A Blonde is watching the news with her husband.

The newscaster says, "Six Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident."

The blonde starts crying. Turning to her husband she says sobbing,
"That's horrible".

Confused, he responds, "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were
skydiving. And, well, there is that risk involved."

After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing says, "Honey,
how many is a Brazilian?"

what do you get 3 blondes standing together?a wind tunnel!

what is a brunette called that stands between 2 blondes? an interpriter!

sorry for the bad spelling!

OMG UK, you are too much!!!

How do you make a blonde laugh on Friday?

Tell her a joke on Monday!

Blonde Detectives

Three blondes were witnesses to a crime, so they went to the police station to identify the suspect. The police chief said he would show them a mug shot of someone for thirty seconds, then ask each one for a description. After showing the photo to the first blonde, he covered it, then asked her how she would recognize the suspect.

"Easy, " she replied. "He only has one eye."

The chief was stunned. "He only has one eye because it is a profile shot! Think about it!" He repeated the procedure for the second blonde and again asked how she would recognize him.

"He only has one ear, " was her answer.

"What is the matter with you people?!? It is a profile shot! You are seeing him from the side!" He repeated the procedure for the third blonde, then said, "How would you recognize the suspect? Now think before you give me a stupid answer."

After viewing the photo, she thought for a minute, then said, "He's wearing contact lenses."

This took the chief by surprise. He looked real hard at the picture and couldn't tell if the suspect had contacts or not, so he went into the database and looked at the report. Sure enough, when the mug shot was taken, he was wearing contact lenses! He went back to her and asked, "How could you tell he was wearing contact lenses? Nobody else here in this precinct saw that!"

"Well, " she said, "he can't wear regular glasses with only one eye and one ear, now, can he?"

A blonde goes into the drug store to buy some condoms because her friend told her that she should learn about practicing safe sex. She walks up to the pharmacist and asks, "How much for a box of rubbers?" "They're six dollars for a box of three," he replies, "Plus sixty cents for the tax." "Oh," replies the bonde, "I always wondered how they kept them on.....!!!"

and lostmom.....ooowwwwwwwww!!!

how did the blonde break her legs while raking the leaves?

she fell out of the tree.

good one, jwaddy!

what's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?

a rooster says cocadoodledoo

a blonde says any c0ck'll do

Game Of Intelligence
There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00

The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.

While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball, and, seeing no one around that it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts.

Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A blonde girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts. "What's that?" she asked, her eyes gleaming with lust. "Tennis ball," came the breathless reply. "Oh," said the bonde girl sympathetically, "that must be painful. I had tennis elbow once."

there were 3 people a Red Head,Brunette,and Blonde

They were driving along and they're car blew up and they found a store

each person could buy a year supply of 1 item. The Red head bought burgers the other two asked Why'd you bring that and she said in case I get hungry.

The brunette bought water and the other two asked why'd you bring that and she said in case I get thirsty

and The blonde bought a care door and the other two asked why and she said so if I get hot I can roll down my windom...

lol

haha good ones

what do you call a blonde who died her hair brown?

artificial intelligence.

it turns out, blonde caskets are extremely expensive to make. they have to be custom crafted by an expert carpenter into the shape of a T. after all, whenever a blonde falls on her back, her legs spread open.

k, those were pretty corny. i've gotta make up for 'em.

There were three women who were at the gynecologist having pre-natal checkups The doctor asked the first woman "in what position was the baby conceived ?"

"He was on top ", she replied.
"You will have a boy !" the doctor exclaimed.

The second woman was asked the same question.
"I was on top ", was the reply.
"you will have a baby girl. " said the doctor.

With this, the third women, a blonde, bursts out
"I'm gonna have puppies!"

Milk Bath

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. So she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk.

When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons so he knocked on her door to clarify the point.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?"

The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."

The milkman asked, "Do you want it Pasteurized?"

The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs, I can splash it in my eyes."

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

why did the blonde have square tits?
because she forgot to take the tissues out of the boxes.

why did the blonde start using the pill?
so she would know what day of the week it is.

why did she stop using the pill?
because it kept falling out.