Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: So this is a dating site---- what do you have to offer?
indianadave4 Joined Wed 02/09/11 Posts: 1308	Wed 05/23/12 04:52 PM
I'm just me. They have to get to know me and see if I'm what they want. Interestingly enough, most men will say the same thing. However, on a dating site most women view most men with skepticizm and seldom respond to messages. So in the end men and women don't cut each other enough slack to try to get to know one another. In real life that first meeting (even by accident) can open a door not usually available on dating sites. We don't trust each other. I almost always respond to messages. If they haven't put any effort into the messages, I may not respond for long, though. So, not all of us are like you described. Then you are different than most women. Most men get writers cramp and never get a response. I can understand the "she's not interested in you" but after dozens of messages with no responses and no profile views the average man will give up. Somehow, the bad boys seem to get responses. I've often wondered if it's because they start playing on women's emotions even with the first message. When most messages from men on here are something like: "hi" "hey baby" "hey sexy" "hru" "sup" I can see why they don't get responses. Those who tend to put a bit more effort (doesn't mean they have to write a ton) into it probably do get better responses. Theoretically this sounds nice. However, most men here (and on other sites) state they read women's profiles, write a message to that lady and mention something they seem to have in common. Yet they receive few if any responses. As I stated previously, the bad boys seem to get most of the responses. How can one tell? Women continuously ask "are there any real men here"? And they claim all of the men they come come in contact with only want sex. Could it be that women's jerk filters really don't work for them?

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Wed 05/23/12 05:01 PM
Theoretically this sounds nice. However, most men here (and on other sites) state they read women's profiles, write a message to that lady and mention something they seem to have in common. Yet they receive few if any responses. As I stated previously, the bad boys seem to get most of the responses. How can one tell? Women continuously ask "are there any real men here"? And they claim all of the men they come come in contact with only want sex. Could it be that women's jerk filters really don't work for them? It's nice that you believe that most of these men are reading profiles. And while I can only speak for myself and the kinds of emails I get, what I listed before was what most of the emails start out as. Then some say they liked my profile. When asked what they liked, they say the pictures. Generally, most people do not read profiles. As for men who just want sex, there are plenty out there. Why do you think most of the guys who get responses are "bad boys?" What makes them "bad boys" in your eyes?

Totage Joined Sat 10/13/07 Posts: 24210	Wed 05/23/12 05:39 PM
Since this is a dating site some (not all) people here are looking to find a mate, partner, date or spouse. I see many people talking about what they want in a partner, but I don't see much about what they have to offer their partner. How would you sell yourself? What do you have to offer? Are you a great catch or not? I have nothing to offer anyone apparently. Why do you say that? You asked? lol :P But, I say I have nothing to offer because I can't offer what people seem to be seeking.

Jeanniebean Joined Wed 01/30/08 Posts: 40028	Wed 05/23/12 08:35 PM
Since this is a dating site some (not all) people here are looking to find a mate, partner, date or spouse. I see many people talking about what they want in a partner, but I don't see much about what they have to offer their partner. How would you sell yourself? What do you have to offer? Are you a great catch or not? I have nothing to offer anyone apparently. Why do you say that? You asked? lol :P But, I say I have nothing to offer because I can't offer what people seem to be seeking. What is it that you feel people are seeking that you can't offer? I'm sure all people are not seeking the same things.

Jeanniebean Joined Wed 01/30/08 Posts: 40028	Wed 05/23/12 08:40 PM
Since this is a dating site some (not all) people here are looking to find a mate, partner, date or spouse. I see many people talking about what they want in a partner, but I don't see much about what they have to offer their partner. How would you sell yourself? What do you have to offer? Are you a great catch or not? I'm not a great catch. I'd probably make your life a living hell. Don't say I didn't warn you.

