After 11 days in hospital, Dad is now in a nursing home. I pray it will be a short stay.They are to help him build the strength back up in his legs and arms,so he can come home. Dr. has stop cancer pills and I'm not sure if he'll put him back on them at all. It seems that is where most of the problems that Dad is having now is coming from.I'm not sure if that menas the end is near. I want him to beable to come home and stay home. I really didn't want to leave him tonight,that place is so depressing,bed by the wall,no clock on wall,no pictures,no tv,no phone,almost of the day,no one came to check on him. He already wants to come home.which he can get a pass.I can take puppies up to see him. I wanted him closer to home,but I think I made a mistake. I just pray that they'll watch over him,don't let him fall.I pray that he'll work with them and me,because I'm going to be there with him everyday. He belongs home with his family.

Keeping you in our prayers.

Dad's second day and already he wants to come home. He is down in the dumps,just what I was afraid of. Jodi[his worker] is suppose to get him a tv,also maybe moved into a front room with windows,so it will be sunny. To find out Nemo needs one shot and he can go visit dad.I can bring him home for a few hours,I'm afraid he won't want to go back,then what do I do. If the bard headed man would just eat.. They are going to work on his legs/arms on monday. He told one nurse that his doctor told him that he didn't have cancer anymore. where this came from,I don't know. If he does he's best for 2/weeks,but still wants to come home,I'm bringin him home and I'll do my best to take care of him. That is my promise.

I hate to say it...jmo...but maybe him thinking he doesn't have cancer anymore might give him a little morality boost/encouragement (?). Medicine, hospitals, doctors, etc. are useful...to a point sometimes...but in some cases you have to follow your gut and heart to do what you think is best.

I hope he does better with his current situation. Even if it is for a short time, maybe make his room as homey and decorative as possible, bring some additional personal things from home such as a favorite blanket, chair, clock, pictures, etc.

Love and hugs.

Watch, O Lord, with those who wake, or watch, or weep tonight, and give your angels charge over those who sleep.

Tend your sick ones, O Lord Christ.
Rest your weary ones.
Bless your dying ones.
Soothe your suffering ones.
Pity your afflicted ones.
Shield your joyous ones.
And for all your love's sake. Amen.

I went through the whole process of lung cancer with my dad also. I know what you are going through, and I agree with the person who said it may be for the best if he believes that he doesn't have cancer. We granted my dad's wishes to die at home, and though it was difficult, we never regretted that decision.

My mom was diagnosed with bladder cancer last October, but she is doing fine. It was a bit easier with my dad, because my brother lived a few doors down from us, in his own apartment, so he would come up to our apartment at 10:00 at night to give my mom and I a few hours of rest. He doesn't live in our neighborhood anymore, and I live alone with my mom. As I said though, my mom is doing well. Don't give up hope for your mom, you never know when God will grant a miracle.

My prayers are with you and your family.

At some point your Dad may decide that how he is how he is going to be for the rest of his life. That more procedures and more treatments are just too much misery and that he wants to sleep and eat only a minimum or nothing at all. When you are weak and tired it is sometimes more labor than comfort to try to eat and as the body gives up mass you really don't care.

How or if you decide to bring Dad home to your home is and extreamly difficult choice. It is one thing to from your heart promise but it is a completely different thing to do it. It may be really hard to honor his choices and let him live his last days on his own terms. He may sleep a lot or be wakeful more or less around the clock; wandering, paceing, demanding, emotional even hysterical one minute and then sleeping like a baby the next. Something that is nearly impossible if you have to do anything else for anyone else. This kind of care can be shockingly expensive too. Even part time help can run $200 plus a shift and you have to do much of the orientation and training.

Understanding he will be very dependent on you as he becomes maybe incoherent, even more angry or silly childlike, and or probably incontinent and bed bound is hard to process and exhausting. Something that can be excruciateing if you as the adult child don't have skills and strength and dependable help, and accessible secured environment. Can you deal with falls, tantrums, depression, chokeing, vomiting, seizures, and or your Dad running away or withdrawing into a world that only he is in? To say life would be a marathon rollercoaster is not even close to living it. Especially when you have no idea how long the effort may last.

If you go in really knowing your Dad is not coming out of this and you are going to have to survive his loss you may choose to have a team in his space than spend the next years beating yourself up that having the ideal is maybe more than you can do. I see you straining already so I will pray that the choice you make is bearable for all.

Sending love and light your way...

Praying for you and your dad, popcornncoke. Never stopped praying for you two.

Dad is still the same,won't get up to walk down the hall or go outside, he doesn't want to eat. no matter what they bring or I bring him. He did agree to a feeding tube and I hope he won't change his mind.For I hope it will help him want to get back-up on his feet and enjoy his family and his life,until god calls him home. We've been working on the tralier,got rid of the throw-rugs,put his bed closer to the bathroom,putting up rails on the walls. Yes,I know things will get rough and I'm hopely that I'll be able to handle it. My Dad was there for me,when my mom passed away,when my marriage broke-up,helped me raised my 5 boys,helped me when I trying to end my life twice,he was there for me. So now it is my time to be here for him, no matter how hard it gets. My Mingle Family has always answered when I come to you and I'm sure I'll come to you often for your prayers, your shoulders to cry on or just to listen to me. I want to tell you all, Thanks so very much,you are very special to me. Tom[UK1971] still sends me Hugs,Kisses and Winks. God bless you all.

Your dad sounds so much like mine. I feel your pain, and will continue to pray for him, and for all of your family. I hope he doesn't change his mind about the feeding tube.

The Feeding Tube is set up for this Wednesday [Aug.8]. He still wants to go ahead. Some people think I'll regret it, But if he won't eat,what else is there to do?Let him die? He isn't ready to leave yet. I would regret it more,If I didn't help him. Regrets or No Regrets, You would do what you could for your loved one..

I hope all goes well on Wednesday.

Keeping you close to my heart and praying for you all. Lifting you up with all the good vibes I can send ya.

Hi Mingle Family. I'm sorry that I haven't been around. I've just been taking things one day at a time. After 41 days, Dad came home. While in the nursing home,he would do nothing to help hisself,he was mean/rude to the nurses. His insurance only paid for 30 days and his days were up. Monday/Tuesday went great here at home.Then Wednesday and Today has been rough,very rough. He fights me on everything,had to call my son for help,then he fought him,we were trying to get him to bed.he is like a child,I was trying to put some medicine in his feeding tube and he would close the clip on his tube.His legs are so weak,they won't hold him up,he don't want to use the walker or wheelchair.He seems not to trust me,when I try to help him.He is afraid of falling. He plays with the feeding tube all the time. 2/of my boys are going to take turns coming out here to help me at night,seems mornings are pretty for him and I can handle him. They say that God doesn't give you anything that you can't handle. I pray everyday for him to help us. Please remember us in your prayers. For Dad to have good days and For me To be able to be strong.

:flowerforyou
Special Sympathy to you and your family in this very difficult time.

I realize that I didn't up dated this. I'm sorry. After 41 days away from home, Dad came home. We had 2/good days and Then on the 5/day. Dad went home to be with the Lord. I'm so glad that I though him home and I had my time with him. He was in pain and He was ready. So now there is no pain for him,he is with my mom and his mom and dad and rest of his family. I love him and miss him so much. Thanks for all your prayers and your kind words. May God Bless You All.

Your always in my prayers!

Thanks. I wish I could sleep,I just lay awake most of the night I work on the Living Room,I changed it around,trying to wear myself out,so I would sleep tonight.,it didn't work.3:21 here and I'm still awake. I miss my dad so much.