I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

Is it true that cannibals do not eat clowns because they taste funny?

How do most men define marriage?
A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.

Son: Dad, how much does it cost to get married?
Dad: I do not know son, I am still paying for it.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

and the darkest hour is always right before...well...before you die, lol!

The first 'insight' was freaken hilarious. You know when you hear a good joke, cause you are already planning on telling it to most people you know. No offence Pakistani friends :-)

I can always count on you for great laughs

dude you are off the chain

keep it coming