PacificStar48 Joined Tue 10/02/07 Posts: 13764	Wed 05/23/12 09:17 PM
I think if I am a great catch or not depends on the person doing the catching. I can offer someone the sun and the moon and the stars but if that is not what they want then hey no going to work. What do I offer? Well the short answer is who I am; what I have pretty much always been and probably always will be. So what I offer is a developed persona. If you like it you a person would know what they are getting into. The longer answer would to some degree a traditional, conservative, responsible, loyal,, predictable, partner personality that likes to share, even please, but not to be in a lopsided relationship. I don't want to be the boss or be bossed so what I offer most is balance. While I like a certain degree of individuality and creativity I think I offer acceptance to people who don't fit into the stereotype view of being . Well past childbearing age I am still family oriented I think I offer a sense of family and could fit into a person's life who was family oriented. My kids are grown on the opposite coast, doing well and parents deceased so so probably not going to be a lot more than occassionally more than the nuclear couple as family but liking that overall orientation. I am retired so I am not going to bring a career identity to have to compete with so I think I offer a certain degree of freedom that way. If someone is looking for a income they might be a little disappointed since far from rich but i already have most of the things I have ever wanted. Done many of the things I want to do at least once. Well traveled, a variety of experiences , some higher education I think I can actually hold enough of a conversation on a variety of topics so to be a pretty good companion. A bit of a practical joker and kid at heart humor wise I think I can be fun to hang out with. While I don't think it translates well on line I am a pretty affectionate passionate person in person. I think I offer more the old school behind closed doors kind of romance. Don't have that much exposure but hey never had any inperson complaints. I would say the most important thing I offer is nothing less than what I expect so a person would get a fair deal with meif they were willing to do the same.

420latinfun Joined Thu 05/24/12 Posts: 2	Fri 05/25/12 02:32 PM
thats the point to find someone that understands and likes how you really are! but for that u gotta find that person in which u can be who u really are with them

Ash36 Joined Fri 12/24/10 Posts: 19735	Fri 05/25/12 02:37 PM
I think this site is much more a social networking site. And I dont have anything to offer except my thoughts

indianadave4 Joined Wed 02/09/11 Posts: 1308	Fri 05/25/12 06:37 PM
Theoretically this sounds nice. However, most men here (and on other sites) state they read women's profiles, write a message to that lady and mention something they seem to have in common. Yet they receive few if any responses. As I stated previously, the bad boys seem to get most of the responses. How can one tell? Women continuously ask "are there any real men here"? And they claim all of the men they come come in contact with only want sex. Could it be that women's jerk filters really don't work for them? It's nice that you believe that most of these men are reading profiles. And while I can only speak for myself and the kinds of emails I get, what I listed before was what most of the emails start out as. Then some say they liked my profile. When asked what they liked, they say the pictures. Generally, most people do not read profiles. As for men who just want sex, there are plenty out there. Why do you think most of the guys who get responses are "bad boys?" What makes them "bad boys" in your eyes?

Ghostrider2u Joined Thu 05/17/07 Posts: 6953	Fri 05/25/12 07:10 PM
I have two brown m&m's.... 32 cents in change.... a bottle cap...... and..... some belly button lint!!!!! I hope thats enough!!!!

txsweetheart87 Joined Wed 05/23/12 Posts: 5	Fri 05/25/12 07:14 PM
Im just the kind of girl that will always be there for someone,support them in any way, be honest. I can be a dork im good at bringing a smile to ones face. Im a good kisser i might add dd:nowa

Rawrr_Girl Joined Sun 10/04/09 Posts: 4431	Fri 05/25/12 09:34 PM
How many things can you juggle? Five at the most.

Dodo_David Joined Fri 08/13/10 Posts: 48928	Fri 05/25/12 09:45 PM
>i promise to write back as soon as i can >when you're sick, i'll be your medicine >when you're lonely,i'll keep your company >when you fall short on anything,i'll be your lift >when you're lost,i'll hold your hand,and together we'll find the way >but when you say "i love you", im outta here! Well, can I replace "i love you" with "is it hot in here, or is it just you?"

Dodo_David Joined Fri 08/13/10 Posts: 48928	Fri 05/25/12 09:47 PM
Are you a great catch or not? If I were a great catch, then shouldn't a woman be using bait to lure me?

Godiva Joined Tue 12/09/08 Posts: 5330	Fri 05/25/12 09:53 PM
I can offer me. Which should be damn well good enough. Oh... and cookies. I can offer cookies to. And maybe tea.

