Coast Guard on Alert
By Andy Borowitz

OTTAWA (The Borowitz Report) - The Canadian coast guard was on alert today, preparing for what it fears could be a massive invasion of boat people from Wisconsin.

Conor McGlindon, commander of the Royal Canadian Mounted Coast Guard (RCMCG), said that satellite photos had revealed a "substantial flotilla" in the making, as Wisconsinites prepared to flee their state for their neighbor to the North.

"Word has gotten around that we have policemen, firemen, and basic school lunches up here," Mr. McGlindon said. "You can't blame these boat people for seeking a better life. But we are under orders to intercept them."

In Canada, officials fear that refugees from Wisconsin will brave the treacherous journey across Lake Superior in the hopes of giving birth to so-called "anchor babies" on Canadian soil.

Mr. McGlindon offered reporters a look at satellite photos showing the boat people larding their vessels with wheels of premium cheddar cheese, possibly in the hopes of bribing Canadian officials on Superior's northern shore.

"We are telling all of our men that under no circumstances should they accept offerings of cheese," he said. "These boat people are desperate and they will try anything."

Reports of the looming refugee crisis coincided with the release of a new poll showing that Gov. Scott Walker is now the most hated man in Wisconsin, narrowly edging Brett Favre.

Speaking at the state capitol, Gov. Walker seemed philosophical about his legacy: "I'm not worried how history will remember me, because if I have my way there won't be any history teachers."
(c) 2012 Andy Borowitz



http://www.issuesandalibis.org/

What? Canada doesn't have any Drones to take them out?

I'm sure this is an honest mistake, but this belongs in the joke section and you put it in the politics section.

I like it, it refers to current events.

Just when I think your post can't get anymore ignorant you prove me wrong.
The only people leavi g WI are the union goons shipped in to try and steal the recall election.
And if these ignorant liberal idiots who wanted this recall don't like it maybe they should move to a more liberal state like California because we know the liberals are doing such a great job of running that state.

Canadian Mounted Coast Guard

Gotta love The Onion.

That's fine, less libtards to vote for Obama!