of course

Could you do me a favor, and post the next 20 of my posts? I'm having trouble getting things across to some


PS: Yes... I'd pay you!