indianadave4 Joined Wed 02/09/11 Posts: 1308	Sat 05/26/12 04:53 PM
Theoretically this sounds nice. However, most men here (and on other sites) state they read women's profiles, write a message to that lady and mention something they seem to have in common. Yet they receive few if any responses. As I stated previously, the bad boys seem to get most of the responses. How can one tell? Women continuously ask "are there any real men here"? And they claim all of the men they come come in contact with only want sex. Could it be that women's jerk filters really don't work for them? It's nice that you believe that most of these men are reading profiles. And while I can only speak for myself and the kinds of emails I get, what I listed before was what most of the emails start out as. Then some say they liked my profile. When asked what they liked, they say the pictures. Generally, most people do not read profiles. As for men who just want sex, there are plenty out there. Why do you think most of the guys who get responses are "bad boys?" What makes them "bad boys" in your eyes? Why do you think most of the guys who get responses are "bad boys?" 1. Because most men who are interested in a relationship seldom get responses from women. 2. The majority of women complain that most of the guys they respond to and/or who they choose to go out with end up only want sex. So explain how the gentlemen are bypassed and the bad boys qualify for a message response? I would assume it's because the bad boys know how to say all of the right things and play on womens emotions. A man looking for a relationship doesn't do this but (I assume) seems less interesting up front. Men can only guess that women try to filter out the jerks but only end up filtering out the guy who wants a relationship: Ex: Where are all the nice guys? Why can't I find a real man?

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Sat 05/26/12 05:22 PM
1. Because most men who are interested in a relationship seldom get responses from women. 2. The majority of women complain that most of the guys they respond to and/or who they choose to go out with end up only want sex. So explain how the gentlemen are bypassed and the bad boys qualify for a message response? I would assume it's because the bad boys know how to say all of the right things and play on womens emotions. A man looking for a relationship doesn't do this but (I assume) seems less interesting up front. Men can only guess that women try to filter out the jerks but only end up filtering out the guy who wants a relationship: Ex: Where are all the nice guys? Why can't I find a real man? What I can tell you is what I've already said. Most of the messages are like what I've said earlier. I'm guessing those kind of first emails get ignored a lot, as there is no effort. I don't believe that men have to be "bad boys" to get a response. They just have to put a little thought into what they're writing. If something doesn't work, they have to change it, rather than whining that no one is responding.

Dodo_David Joined Fri 08/13/10 Posts: 48928	Sat 05/26/12 05:25 PM
Why do you think most of the guys who get responses are "bad boys?" 1. Because most men who are interested in a relationship seldom get responses from women. 2. The majority of women complain that most of the guys they respond to and/or who they choose to go out with end up only want sex. So explain how the gentlemen are bypassed and the bad boys qualify for a message response? I would assume it's because the bad boys know how to say all of the right things and play on womens emotions. A man looking for a relationship doesn't do this but (I assume) seems less interesting up front. Men can only guess that women try to filter out the jerks but only end up filtering out the guy who wants a relationship: Ex: Where are all the nice guys? Why can't I find a real man? Shhh! Those facts are not supposed to be admitted here.

indianadave4 Joined Wed 02/09/11 Posts: 1308	Sat 05/26/12 06:17 PM
1. Because most men who are interested in a relationship seldom get responses from women. 2. The majority of women complain that most of the guys they respond to and/or who they choose to go out with end up only want sex. So explain how the gentlemen are bypassed and the bad boys qualify for a message response? I would assume it's because the bad boys know how to say all of the right things and play on womens emotions. A man looking for a relationship doesn't do this but (I assume) seems less interesting up front. Men can only guess that women try to filter out the jerks but only end up filtering out the guy who wants a relationship: Ex: Where are all the nice guys? Why can't I find a real man? What I can tell you is what I've already said. Most of the messages are like what I've said earlier. I'm guessing those kind of first emails get ignored a lot, as there is no effort. I don't believe that men have to be "bad boys" to get a response. They just have to put a little thought into what they're writing. If something doesn't work, they have to change it, rather than whining that no one is responding. Answer this one question: If you're new and spent the last 6 months to a year messaging men and get little if any response what will your reaction be? After a while you'd cease writing. I've read countless posts here and on another site where men say they eventually cease writing. Marketing 101: if the existing program isn't producing results why continue? Online dating isn't very productive for men with regards to finding dates. Real life is much better.

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Sat 05/26/12 07:27 PM
Answer this one question: If you're new and spent the last 6 months to a year messaging men and get little if any response what will your reaction be? After a while you'd cease writing. I've read countless posts here and on another site where men say they eventually cease writing. Marketing 101: if the existing program isn't producing results why continue? Online dating isn't very productive for men with regards to finding dates. Real life is much better. If I wasn't getting any responses at all, I would have tried to figure it out way before six months. I would change what I'm doing. Change how I'm writing to people. This is just another way to meet people. It should never be the only way to meet people. Everyone should be getting out in real life to meet people as well.