is that wrong? is it bad?

I guess my mind set is....

Love the ones you love...with everything you got. Cause love is rare.

Hate the people who have earned hatred and hate them hard. Cause hate is rare.

Love and hate...to think one doesn't exist without the other is juvenile.

I think when people wrong us, we have to remember that we too have wronged others. No one is perfect, and we have to keep that in mind. That's kinda what forgiveness is about.

But which would you rather have more of?

People who let me love them....next question.

yes that emptiness of understanding & the knowledge that we are all guilty just as we are all not guilty

me too krupa

but sometimes I think I could love those I truly love if I coulcd come to forgive those who have wronged me - like a glimpse of nirvana

If you think about, wouldn't forgiveness be an act of love?

In time you may forgive,depending of what it is you choose not to forgive of the offending person(s). Forgive yourself so you are light. Carry on, life does.

I love those who allow me to love them. It is as simple as that. I don't give that courtesy to those schittbirds who think that they are magically entitled to love without earning it. When I am allowed to love...it is true and genuine....fortunately, there are alot of people here who dig on love or at least respect.

Forgiveness is for you not the other person. It's quite sad so many people are hateful.

You have to just let it all go. Let go of all the hurt and the pain. When I came to accept that everyone has emotional baggage from their childhood and relationships, I realized that the pain they caused me is usually a result of the pain they experienced. I'm always handy with suggestions of good books, resources and techniques someone can use to overcome their problems.

Good luck, it's possible, but I never said it's easy.

I always like to think that someone who screws you over or hurts you will someday be repaid by Karma in the mean time you kinda do forgive them and go on with your life you just never forget what they did to you!!!

If someone does something just to do me wrong then I have no forgiveness.

If they do something that ends up doing me wrong and apologize, actually feel bad about it, will try to make things right and will actively try not to let it happen agian in the future, I can be forgiving depending on what it is.

If you have to convince yourself to forgive someone then you aren't really forgiving them, you're just throwing a blanket over the problem to make it go away.

are you calling me fat?

I am totally with Totage on this. Forgiving someone does NOT mean allowing yourself to continue to be maltreated. It just puts the feeling of injury (not the lesson from the injury) in the past. It frees you from that baggage. When we don't forgive someone, we allow them to keep power over us.

Truly forgiving is not easy. It doesn't mean you like the person or approve of them or want to give them another chance. It just means that you let go.

Not easy, but very good for the soul.

If you are "Christian" or like-minded you place the evil load on Jesus shoulders.

It took me 35 years or so to forgive my first wife. I was ate up with hate. Then near death I realized I wasn't going to see St Peter unless I let it go, so I did.

So I forgive without backsliding. Nothing in this world is worth hating over. JMO.

Forgiveness is something that I have tought a lot about.

To me there are two sides to forgiveness.

Forgivness is more often than not more for the person doing the forgiving than the one being forgiven.

I personally feel some people are such worthless human beings and so totally incapable of putting themself in anyone elses shoes that forgiveing them would be meaningless gesture. They would be oblivious to it. Or maybe even enjoy thinking they had gotten over on you or your forgiveness is some kind of endorsement. Or weakness. Especially cowardice. Something I would have a really hard time for in the people I don't want to forgive.

Which was another place I really struggled with forgiveness becasue some things I just feel are so haneous that I want no question about wheather I endorse them or not.

But where forgiveness is letting go of the unforgiveable; making them powerless, writing them off as even existing in my life any longer I don't know if it is chooseing to forgive or just forget them.

If forgiving has even the slightest chance of redemption of the failed person I think I am more inclined to consider it. I have seen where being forgiven did have great power to improve another persons future behavior. I think if a person thinks they can never redeem themsoef it is hard to motivate them.

The thing that sticks with me is that non-forgiveness is usually two emotions; anger and fear. While fear might teach a certain caution anger is pretty much a wasted emotion that hurts the person angry more than anyone because it prevents them from really focusing on solutions or even ignoreing the problem and spending the same energy on something worthwhile. Anger is just distracting.

Do I try to forgive some people and then back-slide? Sure there are unfortuneately a few people in our lives that as hard as you try are hard to really get out of your life and forget. Usualy family or friends or people who are stuck in your circle of life just keep it going can fan the embers back to flames occassionally. Maybe that is not absolute forgiveness?

Sometimes I applaud all the failed relationships that biotch (my ex wife) keeps attaining. Other times I'd rather she be happy or that I would be completely neutral and not care. Somehow, I think that letting go and working on my happiness is more important. I forgive what happened because I know we're only human and make mistakes since I can recall a few of my own. Forgiveness is not an easy thing. I'd like to think I've arrived

^^^^^^What he said