Topic: Dark Dreams
dmanjo's photo
Fri 05/11/12 09:24 AM
Edited by dmanjo on Fri 05/11/12 09:28 AM
A sad life it’s all trite
Search keen knife glean
Jailed soul first scene
Lights up open dream

Darkness fills a tragic mind
Where trying only kills the time
Repetition as a course of action
A time a line no more distraction

A lifetime’s trials to find a line
Where happiness and love combine
Acceptance calming brand new truth
Lightning split trees all rotten roots

Family trees long time disease
A soul wants lost a soul wants seas
Sharpened axe smooth hardwood handle
Chop a V then light a candle

A soul found trapped in nothingness
Despite its love despite its gifts
A soul that withers and soon dies
Within those fears that wet the eyes

And fear combines to find the line
Where life’s relief is just a dime
Crisp white papers black ink sign
Material things to leave behind

A sad life it’s all trite
Search keen knife glean
Freed soul end scene
Fade light close dream

jemare's photo
Fri 05/11/12 12:24 PM
I enjoyed this. I hope you don't mind... in my thoughts I changed the second line to the fourth verse: A soul wants, what the eyes can't see. flowerforyou

dmanjo's photo
Fri 05/11/12 06:24 PM
Edited by dmanjo on Fri 05/11/12 06:25 PM
don't mind at all, although meaning is open to interpretation.

It fits very well depending on how you interpret the verse.

in the first case the soul is escaping the family trees with disease so its looking to be lost at sea.

I have to admmit i find it difficult expaining meainng in my poems since they are mostly biographical and filled with hidden meaning.

I have one that has been read many times and no has yet to find the hidden lines in it.

Please excuse me now, in hoping you don't mind since this came to me as soon as i read your line.

A soul wants, what the eyes can't see
To sooth it in those times of need
A soul wants, what the eyes can see
By contradicting want for need


jemare's photo
Fri 05/11/12 07:47 PM
You turned a simple line into a wonderful poem. Not everyone can do that flowerforyou

poppashroom's photo
Mon 05/14/12 12:23 PM
A pleasure to read, thank you