Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: So, is there a downside?
wux Joined Wed 07/29/09 Posts: 7426	Fri 03/23/12 08:15 PM
Oh, that does remind me of another point then... if you can't love or be happy with yourself, why would anyone else ought to? 1. Because they are a better judge of character. 2. Because they don't see your bleak future as sharply as you. 3. Because they are not as good judges of character as you, yourself. 4. Because they are being paid for it to do so by institutions or by charitable foundations, while you are not. 5. Because they can inherit from you, perhaps, while you sure can't. 6. Because you are blind to the great love you deserve, due to overwhelming guilt or due to memories of rejection, abuse and methodical, chronic torture.

josie68 Joined Mon 11/22/10 Posts: 6270	Fri 03/23/12 09:20 PM
I guess everything in life has its ups or downs, but normally it is where you are looking at it from. If you love your life how it is and have family and friends, I don't know that there are downsides. Ifyou don;t see a downside, there probably isn't one for you right now.

RavenousSin Joined Thu 02/23/12 Posts: 666	Sat 03/24/12 12:17 AM Edited by RavenousSin on Sat 03/24/12 12:19 AM
Oh, that does remind me of another point then... if you can't love or be happy with yourself, why would anyone else ought to? 1. Because they are a better judge of character. 2. Because they don't see your bleak future as sharply as you. 3. Because they are not as good judges of character as you, yourself. 4. Because they are being paid for it to do so by institutions or by charitable foundations, while you are not. 5. Because they can inherit from you, perhaps, while you sure can't. 6. Because you are blind to the great love you deserve, due to overwhelming guilt or due to memories of rejection, abuse and methodical, chronic torture. Shh... that was supposed to get people thinking and realize that if they expect to be loved they should love themselves too... Foiled again.

joy4gud Joined Sun 06/05/11 Posts: 3172	Sat 03/24/12 12:53 AM
Oh, that does remind me of another point then... if you can't love or be happy with yourself, why would anyone else ought to?

joy4gud Joined Sun 06/05/11 Posts: 3172	Sat 03/24/12 12:59 AM
Oh, that does remind me of another point then... if you can't love or be happy with yourself, why would anyone else ought to? 1. Because they are a better judge of character. 2. Because they don't see your bleak future as sharply as you. 3. Because they are not as good judges of character as you, yourself. 4. Because they are being paid for it to do so by institutions or by charitable foundations, while you are not. 5. Because they can inherit from you, perhaps, while you sure can't. 6. Because you are blind to the great love you deserve, due to overwhelming guilt or due to memories of rejection, abuse and methodical, chronic torture. well, now iam thinking...

mg1959 Joined Thu 04/05/07 Posts: 7872	Fri 03/30/12 04:26 AM
{{{Dada}}} I hear you and I know what you are talking about. There is nothing wrong about being single, in fact I am about to decide of becoming alone in my entire life since all the relationships that I had were not in favor with me. You know me and my preferences, and you were always like you always chase young guys - yes young, poor guys! Now I am out of it! Cheer up Dada, you have your baby girl, always! thanks baby girl love ya Just got back from a trip, ready to leave on another soon, and was interested to get home and read some of the comments. I think being content with our own self is a great love affair all on it's own. The last couple of months I have been bit with the happy bug and have enjoyed doing even the smallest of things by myself. If there is any pain from being alone I'm not recognizing it. I think I started this thread cause I was interested if others felt what I am going through or if the "need" is always there to be with someone. I thought that after I finally dealt with my life's love and loss that I would be on the search of some sort, but I'm finding this not to be the case. The door is wide open but I don't feel the need like I thought one day I would.

Shy_Emo_chick Joined Fri 04/01/11 Posts: 4393	Fri 03/30/12 05:36 AM
If you can accept yourself being in every situation, then i see no downside.

JERMANICUS Joined Sat 01/28/12 Posts: 597	Fri 03/30/12 05:38 AM
To thine own self be true

RavenousSin Joined Thu 02/23/12 Posts: 666	Fri 03/30/12 10:11 AM
If you can accept yourself being in every situation, then i see no downside.

Christinacospgs Joined Sun 04/27/08 Posts: 6376	Fri 03/30/12 01:41 PM
I think people need to be perfectly happy and love themself, alone, before they can do the same to someone else. So true. If one can't find happiness alone, they're more prone to be dependent upon the other and also bring more problems into a relationship. You're more adept to loving another when you've come to love yourself. I don't mean to get preachy, but I'm reminded of two Buddha quotes: - "You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." - "Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without." Hey, that's pretty deep for one so young! : )

pyxxie13 Joined Wed 09/28/11 Posts: 3835	Fri 03/30/12 02:44 PM
I recently went on a date with someone who said to me "I do not understand why you are single". I just don't see why I would have to be attached to anyone in order to not appear as something is wrong with me.